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March 2004

March 2004
Andy Jones  |  by www.upforanything.net. All rights reserved. 3.01 | 16:13

Here is the Mad Lib to which your words will be added (recognize it?), see the results below:
Wrong! Your ____ you keep, and I'll ____ you why.

So that every ____ of every child at seeing your ____ will be yours to cherish, every babe that ____ at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear ____, what is that thing?" will echo in your ____ ____. That is what "to the pain" means.

It means I ____ you in anguish, wallowing in ____ misery, forever.
Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why.

So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means.

It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever.
Wrong! Your baseball you keep, and I'll strike you out why.

So that every woes of every child at seeing your chronicness will be yours to cherish, every babe that loses at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear Jim Thome, what is that thing?" will echo in your weak team. That is what "to the pain" means.

It means I suck you in anguish, wallowing in big-time misery, forever.
Wrong! Your cactus you keep, and I'll scream you why.

So that every tumbleweed of every child at seeing your creaminess will be yours to cherish, every babe that rides at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear Mama Cass, what is that thing?" will echo in your plump guitarist. That is what "to the pain" means.

It means I shave you in anguish, wallowing in medicinal misery, forever.
Wrong! Your drum you keep, and I'll beat you why.

So that every cat of every child at seeing your laziness will be yours to cherish, every babe that jumps at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear CJ, what is that thing?" will echo in your tall volleyball. That is what "to the pain" means.

It means I stretch you in anguish, wallowing in spiky misery, forever.
Wrong! Your donkey you keep, and I'll drink you why.

So that every banana of every child at seeing your raunchiness will be yours to cherish, every babe that urinates at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear Randolph Alouicious Fakken, what is that thing?" will echo in your hairy Mexico. That is what "to the pain" means.

It means I penetrate you in anguish, wallowing in stinky misery, forever.
Wrong! Your ship you keep, and I'll shoot you why.

So that every Slinky of every child at seeing your odiferiousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that yelps at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear Gertrude, what is that thing?" will echo in your laughable pie. That is what "to the pain" means.

It means I fizzle you in anguish, wallowing in hollow misery, forever.
Wrong! Your bacon you keep, and I'll crush you why.

So that every uvula of every child at seeing your horny-ness will be yours to cherish, every babe that squeezes at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear G-Rob, what is that thing?" will echo in your lumpy basketball. That is what "to the pain" means.

It means I seal you in anguish, wallowing in slimy misery, forever.
Wrong! Your cat you keep, and I'll purr you why.

So that every paw of every child at seeing your meow will be yours to cherish, every babe that sleeps at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear Chip, what is that thing?" will echo in your cute fur. That is what "to the pain" means.

It means I preen you in anguish, wallowing in silly misery, forever.
Wrong! Your telephone you keep, and I'll sprint you why.

So that every elephant of every child at seeing your openness will be yours to cherish, every babe that catches at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear Albert Einstein, what is that thing?" will echo in your furry wrist. That is what "to the pain" means.

It means I exfoliate you in anguish, wallowing in silly misery, forever.
Wrong! Your newsman you keep, and I'll perform you why.

So that every weather of every child at seeing your media will be yours to cherish, every babe that smells at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear Orville, what is that thing?" will echo in your extreme forest. That is what "to the pain" means.

It means I shoot you in anguish, wallowing in quiet misery, forever.

It was most unexpected. The crown was supposed to be draped in Kansas blue or Texas burnt orange.

It was to be surrounded by wildcats or blue devils.
That's not what happened. Instead, a child led them.

And the crown was draped in deep Syracuse orange and surrounded by crazy Orangemen.
For almost a full year, I savored that win like none other. Now that time has come to an end.


Last night, my Orangemen fell to the Crimson Tide of Alabama. We fought valiently, but it wasn't quite enough.
In the end, the Tide topped the Orange 80-71.

Hakim Warrick had 15 first half points, but finished with just 21. Gerry McNamara had 20 second half points, but managed just 4 in the first half.
Unfortunately, the two just couldn't get together.

