the last two fridays have been good to me, normally I hate fridays.
and the next few days are gearin' to be quite fun to!
Ah the future! But what am I going to do now? finish typing this and then.
...
well sir/m'am I don't know if I know that yet...
I'm sure if it's worth writing about one of you's will hear about it someday! But for now it's a hour or two or time I can spend however before I go to bed! Why bed in the future?
because I only had one can of sparks today pretty low on the caffine content I normally consume (and I feel less crazy cause of it to!)
It makes me crazy when I just want to be happy and have fun and be easy going. I should guess that everything dealing with that has some kinks or others and isn't always ment to work out
I got Rushed out of my house fast before I left so I forgot my camera so no pictures.
It was a fun night though I had to get up early to drive back from Allston to Lexington to give grandma the car so she could go to work.
Texas Kelly also kissed me on the cheek, I don't really know why though (he was at the show as well)
I also fell on my ass trying to jumpkick two people at once and my wrist and elbow are kinda fucked up.
It's unfortunate I had to get out of bed with Lix tonight. With all the action and fun and stuff, I'm actually sitting at home feeling empty and well.
...
kinda shitty and not the kind I can just forget by doing something to distract me or going out, it's a deep rooted sadness.
That and ripping CD's Splean lent me Jucifer, Rocket from the Tombs, Crass - Christ the album, Atari Teenage Riot, 2 early cure albums, some black metal band etc etc.
Stu from Zombie Ghost Train thought Cannibal Corpse was a black metal band when I was heckleing them about how they were the best black metal band ever, apparently he dosn't know his metal what kind of psychobilly is he?
(apparently in Austraillia they didn't all start out as huge metalheads) they played a good set but they need a theramin player up their like on their album!
I wouldn't mind playing theramin single not melodic instument it would probably be allot easier for me to figure out than guitar in the long run and I could be all gothic and spooky about it (and also fit into the classical music crowd)
oh and from everywhere I've been Salem has the Cheapest liquor stores of ANYWHERE, sparks cost $1.55 Evil eye is under two dollars and the average prive of a 40 ounce is $1.
60 not to mention that for a city not exactly in Boston it seems to have more bands I like passing through than actually in the city! and that ain't shit! though Vidka seems pretty upset about the fact I'd want to go back.
He also says I should go to Cony Island with him on X-mas break and take firebreathing lessons with him...
..
and Lix is a nice girl she bought me booze and a ZGT t-shirt and its wonderful to see her happy, too bad girls like her make my brain want to leak through my ears sometimes, but thats due to my own neroticisim oh well.
And there is more but that still is that is that that for now.
Joy for Christmas season! Joy for suicide - Happy December 1st
The problem is the little crack on the bottom of the headstock that I was worried about is now a huge fucking crack, I'm quite sure this fucks up the tuning and fret bord intontion quite a bit AND the pressure the strings put on it will just cause it to crack and break further. So I quickly loosened all the strings and survayed the damage.
Good thing I never planned on selling this guitar because I'm sure if it had any resale value left (I'm really hard on all my things AND it was my first and pretty much only guitar I could always call my own, so it has allot of scratches and dents, it's well loved in the sense that anything I own that I tend to use allot will get the crap beaten out of it.
The plus side is it's a gibson les paul stuido goth, which are not being made anymore, so if I managed to keep it in real good shape it could have ended up being worth more than I bought it for (well I got it for a huge discount anyway at the time so it defenately could have been) but alas the damge i've inflicted on it gives it more commitment toward me I'd never want to sell it for the low resell value it is. I suppose if I ever had the idea to put some custom art on it or do anything fancy with it I could, but I like it the way it is just flat black.
The point is that it looks like I'm gonna have to get up sometime in the daytime and drive into Cambridge and be prepared to shell out quite a bit of money to see if it can get fixed, I looked online and it just looks like you need a clamp and some woodglue, so I'm sure it will live through this.
I guess I'm just bummed out a bit by all this. Yesterday I almost caused a serious car accident with me Vs. Sand barrels blocking off a highway rest stop (They close them all unless there are businesses like Mc Donalds there these days, so fucking what if gay guys are known to blow each other at them, I don't see what the problem is, yet apparently it's still news and worth closing the stops for, I'm quite sure getting a random blow job is what some people could use when they need a break from driving.
Anyway that was yesterday today I cracked my guitar again, majorly. I'm getting my glasses tommorw hopefully that will be a major potential moneyspending fuckup free day.
I really want to bitch and complain but I don't feel people need to hear it, Although I don't like show myself for anyone other than I am, I think this kind of genral thinking is why I get so confused about everything, I pull myself apart before I can even start.
I relize my idealism dosn't always match my attitude, I think some clarity of mind would be nice these days. I'd love to be sure of something. My busted guita headstock, with a crack running right up it.
Splean Frankensplean: METAL!!
!1!
