Our Diaries: Diary 27

When I was back in my cavern I summoned Meda to me and she appeared in seconds. I told her of my new servant Elfida who I hadn't spoken to yet. I said as she was more than 400 years old she would be well acquainted with witchcraft and may have useful information Meda could use.

I said I am increasing your powers so you may call yourself the Hilltop Witch; or Reborn Gann of Woods or whatever you want; you are still bound to these lands by the Lord Manitou but you now have permission to contact other witches elsewhere through your spells and receive information from them also, though none may visit my lands. All witches and warlocks and suchlike you find must have their names checked by Manitou's people before you enter into any serious exchanges of spells and information
Though my new servant may see the blind children she is forbidden to enter their minds or control them. You may grant Gramps increases of power as you wish if you think he needs them.

I am concerned my mother spends too much time underground now, so you must limit her visits and my children's visits to whatever you think is more practicable for these children are principally your servants and day trips out and toys and things may be sidetracking them so much that they become too tired to be of any use to you. I grant you permission to use sufficient small spells to move my mother and my children towards healthy swimming and more of an interest in our animals, hunting and estate
Then I doubled her powers, and advised her seek out any other spell books now, also find the old Witch's secret cavern where she contacted others from. I said I would be sending Elfida in about hour after I had spoken to her and expected her assessment of Elfida as a servant to me.

Meda thanked me for the increased powers and said she would call herself Witch Meda to others. I could feel the joy within her at this new trust and she once again renewed her vow I will never let you down Countess Caitlin, your trust in me will be returned a hundredfold and we parted. I said, are you there Elfida?

, she answered, yes Countess, I said, I have other servants and I am sending you to them in half an hour, they will fill you in on my needs and desires, if you are loyal to me you will be rewarded, that is all I have to say. In 30 minutes you will ask for the Witch Meda she will tell you where to go, understand? and she said, yes.

Malcolm has passed his helicopter pilot test and is now a qualified pilot, I am very pleased and have ordered a helicopter. Malcolm has arranged regular maintainance and fuel supplies from an Anglesea Aerodrome. We have opted for a light multi-purpose helicopter, which can have a crew of one or two, and passengers up to 4.

The cost is $893,000 and it flies fast enough to put us in Lakota or even Windsor Castle in less than an hour, or Manchester Airport in 40 minutes. He has promised me the first flight when it comes. Hannah will develop better now for she will have two teacher's to learn from.

I have had a small deputation from The Llansin, Llanfwyn and Dyfcou regarding Magistrates duties. Apparently I am supposed to appoint Magistrates to all of the towns in Camfwys, they are currently in need of 3 new Magistrates locally due to long term sickness and retirement. I have spoken to Holly and she says it is true.

I have requested all towns to send their lists of current Magistrates and a breakdown of general crimes in the areas covered. I have also asked the various Senior Police Officers, Probation Officers, Social Services, and Religious Leaders to send me their views on the Magistrates in their areas but they must reply within 10 days, for Holly tells me they often waited for weeks sometimes from all the people mentioned. I have also advertised in the newspapers throughout Camfwys, inviting applicants for Magistrates positions, they must tell me of themselves on one side of an A4 sheet or less.

All ages between 18 yrs and 70 yrs will be considered. All applicants must be able to speak Welsh and English.
Mummy tells me that she, Hannah, and Malcolm are going to do some hunting with the bow on our estate as the pigs and goats are multiplying out of control and the freezer needs filling up anyway.

I suggested they all go to Greeling Woods first and see if they can stun some badgers and a pair of foxes and set them loose on the estate as they can dispose of any bits left behind from cleaning the animals which might save a lot of digging to bury bones etc. They are more excited at catching and stunning, than the hunting and are doing the Northhumberland forests as well as Greeling Woods so they can stun some wild goats and small deer also. Most of our older trees are growing very well now, with hundreds of saplings following, the whole estate should be covered in wild flowers and grasses, and bushes of one kind or another, giving the animals plenty of cover for survival, by summer.

I now have Elfida with me, Meda says Elfida's thinking is very ancient but she says she can be relied upon. She has filled her in with modern happenings and inventions and all she needs to know. Elfida delivered 3 of her mothers children long ago so she has some midwifery experience.

I said, Are you there Elfida? she immediately answered and was very excited at seeing the blind children saying Meda had loaned her some special gloves so she touch them and hold them, she begged me never to send her back to the Manitou and promised to serve me always. I said, I don't want to always ask are you there, I expect you to speak freely at all times and search out anything that is useful to me, you will stay in touch with The Manitou at all times to stay on top of things.