That wasn't the biggest problem, however. 17 turnovers. That was the biggest problem.


During the season, starting point guard Billy Edelin left the team for personal reasons. He was a valuable 6th man during last year's title run and was having an outstanding season this year. When we lost him, our offense was never the same.


I wasn't as upset as I thought I'd be. We made yet another Sweet Sixteen run. A testament to Jim Boeheim's coaching.


And had the child who led us last time still been here, I have a feeling Carmelo Anthony and company would have had a chance to wear that crown again!

I'm never one to disappoint my loyal audience (all four of you). And Chippy suggested I do a fill-in-the-blank list.

So, without further ado, more about me:
I WANT: To win the World Series of Poker.
I HAVE: The best dog in the world.
I FEAR: Being alone (wow, a theme, now I'm getting depressed ;-)
I HEAR: The drone of televisions, scanners and newsroom chatter even in my sleep.


I WONDER: Why I'm already thinking about what's next in my life.
I REGRET: Too much to talk about.
I LOVE: Too many people to mention.


I ALWAYS: Drive a Saturn (although my new company car is a Jeep Grand Cherokee, and it's really nice!).
I DANCE: Rarely, and in those cases, poorly.


I SING: Only when I'm alone (why upset people around me?).
I CRY: Almost never, in fact, I can't remember the last time.

I tend to bottle up my emotions.
So there you go, any surprises?

I know I haven't posted much since I moved to Louisiana.

It's a point Memphis reminded me about last night (oh, I forgot, she hates when I mention her, pretend I didn't type that). When I pointed out I had blogged, she requested something a little more fun.
So here I go.

.. hope you like it.

..
It's probably the first time in history a 5-year old has used the "oregano excuse" when caught with a bag of marijuana.

Of course, this kid actually sprinkled it on some lasagna, so maybe he really was confused.
However, I'm not sure this tops the 4-year old in Indianapolis who brought a bag of "flour" to show his classmates at preschool. Teachers stepped in and took possession of the $10,000 in crack cocaine.

Now that's show and tell!
I'm sure you remember the Miller Light Catfight Ads ( ). One of the stars, Kitana Baker, says a new video ruined her reputation by portraying her as a wresler in an offensive manner.

You might want to read that again. The woman tears off her clothes and wrestles in water with another scantily clad woman in a national television campaign. And this video game ruined her rep!

?!?


Anyone who owns a cat knows they don't listen to a damn thing you say. This special kitten even has four ears, and I'm sure its owners still can't get it to follow directions. The cat is up for adoption, "We want to find Lilly the loving home she deserves.

She is very kind and not a monster." Sorry, don't buy it. All cats are monsters.


And for your own enjoyment, be sure to check out:
And the story guaranteed to make you squirm...


Guess I'll scratch that off my list of things to do while in Athens!

I suppose the title to this post may surprise some of my readers. Others probably believe there's some kind of sarcasm or malice behind this.


That's just not true. Sen. Kerrey is a national treasure.

He demonstrated it today, in front of the world. His words carried such weight they could not be ignored.
He's a politician I've almost always respected, even when we disagreed.

If only more politicians were like him.
Of course, I'm talking about Sen. Bob Kerrey, the former Democratic senator from Nebraska (notice the extra "e" at the end).

He's currently sitting on the 9/11 commission investigating what failings existed that allowed the attacks to happen.
Today, some very familiar faces were paraded in front of the panel. From the Clinton Administration, we heard from Secretary of State Madeline Albright and Secretary of Defense William Cohen and from the Bush Administration, we heard from Secretary of State Colin Powell and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.


Of all the commission members, I was most impressed with Sen. Kerrey. He pulled no punches.

He didn't allow his political leanings affect his strong criticisms of all sides of the political spectrum.
He hammered Albright and Cohen on the impressive amount of inaction in the two years from the attack on the U.S.

embassies in Africa in May 1998 until power was handed over to the Bush Administration in January 2001.
He hammered Powell and Rumsfeld and the apparent lack of focus, planning and action in regards to terrorism in the 200+ days from taking power until the attacks of September 11th.
Here are just some examples.

