EUROVISION SONG CONTEST 2006: LORDI'S "DAY OF ROCKENING"
Originally posted on:
5/23/06
Although I must admit--I probably laughed harder when I found out about VH1's new "Supergroup" show. Check out
of the "Supergroup" performing in Las Vegas. HOW FUCKING APPROPRIATE that these assholes have their show set in Las Vegas--the town that mimics anything widely known and hangs a slot machine around its neck. By the way--this makes it the second band Ted Nugent has been in which has featured the word "Damn" in its name, and the second band where the rest of the members in it all sucked.
..I gotta be honest before someone calls me out on that last comment.
It's true--I liked Skid Row when I was coming up (I'm from Jersey and "I Remember You" still rocks) and I give Anthrax props for covering "London." But nothing else. That hat Joey Belladonna was wearing in the "Bring Da Noize" video should be used as an interrogation device in Gitmo.
And, Scott, bro. Hey. Uh, it's, um.
...
time to cut the beard, man. At least stop coloring it, dood. I know you got some serious dedication, bro, but, c'mon, man, it's starting to look a dildo.
More than anything else.
One day after five Finns in monster masks edged out a Russian heartthrob at Europe's largest and most-watched pop music contest,[Eurovision Song Contest 2006], some Russians complained Sunday that the vote was skewed against their country.
"Many specialists considered the vote for the victor to be a protest vote," [an anchorwoman for state-run Russian radio stationChannel One] asserted.
fucking specialists?
And if by some stretch of the imagination these specialists actually exist--what the fuck do they specialize IN? Phone-taps? Vote-rigging?
"The sense is that the contest was more about circus performers, clowns and pyrotechnic effects, and not a song contest," Yuri Aktsyuta, a top music producer at Channel One, said in televised comments.
!! Guess what, Yuri?
You're fucking retarded!
You can't have a song contest with good songs! It's impossible!How many times must I say it? MUSIC IS NOT SPORTS. It's not meant to be competitive!
The pressure to compete with other songwriters totally undermines the freedom, honesty, and bravery of the songwriting process. MOTHERFUCKING WORD, bitch.
"I will never believe that the song by the Finnish group Lordi was better and stronger as a song than ours," he said.
"I think that Russia was the winner and the voting was a protest vote, to some extent, but it was unclear what the protest was for."
Shut up, dood. Just come out and say it, if you think the Eurovision Song Contest is about former Russian colonies or satellite nations sticking it to the Eastern European "man."
The Finnish cartoon metalheads, who sport latex monster masks and spark-spewing instruments and sing about "the Arockalypse," scandalized some compatriots when their song "Hard Rock Hallelujah" was chosen to represent the Nordic nation.
! Sounds WAY better than Hip-hopalypse. Cuz that shit doesn't really sound threatening.
I wouldn't be surprised if God himself would approve of forever spell-checking "apocalypse" to "arockalypse." It would be like a God-wink.
Like--I can seriously picture a top-button-buttoned, bent-wire-frames church band playing shit like this during Wednesday night service.
"This is a victory for rock music ..
. and also a victory for open-mindedness," lead singer Mr. Lordi told a news conference after the win -- Finland's first.
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