If Meda doesn't mind you visiting, you are free to visit her when you are not needed though I expect instant presence if I call your name.
Finally I am giving you more power so you can help me properly. Elfida said I could rely on her and thanked me for trusting her.

I said, at all times you must occasionally monitor my Mother and children, if you have any worries consult with Witch Meda first before telling me. I have many letters on the way to me for jobs as Magistrates, as they arrive you must assess them yourself with your new powers and keep the reliable ones in one pile and the doubtful ones in another. I am to visit the King and Queen of Norway soon, check them out through Manitou's people.

I do not want my family to know at present that I am pregnant so until I am 5 months pregnant you must make all onlookers see me as slimmer than I am, do you understand all this? Elfida said, I understand it all, it will be done.
Shortly after this Elfida said, Your family comes, they bring 2 goats, 3 foxes and a pair of young badgers, Hannah has been bitten.

I said thank you Elfida, and got out Mummy's medical bag for she would want to do it herself and left it on the table. Then I began a meal for them all for when they are excited they eat everything in sight. It was another 10 minutes before they were at the lower gate, which was a big improvement on Joshua as he only ever picked them up about 2 minutes before they got to the gate.

I helped them unload the animals and checked over them. Mummy hurried inside and then walked slowly out staring at me hard with the medical bag in her hand; I said I only got it in case it was needed Mummy One of the badgers wasn't quite as stunned as they thought and had bitten Hannah's thumb. Mummy gave her a tetanus and dressed the wound.

The animals seemed okay so they sent them to various parts of the estate with the foxskin rug from the barn. They had got a dog fox, vixen and fox cub; young boar badger, and one billykid from Greeling Woods; the sow badger, and mature nanny goat came from Northumberland Forest. They saw no deer but would be going back in a few days.

Elfida said the stew was ready, so I went in first and called out Your meals are ready We chatted non-stop through the meal. Mummy said we were all getting too fat and needed to swim more and hunt more. We all agreed with this.

Hannah and Malcolm are visiting Zurich from tomorrow for a couple of days, Mummy will sending the bags of cash to their hire car and then once it was all paid in they were going to visit Zurich Zoological Gardens to see what they had for our estate.
She and I went hunting on foot. I took the hill and lower estate and she went to the thinking room area.

I got a Tamworth and gutted it where it lay, leaving the guts for the foxes or badgers. Then I sent it to the stream and followed on foot. I washed it clean and sent it to the barn and strolled back across the estate.

Mummy was already back and she'd cut up my pig. She had got 2 ducks and 3 rabbits and had already cleaned them as well. I said thanks Mummy and helped her with the packaging and we now had a freezer half full.

Then we went for a leisurely swim. It was a cold but sunny day. We sat talking in the living room, accompanied with whisky and cake, for the rest of the day, and both went to bed half-pissed I think.

It was nice.
King Edward telephoned next morning and asked me if I would be a privy counsellor to him so I said yes; Mummy said that on average royal men hadn't proved lucky for us, I agreed but said I felt that Edward might be different. She also said I should consider Hannah as a Magistrate as she was fair in her judgements, I said she'd be welcome but had to officially apply like the rest.

Mummy said she sort it. Malcolm called to say they had sent 3 small deer, an angorra goat and 2 mountain sheep from the Zurich Zoological gardens to our estate. Mummy said we better put hay out for a month or two for the deer and other animals.

So I did this before I forgot it, and left a note for the smallholders to renew it when they did the stables. There was only 4 duties in Europe for the Spring Equinox, Mummy said she would do them. The USA duties were 9, Hannah and Malcolm said they'd do them.

My 10 waiting days for the magistrates applications and complaints are now finally up, I haven't opened any yet but Elfida has sorted the applications into two piles and the complaints into another pile. There has been 209 applications, of which 142 are no good according to Elfida, so I sent them to the flames unopened. The other 67 I need to read.

The complaints total 71, so I read them first then I would know what kind of person I would need. It took me 4 days to read all the complaints letters, some of the stories were appalling, one police inspector sent me copies of a file showing me that the same young man had been arrested selling drugs 4 times and each time had just been fined 25 by the same magistrate. In 5 cases of rape the rapist had only received 6 months in prison.

In the long run I retired or sacked 19 magistrates, a further 21 tendered their own resignations in protest at being told what to do.
This meant I had 40 to replace, plus the original 3 outstanding which meant 43 altogether. Hannah had decided not to apply and wouldn't be talked into it by Mummy.

The 67 applicants were all quite suitable, but the ones who stood out were 28 young people between the ages of 19 and 23 yrs who justed wanted to change things in the areas they lived in, and where they all said local hooligans got away with too much. I appointed all 67 applicants, and reduced the hours of many current Magistrates to fit them all in. Then I sent every Magistrate a stiff letter detailing what was expected of them, and underlining the facts that 2 crimes within 2 years meant prison regardless of any excuses.