We'll begin with Sec. Cohen, who suggested that military action against al Qaeda would have been unpopular and hard to sell, "Prior to that time, I dare say there is not a single country that would have been supporting the president of the United States declaring war and invading Afghanistan prior to 9/11. You can disagree with that judgment.

I don't think there was a single country, and I frankly think that Congress would have overwhelmingly rejected it."
Sen. Kerrey responded in very strong terms:

But the fact that it's unpopular, that it's difficult, that our allies are not necessarily with it shouldn't deter a president who believes that what we have is a serial killer on our hands who had begun killing us at least as early as 1993, who had issued a very specific declaration of war calling Islamic men to join an Islamic army on the 23rd of February, 1998, and then demonstrated that he had the capacity in a very sophisticated way on the 7th of August to carry out that threat.

We had a round in our chamber and we didn't use it. That's how I see it. And I don't know if it had prevented 9/11.

But I absolutely do not believe that just because a commander in chief sits there and said, Gee, this thing is unpopular therefore I can't do it, I don't think that's a good argument. I know Secretary Rumsfeld is going to use it here in a few minutes and I'm going to be just as harsh with him. I don't buy it.


Kerrey went after Sec. Powell on the same issue:
It's rare that public opinion is on the side of a president or political leader when it comes to using military force, except after the fact. So, it does seem to me to be in many ways sort of a straw man position to say: Gee it would have been exceptionally difficult.

Yes, it would have been exceptionally difficult. But, history's replete of examples where political leaders made a decision in spite of public opinion being on the other side, and saying, I've got the persuade people because I see it being an urgent necessity.


I don't understand why the military wasn't given a priority and a primary role in the fight against not just terrorism, but the fight against Osama bin Laden.

I mean, I presume you've seen the declaration of war that he released on the 23rd of February, 1998. That was very precise. Again, issued by somebody who had demonstrated not just a willingness to kill Americans, but the capacity to kill Americans.

Kerrey listed the U.S.S.

Cole in October 2000, an attempted attack on the U.S.S.

Sullivan, thwarted millenium attacks in 1999, embassy attacks in 1998 and, the first World Trade Center attack in 1993. Why no response?
If you didn't see the , you missed a lot.

You missed the Clinton people blaming the Bush people and the Bush people blaming the Clinton people. That's to be expected. But you missed a lot more than that.

You missed Bob Kerrey saying what needed to be said, and finding little in the way of good answers.

I had one of the most amazing, emotional experiences two days ago.
I've spent the last few days contemplating, absorbing, and reflecting.

I'm sure you're asking yourself, 'What did you experience that had such a profound effect?'. Something I hope everyone takes 126 minutes of a day to do.

..
I waited a while to see it, having heard that movie-goers were audibly weeping during the film, some patrons even crying out at the screen.

I intentionally avoided the early rush to see the film to keep from having my experience dampered.
Was it really possible for a movie to be so powerful that it could legitimately affect people so deeply, or were they religious fanatics that overreacted or invested way too much into what they were seeing?
The only answer I can provide to this question is my opinion, but I consider myself a competent and extremely experienced movie-goer, having seen hundreds of movies.

(I even watched over a hundred movies in an eight month period while living in Columbus, OH. My roommate and I counted.)
People that know me well, know I have no reservations about showing emotion.

I'm an actor for crying out loud! But those same people know that it takes quite a lot for a movie to deeply move me. I very seldom walk out of a theater speechless, heck, I'm seldom speechlees period.


After two days, it is still very difficult to put into words how Mel Gibson's movie made me feel. I was spellbound..

.. I was was deeply saddened.

.. I was .

.. I was overwhelmed.


I discussed the film with my fiance (she hasn't seen the movie yet as she is still on the high seas working) and she made an interesting comment that really made me think. She said, "I'm sure it was an emotional experience because of your connection with Jesus, but I don't think it would have the same effect on me."
Let me set the record straight: Gibson tells a story here.

The story of a man who knowingly must make an extreme sacrifice. That is the heart of his message..

. not the fact that the central character is said to be the Son of God..