I'm not sure but we can admire them for just saying whatever is on their heads when it's all something we wish we had the guts to say or something really ballsy, but could it be that many of these people just can't keep a thought in their head if it kills them? I'm not sure I just know if I keep thinking something anything especially if I think it's important it's gonna be said, maybe not in the right place or perhaps it'll get written down in a journal where nobody see's it and it's forgotten but it's gonna be said eventually, it just takes awhile for me to maul over it and process it first. But that is me.
OR they could just be really ballsy truthful OR confrontational bastards. The more I think the more I say I just wish I wasn't so bogged down with trivial shit all the time.
that is that is that that that that
..IT FINALLY HAPPENED !
..THOSE CREEPS AT THE BORDER FINALLY CAUGHT ME NOW I'M BANNED FROM THE STATES FOR 5 YEARS!
!
now, i go get drunk..
." I suppose now if I ever want to see him I gotta drive to Montreal hahaha.
I also have Some new and olfer Kominas gigs that I mean to post as well as some other crap but my photobucket uploader is giving me allot of shit (I think it in part dure to my dhitty shitty interent connection I get in my room) anyway I spend an hour trying to fix all the crap tonight so I could Post. Especally since Basim called me up and asked me to post pictures I got of the Kominas / Genders gig on Tuesday at the Abby Lounge, but that Just can't be done tonight as I have to go to bed. PErhaps I'll be able to figure it out later.
Anyway this is a much requested old old photo I never got around to posting which I'm leaving you with it's NWS and in bad taste (also and OLD kinda inside joke) but outside of that I feel no other need to explain it.)
( )
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3.
Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6.
Don't lie and try to pretend your cool...
just type it in man!
Opening Credits:
Waking Up: Dead Kennedys - Let's Lynch the Landlord
First Day At School: Necromantix - Hellstreet
Falling In Love: Johnny Cash - Big River (abd the tears i've cried for that women are gonna flood you big river and I'm gonna sit here till I die!" FUck my life is depressing so far.
Losing Virginity: Chuck Berry - Guitar Boogie (hey it's olf school rock and roll and I tend to not actully talk much during sex and I jabber most every other time go figure an instumental track.)
Fight Song: The Cramps - Can your Pussy Do the Dog (I think it works it's trying to be intimidating a bit.)
Breaking Up: Ex Voto - Anything (Damned Cover) ".
..cause anything.
. anything is better than this." "I am the wicked boy who takes your favorate toy"
Prom: Count Five - Psychotic Reaction
Life: Phantom Limbs - How Calm you Are
Mental Breakdown: Rob Zombie - Transylvanian Transmissions
Driving: Zombina and the Skeletones - Island of Zombina (A speedy little surf instumental seems appropriate)
Flashback: Gein the Gravetobers - Creepsourse (more instumental surf)
Getting Back Together: Nouvelle Vague Pride (in the name of love) (damn you purp!
The breakup dosn't make me sick but getting back to gether certainly does, and I hate it and I hate U2)
Wedding: The Cramps - I'm Cramped (love dosn't work out for me much)
Birth of Child: The Tall Boys - Action Women
Final Battle: The Damned - Thrill Kill "We're Just having some fun playin' round with a gun...
don't get excited"
Death Scene: The Ramones - The Return of Jackie and Judy ( Damn Love sucks but death is so upbeat and catchy
But I can't stand to see her cryin'
She's still cryin', she ain't tryin'
She's going to get left behind
Nobody wants you, nobody wants you
The Problem here is that this song is about two girls who's pans go aray and they end up getting left behind. with those closing Lyrics. Pretty symbolic i'd say.
Funeral Song: Tiger Army - Trance
End Credits: Black Sabbath = Solitude (Love sucks seeing others misery iis more upbeat then my own life (or whatever Sadistix intents I have) and then it ends up with Solitiude a haunting song about loss but mostly quiet and one of the gloomier sadder Sabbath songs. based on everything else this is probably where I get put in Solitary Confinement in Prision and die there.
But I also feel like I don't see many things for what they are.
I think some certain people are very wondewrful to me and I'm never sure if I'm showing enough gratitude.
but I also find it harder to just be me and do the things I'm vocal about.
Yet allot of my alone or free time I feel too tired or am genrally angrier than I am normallym sometimes I think I save my angry moments for myself when reviewing my life and trying to sort shit out.
I genrally feel like a bad person, and I have allot of strange guilt.
But I know I'm not bad and I give so much of this guilt to myself, I mostly feel most guilty about being lazy, if not toward other people defenately myself, that and I blame myself for so much.
Thats it nobody needed to know, I'm gonna eat dinner and go to bed now, really thinking abou tmy life I should be really happy, but sometimes happy things make me sad and even more so I feel like I'm just giving up control of my life (not that I feel like I've ever had much of it, I should relize that really, I do, I only wouldn't if i gave it up.
I don't doubt that I'm getting nuttier and nuttier, it's obvious I can't just get through life happy I really need things to work for and look forward to as well as just as much worth talking about.
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