Velvet Underground's "Squeeze" Ready to Download, plus Pitchfork ca Change, MTV Anniversary, Willie Nelson Defends the Chicks, Hip-Hop at the Smithson

• Download the Velvet Underground's (more like the Doug Yulederground) Squeeze . Read about it .
• Pitchfork is under the delusion that in popular culture.

• I missed this story the other day: MTV is somehow on its 25th anniversary Tuesday. But they'll start right back up again on Wednesday.
• Willie Nelson thinks I must report this to my pastor at the local megachurch right away so we can start the boycott.

• Be sure to check out the .

John Lennon: Baby You're an Enriched Man, plus Reuters Puts Buzzocks on the Map, Owen Wilson Jabs Back, NOW Now, Freevolver

• Editors ask themselves what an unheard live track of John Lennon would do for a documentary about his problems with the U.

  S. government. The answer: .

• Reuters has decided that the Buzzcocks are . They didn't have to convince me, but it they had had to convince me, I'd be convinced.
• Owen Wilson .

  I love a good fake controversy about a movie nobody liked much and a song that no one heard much.

• NOW that's what I call a way to !
• Someone has put together a .

  It's 130 pages! Hooray for Creative Commons.
  

Prince Gets Divorce, plus James Brown Suit, Daltrey and Townsend at It Again, New York Dolls in "Rashomon," Toots and the Maytals Do Radiohead

• Prince is . The funkiest, sexiest divorce you've ever seen.
• James Brown, the only man who could have a funkier divorce than Prince, is than he was.

  But the most important development is that Brown did not say, "I feel good' at any point in the article about the suit in the New York Post, opting instead for, "No matter what happens," he added, I'll still be the hardest-working man in show business."

• Roger Daltrey and Pete Townsend are in a . Somebody needs to take away Townsend's web access.

  Doesn't the Who have an IT guy who can make him "read only"?

• David Johansen says it was drugs that . But Sylvain Sylvain says it was because Johansen got the goldmine and the Dolls got the shaft.

• Finally, why not go to iTunes and buy by Radiohead? I and I will!
  

Robert Pollard Goes British Pop, plus Twyla Tweaks Dylan Musical, Metallica on iTunes, Morrissey Called Names, Robert Johnson's Guitar for Sale

• Robert Pollard's will feature 16 two-minute pop songs. Plus, his British accent is back!
• Twyla Tharp figured out what her was missing: Billy Joel.

• Metallica cave and let . I'm sorry, but the Metallica magic went away for me during that Napster business. Too bad, too, because I sure loved Master of Puppets.

• Surprisingly, doesn't like being called a "puffed-up-prat" or a "vain glorious strutting humbug." Maybe not, but either would be a good title for his next record.
• If you're want Robert Johnson's guitar, it's .

  You'll find it at thecrossroads.com. The price?

  Your soul...

Unreleased Hendrix up for Auction, plus Lou Reed Bootleg, Tom Petty Mulls, Journey Is Repackaged, Robert Christgau Thinks It's Neat to Be Nuts

• You can get your very own at an upcoming auction. The related article helpfully explains how he died, by the way, as if that had some bearing on the auction.

• mom had never heard "Walk on the Wild Side" until 1998. Plus, he has reviewed a Lou Reed bootleg.
• Tom Petty is .

  I didn't even know he was having first thoughts.

• A lot of Journey records , so if you ever thought about going back to high school to finish your degree, now's the time.
• Robert Christgau thinks we care that .

  Here's a bit of how stupid the article is: "The main reason I conceived this project, which many considered nuts, was that I wasn't liking enough new guitar bands. So my professional purpose was to encounter young musicians in their natural habitat." Oooh, how nuts you are!

  A music critic going to see rock shows! That's just nuts! Nuts!

  
  

Brian Eno Still Smart, plus R.E.

M. IRS Anthology, Rod Stewart Rocks Again, Asia to Tour, No Kinks for Yo La Tengo

• There is an interview with Brian Eno in . The upshot is that he will always be much smarter than everyone else.

• R.E.M.

  is going to release a of their IRS music and a DVD with live performances and videos. Sign me up!

• Rod Stewart knows that anything he does is going to sell zillions of copies, so he figured for a while?

• And now you find yourself in 2006: The are going out on tour.
• That's not Yo La Tengo doing " ," in case you were wondering.

Bob Dylan Owes the Scots, plus Steely Dan v. Owen Wilson, Depeche Mode Cancels Concert, Pete Townsend's Girlfriend Is Delusional, Zune the iPod Killer

• Apparently, Bob Dylan is . If it's not Scottish, it's Overt!

• Steely Dan for You, Me and Dupree. Advanced.
• The Portuguese have been a Depeche Mode concert.

  Send letters of thanks to the promoters, Brand New Day.

• Pete Townsend's girlfriend says that her because she's Pete Townsend's girlfriend. If only she had known before she started dating him!

• Wired is calling Microsoft's "iPod killer" , but I think they've just misunderstood what's happening. The deal is that Bill Gates said that he got a "killer iPod" for his birthday.

Bob Dylan's Album Leak, plus Tom Waits Hates Online Auctions, Ringo Starr on Ringo Starr, Walter Becker on Rock, Bunny Wailer the Explorer

• Sony accidentally mad available new album at their music store. Luckily, nobody uses the Sony music store, so no harm done.
• If you're a and you want to see Tom Waits, you're out of luck.

• See what about the ninth All-Star tour, drum solos, being in a band, and some other stuff.
• "Why did we come here? We came here to rock!

