The Chaser's year in review - In Depth - theage.com.au
IN 2006, those hoping that humans would finally put aside disappointed. The twin scourges of Islamic extremism and the Bush administration continued to ravage the globe, although militant personages such as Danish cartoonists and the Pope.
President Bush spent the year on the defensive, showing the capacities for doing nothing.
In this respect, he was bettered only by Kofi Annan.
endless film about climate change. Al Gore led the campaign, coming not president of the United States.
After years of ignoring the issue, even John Howard finally moved to tackle climate change, realising that Kirribilli House was It was above all a year that was about survival. Western civilisation, the miners in Beaconsfield, and the television career despite seemingly insurmountable odds. Oh, and bad stuff happened in Darfur, Lebanon and Mumbai, but few Australians were involved.
Not all our great institutions survived unscathed. Crippled by competition from the internet, broadsheet newspapers culled hard news, instead printing thousands of words of frivolous, poorly written, year-end filler material. It is in that spirit that we bring you our review of 2006.
IF IT wasn't for the fact that it saw nothing, didn't know, wasn't advised and cannot be held responsible, 2006 could have been a year in which the Federal Government was tarnished by scandal. When it became clear that Australia's monopoly wheat exporter, AWB, had breached UN sanctions against Saddam Hussein, the Government waited a number of years, invaded Iraq, then immediately any wrongdoing.
The year began with Mark Vaile, Alexander Downer and the Prime Minister himself giving evidence to the Cole Royal Commission.
All But when Commissioner Cole cleared the Government, their memories serviceman to die in Iraq. Another transport company sent the wrong remains back to Australia, an error Schapelle Corby blamed on Nelson was forced to defend the debacle, but convincingly argued to the invasion of Iraq as a whole.
By the end of the year, the Australian Defence Force had lost many things: Private Kovco's body, the report about the loss of the body, and then, when the final inquiry into his death was handed down, all credibility.
True to form, the Government denied knowledge of all of the above.
becoming Prime Minister, a milestone enthusiastically celebrated by everyone in the Government except Peter Costello. peeved Peter Costello.
over to Costello in return for the chance to succeed Downer. The Liberal Party. Howard immediately dismissed McLachlan as a non-core Australians realised that, yet again, Howard had lied and that, yet again, they didn't care.
was called into question. As rumours of a challenge mounted, experience of losing elections to Howard. But caucus decided that inevitable defeat was less appealing than false hope, and swung behind the dream team of Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard, so dubbed because they will only win in their dreams.
Labor's most they have a succession arrangement, but speculation is set to continue until Ian McLachlan next cleans out his wallet.
IN 2006, Parliament voted to remove the health minister's power to veto the use of the abortion pill RU486. Politicians struggled with their conscience on the delicate issue of abortion, and many decided to support the bill purely out of spite for Tony Abbott.
cloning. Both the Prime Minister and new Labor leader Kevin Rudd voted against the bill. Rudd said he objected to the creation of destruction, even though that had been the ALP's sole purpose for The remainder of Telstra finally went on sale, with the $3.
70 shares becoming the telco's first reasonably priced product.
Barnaby Joyce threatened to block the sale, but with assurances his stance would get full news coverage in the bush, he gave the green light.
day for losing the company $45.
5 million a day, successfully efficiently as a public/private hybrid. The public needed no more convincing and fell behind the sale. The Government privately hoped Trujillo would be headhunted, preferably by some members of Wa-wa's tribe.
reforms, which some suggested put workers at the mercy of their was very familiar.
job security, particularly for Opposition leaders. During the tussle over industrial relations, the Government suggested the shallow populism, but this accusation was comprehensively disproved by preferred Prime Minister polls.
In a number of high-profile cases, such as that of the Cowra abattoir workers, intense publicity forced businesses to abandon huge public outcry.
WHEN the US invaded Iraq, it promised to promote American ideals like freedom and democracy. By the end of 2006, Iraq did in fact closely resemble America, but America as it was during the civil war of the 1860s.
generations was sworn in in May. Last-minute sectarian wrangling almost derailed the process, until the Shiites, Sunnis and Kurds finally settled on a cabinet they all mistrusted equally.
public, while insurgents marked it with a 21-car-bomb salute.
By the end of the year, the new Government had achieved nothing and was blaming others for all that went wrong, proving that it truly was capable of functioning like other democracies.
resign.
Despite the backlash, Bush still refused to reduce American enough job of that.
and sentenced to death. The former dictator slammed the decision and appealed, claiming he killed many more. The appeal failed.
In Israel, the year started off with greater optimism as mortal with a platform based on lasting peace. The former general's comprehend it.
deteriorate further.
By year's end, supporters of Fatah were fighting supporters of Hamas, as the two sides realised that inconvenient travel.
Commonwealth Games. While the home team fell just short of the Commonwealth record of 87 gold medals, local retailers triumphed, relay, sprinter Tamsyn Lewis went on to star among the finally well equipped to compete in.
After the Commonwealth Games, the nation's attention turned to World Cups.
Upon the Socceroos' return, Sydneysiders held a moral victory parade, only easing their new-found football fever to become temporarily interested in the Swans during grand final week.
Later in the year, Ian Thorpe retired from competitive swimming, and also from swimming in the Commonwealth Games.