. or that Jews are responsible for Christ's death. His masterful story-telling, brilliant cinematography, and unbelieveable performance by James Caviezel is what makes this movie unforgettable and emotionally stirring.


This is a movie that everyone should see. Am I telling you that it will have the same effect on you? Of course not.

Not everyone will react the same to this film, but if you connect to the story and the characters the same way I did, the same way scores of my friends have, it will be more than worth the time.
I highly recommend this film.

I'm definitely not a blood relation.


My brothers-in-law and my wife have posted their favorites, and when you see mine, I think you'll agree:
5. . OK, so CJ likes it too.

What's not to like? The climax of the movie involves three epic battles, all intertwined. The movie wraps up one of the most popular and revolutionary sagas modern cinema has seen.

Leia in a bikini just cannot be a bad thing. And Luke barely whines.
4.

. The movie is a fantastic story of one of the most colorful characters in the history of warfare. It is honest about both Patton's positive and negative attributes.

And the most amazing thing is, it was intended as an anti-war movie to discourage the further action in Vietnam, and most members of the military love it. The first scene where Patton is talking to his troops about the coming war and what their role will be (where Gibson took his Battle of Sterling speech from for Braveheart, by the way).is a fantastic scene.

And when he destroys Rommel's tanks as he uses his own doctrine against him, I get chills.
3. .

The first 20 minutes of this movie are some of the most harrowing scenes I have ever witnessed. Tom Hanks was robbed of the Oscar that year by James Cameron's Titanic looming in the background. No one can tell me Shakespeare in love was a better picture than this.

Who didn't cry their eyes out as Capt Miller told Private Ryan "Earn this," with his dying breath?
2. .

I still get goose bumps when Colonel Chamberlain says, "We are the flank," to his officers. And they come back when he cries "Bayonets!" The movie is a true epic, with multiple characters, and all of them interesting.

What I like the best is there is no attempt to portray one side as evil and another as good. These are all men who think what they are doing is right.
1.

. OK, so this one is brand spanking new, but it's incredible. I have read the books numerous times in my life, and never did I think that a movie could so capture the book like this one did.

Note I am referring to what many consider a trilogy as one book/movie, which is exactly how it was intended by Tolkein. His editors made him break it up. In any case, this movie had scope, grandeur, and made my heart race more times than I can count.



Well, the comments section to my sister's list of favorite movies has turned into a quote-fest. It's a movie I would never think of for my top 5 or even top 20, but it's a movie I will watch every time it's on.
The cast is perfect.

It's some of the best character actors of the time with a clever script. If you haven't seen it, you should go rent it now.
And if you have seen it, you'll probably enjoy this collection of Clue movie quotes:
Wadsworth: Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry, specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur.


Prof. Plum: Yes, but now I work for the United Nations.
Wadsworth: So, your work has not changed.


Col. Mustard: What exactly do you do?
Wadsworth: The butler is in charge of the kitchen and dining room.

I keep everything tidy.
Wadsworth: The game's up, Scarlet. There are no more bullets left in that gun.


Miss Scarlet: Oh, come on. You don't think I'm gonna fall for that old trick?
Wadsworth: It's not a trick.

There was one shot at Mr. Boddy in the study, two for the chandelier, two at the lounge door, and one for the singing telegram.
Miss Scarlet: That's not six.


Wadsworth: One plus two plus two plus one.
Miss Scarlet: Un uh, there was only one shot that got the chandelier, that's one plus two plus one plus one.
Wadsworth: Even if you're right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not "one plus two plus one plus one.

"
Mrs. White: Yes, I did it. I killed Yvette.

I hated her so much! It, it, the, it, flames, flames, flames . .

. on the side of my face. Breathing, breathless, heaving breaths, heaving .

. .
Col.

Mustard: Wadsworth, am I right in thinking that there is nobody else in this house?
Col. Mustard: Then there is someone else in this house?


Wadsworth: No, sorry, I said "no" meaning "yes."
Col. Mustard: "No" meaning "yes"?

Look, I want a straight answer, is there someone else or isn't there, yes or no?
Wadsworth: Um, no.
Col.