There were 190 cases outstanding of young mothers who shoplifted for pocket money or drugs, I issued orders for them to be tried now and given Boot Camp or prison.
I know it is a headache finding people to look after their children, so I further recommended that 2 crimes in 2 years for these young woman from now on meant their children being adopted. Prostitutes got Boot Camps or prison if they had any previous convictions.

In all crimes that meant prison there would be no time knocked off from the sentence if they'd broken the law before. All of this caused eruptions in the legal world but everything I did was actually within the Law of the UK. I sent copies of all the complaints to the Camfwys newspapers and they published many of them.

There were also 407 cases of repeated truancy outstanding, so again within the law I had all such children arrested and sent to boot camps without trial, and both parents, whether they lived with the child or not fined 50 each.
I think that the biggest trouble I caused was ordering that all people who got fined or sent to prison being photographed in colour and copies of the photograph and basic details be placed on public transport and public notice boards for one month's display under the title of This month's Criminals King Edward upheld my changes and ordered that all Magistrates followed both the Law, and my examples. Many more Magistrates resigned or were sacked across the Country, but in general the public liked it.

One Police Inspector wrote a month later to say thank you, but he was the only one. I made a note of his name and sent a covering letter with it to the King recommending a decoration in the man's future years. 11 Head Teachers sent letters thanking me for clamping down on the truancy and all reported falls in their school truancy figures.

All this rigmarole took up 4 or 5 weeks of course which why I am on my own now as they've all gone off to do their duties and I am leaving today for the Norway Easter invitation. Elfida found nothing really about the Norwegian King and Queen except she felt prickles over their eldest child. I asked her what prickles meant and she said it was an old term meaning there is something to be seen but that she couldn't see it.

It is probably our modern term for you can't see the wood for the trees King Olaf and Queen Margehn told me to come dressed casually which is why after I landed in Oslo I took a taxi to the Royal Palace I was arrested for attempting to enter the Royal Building. The Queen was in heaps of laughter when she came to identify me at the police headquarters. Apparently their idea of dress casually didnt mean jeans and a shirt.

She said there was a chauffer in a royal car and police escorts still waiting in the airport first class lounge for me to arrive. I said I never paid more than tourist class if I was travelling to Europe it just wasn't worth the money. I told her my entire wardrobe with me consisted of more shirts and jeans, socks and shorts, and another pair of leather boots.

She said they would have to find me something to wear as they were holding a State Dinner for me on the Sunday. I said there was no need to do anything flash but she said Mummy and I were greatly admired in Norway and the press knew I was coming. I said do you mean there was reporters waiting as well?

and she nodded and kept laughing to herself, itching to tell the King I suppose.
King Olaf thought it was funny as well, and was amazed that I had walked past everybody and got a taxi here. By the evening I was all over their TV screens as they kept showing everybody waiting, and me strolling out of the far side of the building in my shirt and jeans and getting into a taxi.

Margehn said this publicity was priceless as I was already known in Norway for doing the unpredicatable and this only confirmed it. Elfida said this is the child as a girl of about 14 came into the room. She was introduced to me as Princess Helga their eldest daughter.

I seized both of her hands for a moment as I greeted her, and knew she wasn't their daughter but a changeling.
I was also introduced to 2 sons who were nothing like their sister. I didn't know what to do for certain.

I told Elfida to contact the Manitou and get them to find out where the real daughter was, and if the King and Queen knew? The Manitou came back within minutes and said the King and Queen didn't know and their real daughter was only a few miles away living with an old woman who she thought was her gradmother. I whispered to Margehn I needed to speak to her and the King very urgently alone somewhere.

They were both shocked but agreed to see me.
When we where alone I said I am a clairvoyant, first I will prove it to you and I stood facing the wall and asked them to produce something or do what ever they wanted and each time I correctly said what it was as Elfida was telling me. They thought at first it was a great party trick until I told them that on holding Helga's hands that I learnt she wasn't their real daughter, their real daughter lived only a few miles away and if they sent for her they would see it right away.

This caused bloody murder as Gramps used to say, but eventually they calmed down enough for the King to send his Royal Guards to the address and bring the occupants to the Palace. This 14 yr old was unmistakeably their daughter, she was the image of her brothers. Whereas Helga looked like the old lady who was with this girl.

I said to them Be careful whatever you do, these young girls lives could be ruined by what you say or do this day I took both girls to sit in another room with me; they had no idea what was going on; but seemed to like one another. I sat them down and reminded them of the story of the Prince and the Pauper, and said imagine if that was now, what would you do? The girl called Heidel said she would like to live as a Princess for a while as they didn't always have things to eat; Helga said she would jump at the chance because she was never alone and was fed up with people waiting on her head and foot, she couldn't even have a bath without a maid watching.

