By Jessica Peralta, Laila Derakhshanian and Matt Degen
Your idea of happiness is standing in front of a crowded bar, singing a drunken version of a-ha's "Take on Me," while wondering if you sound as good as you did in your car this morning.
If you were sober, you'd be able to interpret the painful answer from looks on faces in the crowd.
Lucky enough for your ego, you remain unaware, and return to your seat knowing lead vocalist, Morten Harket, could not have sounded better.
We've been there. In fact, a couple of SqueezeOC staffers have been there every week for the past several months. Popularized in the United States during the `90s, karaoke - which originated in Japan several decades ago - is still being fueled in 2006 by passionate rock-star wannabes who enjoy being in the spotlight for a night.
Karaoke is plenty available in bars, restaurants and nightclubs, and many have special nights dedicated just to karaoke.
The karaoke crowd consists of singers and performers of all levels of talent, ages, nationalities and personalities. Some arrive with friends, others come alone.
Some are serious, some are mostly drunk.
We've rounded up tips from a KJ, vocal instructors and fellow karaoke-ers to help you better prepare for your time behind the mic.
Learn what we learned on our several-month karaoke project.
If you don't want to be the laughing stock of your karaoke outing, you'll need at least a little planning. A couple of us found this out the hard way.
We saw a lot of blank stares and gaping mouths before we got our act together.
Now, six months after our first outing, we even get a little applause.
_ Use props like wigs, sunglasses or hats to add to a performance. This can also help you if you're nervous and want to hide a little.
(Good KJs sometimes have props handy.)
_ Dance and move around the stage whenever you can. You don't have to be vocally talented to pull off a good performance - just entertaining.
_ Choose performance-friendly songs. Think about how attention-grabbing the song is to listen to. So you have a soft spot for Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath My Wings" - but unless you have some fun new way to perform it, save it for your drive home.
Even really good singers get boring when they choose a dull song.
_ Be able to laugh at yourself. If you're not the best singer in the world, acting a little silly can help in the entertainment department.
Levity can also help you roll with the punches when audience members aren't kind. Confidence is one of the most important characteristics of a successful performance.
_ Invent a stage name for yourself.
It'll add an aura of mystery to you and reflect your creativity.
_ Become proficient at several songs so you have a good repertoire to choose from. You never know which songs will be available at a venue, so it's good to be prepared with options.
_ Sing loud and clear. It's more engaging when people have vocals to listen to - even if you don't sound like Tom Jones.
Vocal instructors offer tips for your next karaoke performance.
Anyone who's visited a karaoke bar knows what it's like to sit through a song gone bad.
The woman who thinks she can actually pull off Mariah Carey's "Without You," or the guy who sings "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' " to his girlfriend. We've all felt the pain.
You don't have to sing like Al Green to step off the karaoke stage to applause. Many factors, including song selection, come together to determine the outcome of your performance.
_ Pick a song you know the words to, Baker said.
Make sure it fits your vocal range (how high and low the sound goes).
_ Make the song your own. The audience wants to hear your own unique style, not an imitation of someone else, Farthing said.
Researching the song's lyrics and performers can help develop your performance.
_ Practice! True vocal professionals spend hours getting just the right nuance, tuning and stage presence, Farthing said.
_ Avoid large amounts of alcohol before your performance, Baker said. Not only will it dry out your throat, but you'll have a false sense of how good you sound. Instead, have a glass of water to lubricate your throat before your performance, Baker said.
_ Avoid eating half an hour to an hour before singing. When you eat, your stomach creates acid. When you get nervous, you create more acid, and that can irritate your throat, Baker said.
Also, if you are sensitive to diary, avoid milk-based drinks. Milk can create excess mucous and affect singing.
_ Avoid singing the same song that's already been done several times that evening, Baker said.
_ Hold the mic a couple of inches away from your mouth to avoid sound distortion from holding it too close, Baker said. When hitting high notes (which are always louder), pull the mic away slightly.
_ Have fun and don't take yourself too seriously, Baker said.
_ Never let them see you sweat, Farthing said. If you make a mistake, brush it off and go on.
_ Don't forget to take deep breaths during the performance, Farthing said.
The voice is powered by breath.
PRACTICE MAKES, WELL, FUN AT LEAST
Most karaoke bars have thousands of songs to choose from. But for those of you with particular taste, here's a list of Web sites to help you get exactly what you want.
If you're not quite ready to go public with your singing skills, or just want to have fun with your tone-deaf friends in the comfort of your home, try these video games:
"SingStar Rocks!" - The PlayStation 2 title comes with two mics and features songs by rock artists like Coldplay and Fall Out Boy.
"Karaoke Revolution" - Konami's popular series is available for PlayStation 2, Xbox and GameCube, and comes in a number of different forms, including one featuring country music.
An "American Idol" version is set to release in January.---
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