Mustard: No, there is, or no, there isn't?
Mrs. White: Husbands should be like Klenex--soft, strong, and disposable.


Mrs. White: He had threatened to kill me in public.
Miss Scarlet: Why would he want to kill you in public?


Wadsworth: I think she meant, he threatened, in public, to kill her.
Quotes are selected from a wonderful website, . For many of these quotes you can find a .

wav file there, so go give them a listen!

Perhaps it's fitting that it will all begin one day after a holiday known for its drunken madness.
It's a time of year that always lives up to expections.


March Madness is here.
Unfortunately, there's no way this year could top last year. My Orangemen will soon give up their crown.

There is no Carmelo Anthony to carry us to a title.
And for purely entertainment purposes only, I present my picks for this year's Big Dance..

.
Syracuse, Connecticut
Kentucky, Oklahoma St., Duke, Connecticut
Kentucky, Connecticut
I'm sure Spain has some kind of law that restricts voting to national citizens.

Unfortunately, we came to learn that a few Moroccans and Algerians (allegedly) provided the votes that mattered most.
Three days before national elections, terrorists detonated a series of bombs on the crowded railway system killing 201 people and injuring more than 1500.
Despite what seemed like a show of unity against terrorism by thousands and thousands of demonstrators, election day brought sweeping changes to the political landscape of Spain.

Now those more likely to disengage from the war on terror are in control.
Will someone exercise a similar "vote" in America in just a few months?
Perhaps it's too much to suggest that the will of the people changed after that event, but imagine if we had held a national election on September 14th, 2001?


At the least, the result has given terrorists reason to believe they can affect the political landscape. As the November election nears, we'd be naive to think terrorists wouldn't try the same thing here.
And I don't mean this to sound crass, but would a terrorist attack near the election be a terrorist vote for John Kerry?


I don't think there's any question that a John Kery administration would be much less aggressive in the war on terror. In fact, . Would al Qaida rather have a president willing to hunt them down and kill them, or a president hoping to stop them at our ports?


I shudder to think that the attacks in Spain are a sign of things to come, but it's possible. And it's even more reason for the world to strengthen its resolve and take the fight to the terrorists. It's a fight we can't afford to lose or give up on.



If One of Us is Adopted...

...

it must be me. You guys are nowhere near my choices, for which I make no apologies. Just remember: if you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the question.

Read 'em and cringe...


5. : the only Richard Dreyfuss movie I've ever loved. Anyone who ever had a music teacher who was incredibly special will understand why this movie is on my top 5--in memory of David Crosby, marching band director at William Penn Senior High School.


4. : Oh, Captain, My Captain! Having attended a school that was very strong on conformity, it's hard not to relate to a movie about living life to the fullest and in your own way.

Robin Williams is simply masterful. Carpe Diem!
3.

: frankly, it's a d@$% shame that I'm the one posting this, and not the guy who claims the four sweetest words he's ever heard is "Pitchers and Catchers Report." (And forget the weak excuse that it's on your top 20, CJ.) I've never lived and died by a baseball team, and yet I'm touched every time when Terrence Mann (James Earl Jones) says: "Ray.

..people will come, Ray.

..The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball.

..This field, this game is part of our past, Ray.

..People will most definitely come.

"
[Side note: I don't have Mann's words memorized, so I popped the movie in to get the right lines. Several scenes later I realized I had to get back up here before my ISP booted me off. If that's not the mark of a great film, I don't know what is.

]
2. : I know what you're thinking: "Clue? Isn't that a comedy?

" Darn right it's a comedy! As many times as I've seen it, I still cry with laughter at certain scenes. It's even still funny when quoted--while some funny lines tarnish with age, these just become more polished.

C'mon--Tim Curry, the great Madeline Kahn, Christopher Lloyd? "Is there someone else in the house or isn't there, yes or no?"
1.

: before you write this one off as a chick flick, I'll have you know that my husband drug me to see it, with me kicking and screaming all the way. It's just a compelling story from beginning to end. And for the "chicks," there isn't a straight woman out there who has not wanted a man to look at her the way Colonel Brandon (Alan Rickman) looks at Marianne Dashwood (Kate Winslet) the first time he sees her.


