I've returned from the left coast rested and happy and all that good stuff. Now, to business.
Finally awake and out of her Cheeto (I think even in the singular form Cheeto is trademarked) inspired coma, Britney Spears is trying to save her career.
To reclaim her fame, and not the fame that comes from her being completely disgusting (see below) -
- all she had to do was perform the same simple surgery that Enrique Iglesias had on his mole: she simply needed to remove Kevin Federline from her grill.
Well apparently the barefoot-bathroomer herself has decided to do just that, filing papers for divorce this week. Of course, her music still sucks, but I remember her being interesting to look at a long time ago, so maybe we'll get some more of that.
Oh yeah, and apparently Kevin found out about the divorce in a text message.
Sweet.
In other career saving moves, well potentially that is (and on second though, probably not at all), Michael Jackson plans on the famed song 'Thriller' live. Its about freakin' time.
Pretty much all he had to do to save his career was keep feeding cheesy pop songs to the listening public...
Well that and he had to stop hanging out with children. And he had to stop being so damn weird. And he would probably need a nose.
Noses make people seem more, well, human.
The elections have come and gone - hooray! (This message was paid for by 'a group of american citizens against political television advertising 2006')
Heres a little something for my cousin Mike, who is the man:
Like any person with the same amount of pr skills as a monkey, Faith Hill is saying the cameras that caught her screaming as she lost an award at the Country Music Awards actually caught her Yeah, right.
Judge for yourself:
Heres the monkey, which in reality, has more pr skills than most:
IF YOU READ ANYTHING ON THIS PAGE, READ THIS: In what promises to be the most mind-boggingly cool but weird casting decision ever, Christopher Walken, yes, the Christopher Walken, is set to cameo in the movie 'The Dirt' as Ozzy Osbourne.
He wont be in it for long, but regardless of whatever that movie is about I want to see it. I'd watch a movie on the animated history of Dippin' Dots and I still wouldn't care as long as it has Christopher Walken doing something bizarre in it. Ozzy = bizarre.
For the record, the film is based on Motley Crue's band-ography book that came out a few years back. The only Ozzy reference in there that I'm aware of was the time when he snorted a line of ants for the hell of it. Snorting ants would make Christopher Walken really cool, I swear.
Christopher Walken. Nobody goes by Christopher. Its always just Chris.
The only two to use it are Christopher Walken and Christopher Robin. Christopher Walken would kick his ass any day (except Sundays - Christopher Walken likes to rest on sun..
...
...
..days)
Finally, including this upcoming time (and not including the label at the bottom of the post) I will have written the name Christopher Walken nine times.
Nine times.
the end.
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