Dear Amy: When our 10-year-old niece visits, she brings her small soccer ball and will kick it around our house. She will use the open stairway as a goal. She kicks it hard enough to hit the wall on the landing, then calls that a score.
I have spoken to my husband about saying something to his sister and her husband, and he doesn't want to cause hurt feelings. They are quite protective of their daughter, and he thinks they would feel as if we are being too picky or hard. If the parents don't mind having things broken as a result of the ball being kicked around their home, then so be it, but to me it is wrong to allow it in other people's homes.
How would you handle this, Amy? "Hey Clara! At our house, we play soccer outdoors!
Get on your coat and let's go." Then I'd lead her outdoors and show her the garage door or the side of the house, or whatever surface can best absorb a soccer ball. And I'd hang out with her for a while as she showed me her best soccer stuff.
This does not rise to the level of talking to parents and worrying about hurt feelings. This rises to the level of the homeowner saying, "Please stop it, honey." That's just common sense, right?
You and your husband should do everything you can to provide a safe and fun environment for your niece to enjoy during her visits. If she is active and engaged, she won't be dribbling in the living room. She would also develop the sort of relationship with her aunt and uncle in which everyone can be normal and natural and have a good time.
Dear Amy: I have a great friend, "Lila." Unfortunately, Lila has a friend, "Haley," who doesn't like me. I don't know that much about the things she likes to talk about, which means I'm usually on the outer circle of the friends, and Lila, whom I want to be with, is in the middle.
What should I do? If I try to shove myself to the center of the circle, I get pushed out. I have other friends, but I really want to spend time with Lila.
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