Alfonso Cuar o n's latest film imagines a future in which the human race becomes infertile. What? Does that mean no more future Wayanses?
How will this world survive? The last time a film had this much awesome cleavage in its ad campaign was the 1991 Jennifer Connelly movie 'Career Opportunititties,' uh, sorry, 'Career Opportunities.' Robert De Niro's latest directorial effort is about the birth of the CIA.
Coming soon: a movie about J. Edgar Hoover and the early days of the FBI. It'll be called 'The Good She-Male.
' The title is Spanish for 'to drive a boxy Swedish car.' Starring Matthew 'Who's up for naked bongo drumming?' McConaughey and Matthew 'Who's up for skinny-dipping?
' Fox. The rise and fall of the Supremes, uh, the '60s girl group the Dreams. And now, opening weekend crowd predictions, brought to you by Metroactive.
'Dreamgirls': Beyonc e fans and gay guys. 'Eragon': mostly thirtysomething D D nerds and their moms, who had to give them a ride to the theater. Christopher Guest and his repertory company poke fun at the Oscar season media frenzy and annoying entertainment reporters like Billy Bush, who's as much of a journalist as his cousin Dubya is a president.
A guy we were having lunch with once thought he saw Jesus' face on his Taco Bell chalupa. It didn't even look like Christ. It looked more like Rob Zombie with a harelip.
Unfortunately, the debate over whom it looked like ended abruptly when the guy died from the chalupa. If what the Republicans meant by the need for more family entertainment was a buttload of these lame CG animal movies, then we're all the more glad the Democrats pwned their asses on Super Midterm Tuesday. The popular prep-school drama graduates from Broadway to the big screen.
The polymaths in 'The History Boys' would make for great newspaper fact checkers, or as the new owners of the San Jose Mercury News would prefer to call them, fired. Dame Helen Mirren received a five-minute standing ovation at the Venice Film Festival for her performance in this film. Meanwhile, Screech from 'Saved by the Bell' received a free five-minute lapdance for his performance in the Screech sex video.
The next sequel should pit Rocky against Rambo a la 'Freddy vs. Jason.' Two times the action!
Two times the mumbling! It would end up being the first 'Rocky' flick done entirely with subtitles. The 'Santa Clause' series apparently comes to a close.
It's too bad Disney didn't consider our script idea for the final 'Santa Clause,' in which the axe murderer Santa from 'Silent Night, Deadly Night' pays the North Pole a visit and gives the series a proper bloody sendoff. This doc looks back at the country music community's feud with the Dixie Chicks. The Chicks responded to the haters by posing nude on the cover of 'Entertainment Weekly.
' Good thing that cover didn't inspire other recording artists to doff their clothes during heated feuds with their rivals. Because Jay-Z dropping his pants as an olive branch to Nas wouldn't have been as nice to look at. Will Ferrell does his first-ever comedy drama.
Meanwhile, behind the counter at a Tommy's in Van Nuys, Chris Kattan does his first-ever 'Would you like fries with that?' Talking Pix talks kustom kars, pintstriping and Ed 'Big Daddy' Roth with Petaluma artist. Larry Kirwan of Black 47 on why he won't be seeing Oliver Stone's 'World Trade Center.
' What would an actual demon say about the new 'Omen' remake? The cinema of 2006 celebrated lies and lying liars would we lie to you about the year's best?
Giving some greats their due.
Autobots, roll out! Herzog vs. Coppola: Bet on 'Fitz.
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