Today, to make up for the fact that we re all off riding diamond-studded jetskis across a man-made lake of melted rubies, all the hecklerspray writers have put their heads together and had a long think about the TV shows that we all liked the best from 2006.
Now, there s every chance that this is the nine billionth Best Of list you ve read this week alone, but this is one you should really pay attention to. Why? Because when it comes to bumming around watching hour upon hour of bad television simply because the remote control is slightly out of reach and it s too much effort to get up, hecklerspray is world class.
Posted in , on December 28th, 2006 |
You could say it s good news that Jessica Simpson and CBS have jointly decided to remove 9 To 5 from the scheduled Boxing Day broadcast of the Kennedy Centre Honours because - let s face it - three and a half minutes where you don t see Jessica Simpson on TV yowling like a trapped cat is infinitely better than three and a half minutes where you do. But we can t help also being a little sad at the news, because who in their right mind would actually watch the Kennedy Centre Honours for any other reason than to have a quick chuckle at a bright orange manjawed woman arsing up the lines of a song and tearfully running from the stage without any applause at all?
Posted in , , on December 22nd, 2006 |
That s the on-screen world of Lost, of course.
The off-screen world of Lost is a little different; yesterday the home of Evangeline Lilly - who plays Kate in Lost - was destroyed in a house fire, and not a single wisp of black smoke turned into a playful horse or a man s dead father, and it didn t even think of showing anybody an important flashback of their life. Luckily Evangeline Lilly wasn t at home when her house burnt down but, now that she s homeless, maybe she ll have to temporarily bunk up with another Lost cast-member. We know what you re thinking - we wouldn t want to share with the fat guy either.
Posted in , on December 21st, 2006 |
Frighteningly, though, How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria was actually successful - successful enough for toady-looking moneybag Andrew Lloyd Webber to announce another similar musical TV show based on Joseph And His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat named Any Dream Will Do. That s right - after a nationwide search to find a young woman who could sing with the effortless power and grace of Julie Andrews, Any Dream Will Do will see Andrew Lloyd Webber looking for a bloke who sounds like Phillip Schofield.
Sounds like a ratings smash, we re sure.
Posted in on December 21st, 2006 |
Joseph Barbera - the more creative half of the immensely talented and successful animation partnership Hanna-Barbera - died in his home yesterday aged 95; with Joseph Barbera s cause of death probably linked to him being 95 years old.
In the 68 years since Joseph Barbera - along with partner Bill Hanna - first began to put pen to paper, he s created so many iconic cartoon creations loved by generations of children that it s almost too difficult to pinpoint Joseph Barbera s one true defining work.
Was it co-creating Tom and Jerry in 1939? Was it helping to turn The Flintstones into one of the most successful TV comedies of all time? Everyone has their own favourite Joseph Barbera show, and we can t decide whether ours is Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?
, The New Scooby Doo Movies, The Scooby-Doo/ Dynomutt Hour, Scooby s All-Star Laff-A-Lympics, Scooby-Doo And Scrappy-Doo, The Richie Rich/Scooby-Doo Show, The Scooby-Doo/ Scrappy-Doo/ Puppy Hour, The All-New Scooby And Scrappy-Doo Show, The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby Doo, A Pup Named Scooby-Doo, What s New, Scooby-Doo? or Shaggy Scooby-Doo Get A Clue!
Nah, it was probably The Jetsons.
Posted in , on December 19th, 2006 |
But things sometimes don t go the way you expect them to, and that s the case with If I Did It, Here s How it Happened by OJ Simpson. Thanks to some crazy fools thinking that a book written by a man found to be legally liable for the deaths of his ex-wife and her friend describing exactly how he would have brutally murdered them if he had the chance was in bad taste, If I Did It, Here s How It Happened by OJ Simpson will never see the light of day. And thanks to all the fuss that the OJ Simpson Murdering Former Spouses And Their Friends For Dummies caused, the woman in charge of the whole shebang, Judith Regan, has been sacked by Rupert Murdoch.
Posted in , , on December 18th, 2006 |
When Leona Lewis won X Factor, one of three main responses was prompted from the people watching at home. 1) Thank God for that, at least that swivel-eyed twerp who looks like a demonic ventriloquist s dummy didn t win, 2) O No I Luvvvvvvv Ray Ur So gawjus Babe UR F2F Lol!
!!!
!!1!
!!!
1!! or 3) Did I really waste two and a half fucking hours of my precious life actually watching this shit?
I feel so so dirty. Do you really need to ask which of these three responses we were going through as Leona Lewis stammered and sobbed her way to X Factor victory on Saturday? Do you?
Really?
Posted in , on December 18th, 2006 |
When you re famous, every single word you say should be carved into marble and preserved for generations; but when you re half-famous and barely recognisable, most things you say sound like the twerpings of a lonely pensioner - just ask Sienna Miller.
Sienna Miller.
Think hard, you know who Sienna Miller is. She was in Layer Cake for eight seconds and Alfie for 14 seconds, remember? Oh, and she was Jude Law s girlfriend when he started banging the help.
But even though Sienna Miller is approximately a million times more famous for sort of going out with the balding bloke from The Holiday than she is for doing a job - and is still far less famous than Howard from the Halifax advert - Sienna Miller still clearly has her eyes on the Voice Of A Generation prize, and has decided to tell Tatler all sorts of lazy, barely-conceived generalisations in the hope that it makes her look either clever or deep. It doesn t. For starters, Sienna Miller doesn t like reality TV because of, you know, what it does to, like, society.
And stuff.
Posted in , , on December 15th, 2006 |
That s it - we really don t want to see an Everybody Loves Raymond reunion show any more. That s partly to do with Everybody Loves Raymond being dreadful and partly to do with the actor who played the angry Dad, Peter Boyle, dying.
Peter Boyle died in a New York hospital on Tuesday night aged 71 after a fight with heart disease and plasma cell cancer multiple myeloma. But to remember Peter Boyle solely as the father in a long-running, toothlessly inoffensive sitcom about a family that hates each other would be to do him a great disservice - Peter Boyle also starred in memorable pieces of cinema such as Taxi Driver, Young Frankenstein and Monster s Ball. However, we know how we re going to remember Peter Boyle: as the brutal mastermind of the violent United Kickboxing Association in Kickboxer 2: The Road Back.
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