He made the Finally, the Australian cricket team ended the year in fine style, capturing the Ashes in front of 5000 Australians, 15,000 Englishmen and one trumpet. The trumpet was also controversially captured by the Australians, although the English have vowed to take it back in 2009.
since the 1940s, a time when many of the current Australian team were in their prime.
man of the people, media visionary and generous donor to the weak and needy. This had no connection with the death in December 2005 of Kerry Packer bully, tax evader and trash-mag king. In Denmark, the Jyllands-Posten newspaper published 12 censorship.
It ended up proving censorship's virtues when the Muslim world exploded in anger over the perceived blasphemy. The disappointingly, he was not among the casualties.
This year, we learnt that we were very keen to relive every and that we really loved Steve Irwin all along, even though we'd done nothing but criticise him for 10 years.
2006 also saw many changes in media policy. Communications would be no frenzy of buying and selling. The ensuing frenzy of Nine and half of Channel Seven.
Helen Coonan laughed off the frenzy, but not as much as Jessica Rowe laughed off everything else.
The ABC heralded in a policy of balance, meaning that news reporting must be balanced with Piers Akerman's view, that Alan Jones' view must be respected by the board, and that Bananas in Pyjamas should not be allowed to bend to the left.
descended on the town of Beaconsfield in such numbers that, when they finally emerged, Brant Webb and Todd Russell immediately asked to be buried again.
In the frenzy to talk to the miners, David Koch famously hopped in an ambulance. He was followed by Richard Carleton, who unfortunately didn't hop out again.
shouting a round of beers, although most of them were drunk by Glenn Milne.
The duo ultimately appeared on The Footy Show, Newman.
Other than the town's sole vendor of mochaccinos, the biggest Shorten, who provided an obsessed media with constant camera grabs in lieu of any actual news. At the time of WorkChoices, Shorten's great benefits to their members, and even greater benefits to their leaders.
By the end of the 14-day saga, Shorten was offered ALP preselection, was being touted as a possible leader, and was giving hourly updates on Kim Beazley's survival prospects.
Beaconsfield upset the Today Tonight host enormously, but only because she hadn't thought to ask for one.
After the criticisms, Robson didn't venture out of the studio again until the death of Steve Irwin, where the outdoor air again tribute.
The plan backfired when the lizard upstaged her, and by quit as host in emotional circumstances, slamming herself as a "job snob" in the process.
IT WAS a happy year for Tom Cruise, who brought a new child into his family to accompany his other child, Katie Holmes. Suri's birth was a particularly joyous occasion, marred only by her repeated attempts to climb back into the womb.
The two-hour-old infant was immediately given a personality test which, to the delight of her parents, came back negative, ending any doubts the child was theirs.
Cruise's ex-wife, Nicole Kidman, also tied the knot with country music star Keith Urban, making Urban the first achievement-free New Zealander to be claimed as an Australian.
According to some, Urban won Kidman's heart by serenading her, his music.
lucking out on a Qantas Mystery Flight. Jolie opted for a natural birth, strictly limiting her pre-natal injections to collagen and botox.
The baby was born healthy and happy, prompting huge celebrations across Namibia, as the nation finally pushed its infant mortality rate below the crucial 100 per cent barrier.
Madonna adopted an African child of her own. Unfortunately, the in Hollywood he never considered possible back in Africa.
But 2006 wasn't all champagne and roses.
Paul McCartney split prosthetic leg.
In the ensuing ugliness, Mills accused McCartney of being singer's reputation since Wings.
Britney Spears also filed for divorce in 2006, citing the rarely HORRENDOUS allegations of rape, degradation and brutal conditions aboard a P O Cruise horrified the public, but led the his role in the Dianne Brimble case.
Nevertheless, he still somehow managed to beat Kim Beazley in a preferred leader poll.
record, and was the subject of a hostile biography, Spun maidens. The controversial cricketer still refuses to read the book, at least until it is released in pop-up format.
eaten by cats. Hilali's advisor, Keysar Trad, quickly assured the media that the sheikh's comments had been taken out of context, and intended to blame the Jews.
Al-Hilali then disowned all the statements, saying they were an attempt by the CIA to discredit Muslims.
But the CIA denied the claim, pointing out that no one could discredit Muslims better than the sheikh himself.
teams. He accused Pakistan of ball-tampering during a Test in England, leading to the match being forfeited.
While they initially shunned the umpire completely, Pakistan later reneged, saying they would be happy to involve Hair in any future nuclear tests. Hair maintained that he was not a racist, and certainly not in comparison to Dean Jones. Eventually sacked, he upheld the laws of cricket to the end, calling himself for chucking his own career.
Wendell Sailor left elite sport in ignominy, but had a lot more fun with it, testing positive to cocaine. The winger seemed suspiciously upbeat about his two-year ban, showing none of the depression usually associated with the end of a career. Instead, he was chatty, elated, and occasionally paranoid.
actor made anti-Semitic comments when he was arrested, which Gibson at first denied, saying such speculation was typical of the you-know-whos who run the media.
He finally confessed to the statements, but denied being anti-Semitic, insisting that some of his best friends were f---ing Jews, who were responsible for all the wars in the world.
After sobering up, the chastened actor apologised for singling out Jews, and acknowledged that the Masons, the World Bank and the to form a New World Order.
Michael Richards, better (in fact, only) known as Kramer from a nigger!" at a noisy heckler.
After failing to pass the abuse off as a Kramer-style sketch, he racist tirades only in Mayan and Aramaic.
Keywords: Prime Minister, Commonwealth Games, Peter Costello, Kevin Rudd, Kim Beazley, Steve Irwin
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