And that'll close out the H*** Top Fives.

That's the only reason I can come up with for CJ's pathetic top 5 list.
Not only did he misorder some of the films, but.

..
.

.. he flat out picked the wrong movies from trilogy groups.


Let's be honest, though, we are picking our own top 5 list, so it's difficult to argue over such a subjective topic.
So here you go, my top 5:
5. (come on, people!

you know d*@n well you'll stop on TNT to watch it no matter what else you were viewing, especially if it's at the part where they walk into the lobby on their way to save Morpheus.)
4. (It brought back the age of the musical film.

We were stunned that Ewan and Nicole could sing and Baz Luhrman (Strickly Ballroom , Romeo and Juliet) is completely underrated as a director. I also have to confess this is partly a sentimental selection. It was the movie I saw on the first date with my fiance.

.. ahh.

.. love and splendor.

)
3. (the turning point of the trilogy..

. more action, lots of discovery, and Luke doesn't whine at all)
2. (Casino, Goodfellas, The Sopranos, Godfather II, Godfather III.

.. we never would have seen these if it wasn't for the original.

Brilliant film-making, phenomenal acting, classic music. Another movie you can't help but stop and watch.)
1.

(Best picture/director winner; tragedy not one acting nomination)
Life is Beautiful (I don't want people to think I only choose American films. This movie was absolutely brilliant, but not necessarily a film you want to watch over and over again..

. kinda like Schindler's List: powerful, but hard to watch.)
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (it's hard to believe that in a trilogy of films, they actually get better as they went!

)
Die Hard (one of the best action films EVER made.. "Yippy kiya .

.. you know the rest.

)
Any M. Knight Shyamalan movie: Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and Signs (Gotta love his plot twists..

.)
I now pass the gauntlet to sis..

. although I cringe at the thought of what she might post.
Just about everything in life is subjective.

However, while I'm usually right, my brother and sister are usually wrong. That is not subjective, it's just the way it is.
With that said, I'll present my 5 favorite movies of all-time and challenge my brother and sister to list their own wrong selections.


Without further ado...

there they are...

(in reverse order).
Hi, it's me again. Have you missed me?

(Not likely, but that's okay.) The new job is going well. I don't yet have a home.

I'm living at a hotel and my dog is in a kennel. I'm hoping to have a new place by Saturday at the latest.
What else?

Louisiana is nice. I appeared in a column of (It's not the main newspaper, but some kind of insert or weekly, maybe like the Metro Pulse). The article isn't available online, but here's a taste:

A young journalist from Knoxville, Tenn.

, takes over March 10 as news director at TV10. Twentysomething C.J.

H*** will step into the role previously filled by Dee Stanley...

On a personal Web page purportedly produced by H***, the news director expresses his elation at having been selected for the post at such a young age. H***, who left a producing job at a Knoxville station, has signed a two-year contract with KLFY, according to the site. H*** graduated from college in 1998, and appears to have a passion for sports and politics.


A couple of thoughts on this...

when the person who wrote this googled me and wound up at my humble little site, they could have easily clicked on CJ and sent me an e-mail. (That feature has been disabled for other reasons, but was active at that time). Why make it sound so clandestined?


And, to be accurate, I left an executive producing job in Knoxville. Don't want to sell myself short!
Anyway, I guess this is what I get for taking the job.

I never thought I'd wind up in some gossip column. Maybe next time, they'll just call me! I'm an open book.

.. and always happy to talk.



The Sport of Kings or Barbarians?

Monday evening, a man in Vancouver was brutally assaulted in a premeditated attack. Another man came up behind him and punched him on the side of the head, then drove his head into the ground and landed on top of him.

His victim suffered a concussion, deep lacerations to his face, and most seriously, a broken neck that came within centimeters of paralyzing him.

Read more on by www.upforanything.net. All rights reserved.
Keywords: Bob Kerrey, Carmelo Anthony, Bush Administration
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