Egotastic! - Madonna Archives

Hey Lindsay, don't you feel special now? I bet you do. Must be nice to know that you rank higher than Britney Spears, at least in the eyes of Madonna that is (though anyone who thinks anything good about Britney Spears is pretty fucked in the head if you ask me).

What am I talking about, you ask? Well, MSNBC's is reporting that Madonna has ended her friendship with Britney Spears in favour of one with Linsday Lohan. But the why is the eral crux of it.

Madonna dumped Britney, not because she's turned into a disgusting, redneck mess. No, her reasons are much deeper.
Is she against Britney's stance on child safety?

No. Is she afraid of contracting some disease by just standing near Britney? No.

Is she utterly repulsed by Britney's choice in men? No. Madonna has dumped Britney, because Britney dumped Kabbalah.

That's right, the one sane thing Britney Spears has done in recent memory is what has Madonna ticked off. And since Lindsay Lohan's young, impressionable mind is still so susceptible to the latest Hollywood crap trend, she's jumped on board the red-bracelet-wearing cult, and Madonna loves her for it.

Lohan recently acknowledged that she was "looking into Kabbalah," and now, Madonna wants to sing a duet with the potential convert, according to In Touch Weekly.

"Madonna's giving Lindsay advice on her music career, and she wants to work on a film with Madonna, too!" an insider told the mag. The source says the two talk a few times a week and are planning a "spiritual journey" once Madonna's current tour is over.

"They're going to visit the Holy Land," the insider says.

See it doesn't take that much to get ahead in Hollywood. Just a pretty face, a great set of tits, and the willingness to completely subvert your entire personality in hopes that someone equally as vain, but marginally more influential will take care of you.

Done and Done.
Well, this is an odd one. reports that Madonna will be playing at the Coachella music festival this summer.

"I've never performed at a festival," said Madonna. "And I'm especially excited about playing at Coachella before I start my own tour." She joins a massive bill that includes industrial act Tool, dark pop-rockers Depeche Mode, post-punk act Franz Ferdinand, rapper Common, and buzzed-about reggae newcomers Matisyahu and Damian Marley.

Now, I may be wrong here, but I thought Coachella was the festival for all those Emo-loving, Seth Cohen wannabes, not Madonna groupies. Of course, Madonna is all about coopting anything remotely cool, so I guess it makes sense.
I still think Madonna can't sing, but those CG Gorillaz were pretty cool.

Hey, is it just me, or was Madonna doing a lip-sync when she first started? I think she was, cuz her lips were moving all wrong, and she actually sounded good for a few seconds. At the very least, she's a sexy lady.

..
(Turn up your speakers, the volume's a bit low on this one.

)
You can find a ton of pitures of Madonna at the Grammy Awards after the jump.
And , Madonna has apparently fallen for the country where she is currently promoting her new album "Confessions on a Dancefloor." In fact, she is so enamoured with Japan, that she has a Japanese chef with her everywhere she goes, says .

Some of my videos, some of my performances on stage have been inspired by Japanese cinema, martial arts, Japanese music, Japanese fashion, Japanese food. I love Japanese food. I have a Japanese cook in London that travels everywhere with me.

I probably eat more Japanese food than you do.

She credits her Japanese eating habits with helping her maintain her figure, and while she does look great for a woman of 47, she really needs to find some different inspiration for her latest fashion choices. Seriously, what the hell is she wearing?

Madonna performed at the London nightclub G.A.Y.

this past Saturday, and from the looks of it, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Her pink leotard is soaked right through with sweat, and for some reason, she can't seem to keep her hand out of her shorts. I don't know if sticking your hand down your pants is the right move for a girl at a gay bar, but whatever, as long as she gets the publicity, right?

Tons more pictures of Madonna at G.A.Y.

after the jump.
Alright, I hate to admit it, but Madonna kinda rocked at the MTV Europe Music Awards. It was Madonna, so that means the singing was terrible, but her new song is fantastic.

I have to say, though, her outfit is a world of wrong unto itself. If Madonna is going to try to bring back the Eighties, why not wear what she actually wore in the Eighties, instead of some weird space-hooker get-up. And when did she steal U2's mirrorball lemon?

Hey, does anyone know what the sample is in that song (the whistley sounding bit)? , thanks.
Answer: Alright!

I got a ton of emails letting me know the sample is "Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight)" by ABBA. Thanks everyone, you're great!