St. Paul Pioneer Press | 12/23/2006 | Sanseclause knows

Whether you're a party-planning Gophers fan, an upwardly mobile corporate executive on a budget, a frostbitten fisherman or a youngster who still believes in Brad Johnson, Sanseclause has a gift idea for you.

For the young corporate executive wannabe intent on kissing up to the boss, who is a huge Vikings fan: A one-hour appearance by half a dozen Vikings cheerleaders at a corporate function. From vikings.

com, $900.
For Vikings season-ticket holders who want to protect their eardrums from the obscenely loud music and other noise played over the Metrodome's public address system during breaks in the game: A "Hear And Protect Electronic Muff" from Cabela's, $24.99.

For the fan who wants to make sure he's taking the quickest route to his favorite sports venue: A Garmin StreetPilot C550 WAAS-Enabled Portable GPS Navigation System from bestbuy.com, $699.99.

For the Gophers football fan who wants to throw an Insight Bowl party but doesn't want to break out the good china: A 50-piece dinnerware set of heavyweight plastic that, according to the ad, has a "fine china look with sparkling gold rim and flatware with sterling silver appeal." From Party America, $29.99.

For coaches or fans who are so caught up in their team's dismal performances that they grind their teeth while sleeping: The SleepRight Advance Adjustable Night Guard from sleepright.com, $99.95.

For the Vikings fan who wants to cherish those special moments when Troy Williamson actually caught the ball: A Westrim Complete Scrapbook Boxed Kit from Michaels, The Arts and Crafts Store, $19.99.
For the video game aficionado with a great deal of disposable income: A PlayStation 3 from aqualityproducts.

com, $793.69.
For the football and race-car fan who owns a PlayStation 2 and is convinced he or she could be a better head coach for the Vikings than Brad Childress and a better race-car driver than, well, just about anybody: A PlayStation 2 version of NFL Head Coach and Gran Turismo 4 from Circuit City, $30 (for two video games).

For the young corporate executive wannabe on a budget and yet intent on kissing up to the boss, who is a Vikings fan: A 2006-07 autographed team calendar of the Vikings cheerleaders from vikings.com, $50.
For the young corporate executive wannabe on a really tight budget and yet intent on kissing up to the boss, who is a Vikings fan: A 2006-07 non-autographed team calendar of the Vikings cheerleaders from vikings.

com, $30.
For the football-baseball-hockey-NASCAR fan who is too caught up in fantasy and rotisserie games to realize he hasn't changed the oil in his 1983 Chevette since Priest Holmes held the NFL record for touchdowns: An oil change from Precision Tune Auto Care, $16.95.

For the ice fisherman who is frostbitten from sitting on an upside-down bucket on a frozen lake with no protection from the wind: A Frabill 6140 Prowler GT two-person shelter from Mills Fleet Farm, $499.99.
For the Little League parent who wants his or her child to hit just like American League batting champion Joe Mauer: The Total Hitting System designed by Mauer's father, Jake.

From mauersquickswing.com, $149.95.

For the fan who has been squirreling away money for decades and is tired of watching sporting events on a 13-inch black-and-white TV from the 1970s and wants a state-of-the-art big-screen television: A Hitachi Ultravision 55-inch plasma HDTV from bestbuy.com, $2,999.99.

For the Brad Johnson fan who doesn't care that ol' Brad has looked old most of the season: A No. 14 replica Vikings jersey from Sports Authority, $65.
For the Vikings fan who wants to try stitching together his or her own replica jersey: A Singer sewing machine that features 30 stitch functions.

From Target, $75.
For the mustachioed Vikings fan who doesn't want people to think he's trying to look like Brad Childress: A Norelco Speed-XL Jet Clean rechargeable shaver from Target, $119.99.

For the non-sports fan who wants to get a message to a friend who wears an Italian charm bracelet made entirely of team logos that there is more to life than sports: A Tweety Bird watch from Herberger's, $29.99.
For the woman who wants her man to smell better than Kevin Garnett after a double-overtime game: An Armani Code for Him eau de toilette spray (2.

5 oz.) from Macy's, $60.
For the Vikings fan who has grown weary of watching games on a plastic purple inflatable chair with the team logo on it, and wants to become a couch potato on something far more comfortable and luxurious: An 88-inch Wyndham sofa from HOM, for $1,599.

99.
For the college football fan who wants to eat more than a burger and fries while watching the New Year's Eve games: 12-ounce Sea Best Lobster Tails from Rainbow, $19.99 each.

For the Timberwolves fan who can't have Allen Iverson on his team but can have temporary copies of Iverson's tattoos on his body: A Henna Mehndi Kit temporary body art kit from Cost Plus World Market, $9.99.
For that transplanted Philadelphia Eagles fan who is a huge Vince Papale fan: A DVD of "Invincible," the story of bartender Vince Papale becoming a member of the Philadelphia Eagles, from Circuit City, $13.

99.
For the sports fan who wants to wean himself off of wearing team logo T-shirts every day: A Superman men's T-shirt and hat gift set from Target, $9.99.

For the outdoors enthusiast who doesn't want to leave shotguns sitting around: A 14-gun security cabinet from Mills Fleet Farm, $149.99.
For the football fan who wants to tote binoculars, a cell phone, a hand-held TV, an iPod, an AM/FM radio, gloves, a flask and a Quiznos sandwich to games in only the clothes he or she is wearing: A Tactical 4.

0 jacket with 40 pockets and compartments from scottevest.com, $229.
For the fan who can't get enough of sports radio talk shows and occasionally enjoys listening to a good song: An all-in-one Pioneer XM Radio and MP3 player from Circuit City, $249.

99.