With the year drawing to a close Insider's music columinist reflects on the last 12 months.
OF late, this sad-eyed pop sensation has taken to hitting the town sans underwear. All well and good, until she alights from her car, legs akimbo, thus providing the paparazzi with a photo they won't soon forget.
Sister, way too much information.
WITHOUT taking a pair of scissors to Flynn and Stockdale's eye-popping hairdos, it's difficult to find a clear winner here. Stockdale's afro is undoubtedly taller than Flynn's mop, however the latter boasts a wider, deeper mane.
The judges have conferred - dead heat.
WHAT your Insider music columnist knows about fashion could be written on a pea, but I do know there's something wrong with pop performers wearing scarves. Popularised in the 1970s by Rod Stewart and Aerosmith's Steve Tyler, the scarf is back, no thanks to Perth try-hards Eskimo Joe.
Jet and Mia Dyson also have a taste for this apparel, which is not helping the situation.
The Show Me The Money Award
Winner: The Metro
READERS of this newspaper were the first to learn that iconic Sydney venue The Metro was in such financial turmoil that it hadn't paid bands for gigs. Those out of pocket included The Whitlams, The Veronicas and Alex Lloyd.
The Metro has since been taken over by new management.
NAMED in honour of cricketer Dean Jones, who ralphed repeatedly while batting in a Test match in India 20 years ago. Sir Elton receives the gong for spewing during a recent Brisbane concert.
Thankfully, he waddled off stage before exploding.
IN just three weeks Birmingham's new album, Boned!, has been certified quadruple platinum, meaning retailers have ordered more than 280,000 copies.
With a wholesale price of roughly $20 a copy, this equates to a tasty earn of about $5.6 million for Birmingham's label, EMI.
Stupidest Band
Winner: The Vee Bees
CANBERRA'S Vee Bees sing about beer, barbecues, bonking and Byron Bay hippies.
Their songs include Drive Thru Bottlo, Beer O'Clock and Whaddya Reckon About Me Ute. Brilliant! The four-piece describe their genre as neanderthal music created for like-minded individuals''.
The So Long, Farewell Award
Winner: Greg Page, the yellow Wiggle
THE Wiggle's true impact on popular culture will be gauged in coming years, as the first generation of post-Wiggle teenagers start to form bands and write songs. Ill-health forced yellow Wiggle Greg Page, the group's lead singer and magician, to quit last month. He will be missed.
Worst Album
Winner: The Mars Volta's Amputechture
A LOT of lame music has been released this year, but little, if any, is quite as unlistenable as The Mars Volta's overblown Amputechture, which makes Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music sound like The Archies. Surely they are having a lend?
THE Sleepy Jackson's latest was nominated for ARIAs Album Of The Year, but never stood a chance against Bernard Fanning's multi-platinum Tea Sympathy.
Unless a miracle occurs in the next few months, Personality looks like floating off into the horizon, barely having made a ripple.
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