  " - (sadly for his Advanced status, he was joking)

• Now here's a switch: Bunny Wailer is and explore "hip-hop, R B, rap, you name it." I wonder if he wants revenge for all of those misguided attempts by pop stars to explore reggae.

I've been thinking about what makes "serious" rock criticism so ridiculous, and here's what I've come up with so far: All critics have the task of explaining what a work of art means and whether that meaning has any value, so how do they go about this?

• One work may have a simple message and another may have a complex message;
• some critics have a simple interpretation of a work and some have a complex interpretation;
• some critics use simple language to explain their simple interpretation of a simple work;
• some use simple language to explain their simple interpretation of a complex work;
• some use simple language to explain their complex interpretation of a simple work;
• some use complex language to explain their complex interpretation of a simple work;
• some use complex language to explain their simple interpretation of a complex work;
• some use simple language to explain their complex interpretation of a complex work;
• and some use complex language to explain their simple interpretation of a simple work.

And since all you ever need to say about rock and roll (most of the time) is "it rocks me" or "it doesn't rock me," it's very silly when serious rock critics choose the complex-simple-simple instead of simple-simple-simple.

(When I say simple, that is not necessarily a bad thing. Simple can still profound.)

Radiohead Go Reggae, plus Ozzy Doesn't Need a Label, iPods and Street Crime, Andy Summers and Danny Devito, the UnWho

• A ? I and I can't wait!
• Ever the innovator, Ozzy Osbourne after his current one with Epic expires because he says he's a big enough star not to need a label.

  Actually, Sharon said that while Ozzy shook his head in confused agreement.

• In the UK, iPods are . Be careful out there.

  ..

• Andy Summers is : He has an autobiography, a photo book, an album with Ben Verdery, and my favorite, scoring an upcoming "star vehicle for Danny Devito.

  " By the way, the Taxi theme song is one of the greatest pieces of music of all time.

• I find it slightly depressing that the Who . Then again I'm relieved they didn't think up "Uncut.

  Uncensored. Unrepentant."

Zoo TV on DVD, plus Kenny Rogers on DVD, George Jones' Restaurant, Keith Richards Pardoned, Elvis Costello Honored

• U2 is releasing on DVD. Did I ever mention that I saw Rattle and Hum in the movie theaters? They tell me it's bad, but I sure remember enjoying it.

• Speaking of long-overdue DVDs, Kenny Rogers finally gets a career retrospective, called . So don't take your love to town without coming back with this DVD!
• George Jones is .

  Sounds good, but I don't know what he's going to do when an employee calls in sick too many times.

• The governor of Arkansas is going to for a reckless-driver charge from a long time ago. I don't know.

  This sounds like one of those deals where they trick people who have broken parole and deadbeat dads to turn themselves in with a fake boat giveaway (as seen on TV's Dateline). Don't fall for it, Keith!

• Elvis Costello was honored the other night by VH1.

  Part of the honor was to get to sing "Alison" with Green Day's Billy Joe. ! (Actually, go to Stereogum, then click the link, then watch it.

  )
  

Jimmy Buffet at Wrigley, plus Thom Yorke Vies for the Prize, Save the Children, Record Stores Are Dying, Deep Purple Are Brave

• Jimmy Buffet has , this time a recording from a concert at Wrigley Field. Bob Dylan obviously is more Advanced for playing minor-league parks, but this is still pretty good.

• Maybe it's the lack of sleep talknig, but ." So is it amusing? And if so, was it intentionally amusing?

  I'm just a'musing this morning, aren't I?

• made a kids' record. I can't tell if this is old news, but I'm suddenly very interested.

• If you like record stores, unless you want to feel sad.
• Deep Purple aren't going to let anything stop them from . More on this soon.

  ..
  

National Geographic Music Store, plus Bob Dylan Track List, Russian Piracy, Best Metal Band Ever, the Voice in the Mirror

• National Geographic is . Remember: Embracing World Music is Advanced.
• The song titles for .

  One of them is "The Levee's Gonna Break," which is either about Katrina or a Zeppelin homage or, more probably, about something totally different.

• When it comes to piracy, . But Dwight Schrute could have told you that a long time ago.

• Which group was ? Which reminds me: It seems like I haven't heard "Balls to the Wall" by Accept in a very long time. Too long, in fact.

• In the Village Voice, music critics than musicians.

Justin Timberlake Sticks Up for Paris, Glastonbury vs.

U2, Who's on First Virgin Lineup, Mick Rock on Syd Barrett, George Jones Video

• I'm not sure, but I think Justin Timberlake . One thing is for sure: He makes a great Gibb.
• The Glastonbury festival is !

  (According to the Glastonbury organizers.)

• You can catch the Who playing with the Red Hot Chili Peppers (and others) at the . Attendance is not mandatory, however.

• Mick Rock says about Syd Barrett's last years: He was rich.
• Check out (you have to click their link). No, not that "One," another "One" with Tammy Wynette.

  His voice can make anything good.

Cover of "Modern Times," plus Pitchfork Interview With David Byrne, Lyrics the New Napster, Johnny Cash "V" Number One, Diamond Dave

• The cover of Bob Dylan's new record, , appears to be a blurred photo of an old-fashioned taxi.

  (Thanks to )

• Pitchfork interviewed about the rerelease of Bush of Ghosts and lots of other stuff. Interesting as always.
• You better get the lyrics to "Bling Bling" while you can because soon .

• The only thing Johnny Cash has to do is play a prison or die.
• From the New York : "Mr.