There was a piano in the room so for the second time in my life I played music on it, and it was great, thank you Sophie . Me and the girls sang lots of popular Norwegian songs until we were all laughing. I made them play the same 3 or 4 notes either side of me as I played the same tune in the middle until we collapsed in heaps laughing ourselves silly.

Then we saw everybody had come in and was watching us and we all felt guilty and stood up. Margehn started clapping and then they all did, so we bowed to them. I told Queen Margehn I had told the girls the story of the Prince and the Pauper to prepare them for the shock.

So The King and Queen and the old lady all went into another room with the girls, and I was left with the 2 sons.
They wanted to know what was going on so I told them that Helga wasn't their real sister the other girl was, but if they wanted to keep Helga with them as well as their real sister they should march into the other room and demand that both girls stay. This they promptly did, and I crept away into the kitchen area and sat talking to the cook and her assistant, while drinking coffee and eating some of their gorgeous apple pie.

Elfida said they were all looking for me but I didn't move as I hadn't eaten all of my pie and anyway I was giving them the recipe of Mummy's apple bread. Eventually the eldest boy found me, he was Prince Harald aged 19 and said You better come with me Countess Caitlin, half the palace is searching for you I thanked the cook and went with him.
They told me off for causing another panic after the first one over their real daughter.

But I was forgiven for telling them the truth. I have long since forgotten how the babies got mixed up at birth, but after an all night session with their counsellors and lawyers and the old lady and themselves, The King and Queen finally went to bed at 2am. The old lady and the girls stayed the night at the palace.

I told Olaf and Margehn I didn't want people to know I was clairvoyant and would deny of any involvement, then I went to bed myself. When I woke up in the morning and came down everybody was scurrying about and I went to the kitchen for something to eat but they chased me away and showed me the breakfast room where I was expected.
Everybody went silent when I entered, and I said What have I done?

and Olaf, Margehn, and the old lady all came over and hugged me, thanking me for what I had done. They said they were making an official announcement at the State Dinner to say that an old nurse had died leaving a letter which said she had changed the babies at birth for some reason. Also that with the grandmothers blessing they were officially adopting Heidel and both girls would carry the title of Princess, and be treated with equal standing.

The old lady didn't want to live at the Palace so they'd settled a good pension for her and both girls would be taken to visit her weekly and she was happy with that.
That is all really except the bloody State Dinner. They tried all sorts of clothes on me that where brought from a Fashion House before finding something suitable.

Queen Margehn loaned me some of her fancy jewels and at the last minute they realised I only had boots and I had to wait while they found Ladies size UK 9 which wasn't an easy task. I said I was happy with the boots and because I was wearing a floor length dress nobody would see, but Queen Margehn was horrified at the thought. By the time we entered the State Dining Room it was already full with scores of dignitaries, who bowed or curtseyed as we passed.

King Olaf gave a long speech, firstly about the discovery of their real daughter, and they stood her up to show everyone who she was, and secondly to welcome Countess Caitlin to Norway and he rabbited on a lot about my real and imagined deeds.
Then he called me forward and knighted me before them all with The Royal Norwegian Order of St. Olav I knew I'd have to give a speech, so I thanked them for this great honour, adding I wouldn't have come if I'd have known about it, which made them all laugh, so I told them all the panic I had caused by having a cup of coffee and a piece of pie in the kitchen, then about having no frocks with me and that I'd offered to wear my boots with the gown they'd found which seemed to have them all in stitches.

Finally I reminded them of the story of the Prince and the Pauper and said wasn't really wonderful that their King and Queen were doing the right thing. They gave the Royal Couple a tremendous cheer and we all sat down to Dinner. Margehn said I was a crafty cow letting them have all the glory.

I went home on the Monday, this time by the Norwegian Royal Flight, Margehn wanted to come with me as far as Manchester Airport. We chatted long on this and that, I asked her how old she thought I was, and she said according to the Internet I was 51 yrs old this year, but I only looked about 30. I said I am 50 and that she was the first one to know I was expecting twins late August though they may come early as twins often do.

She asked me who the father was, so I said I hadn't told him yet and I'd better tell him first. But I said I had already brought up my other children without any fathers so that didn't really bother me, I was more bothered about explaining it all to my mother, and Margehn burst out laughing.
She said Well it won't bother anybody for they all love you both in UK and Norway, in many ways it is part of your image to keep surprising them all the time, we thought they'd all be shocked at your new laws you expected from your Magistrates, plus the youth of some of the Magistrates you have chosen; but they lapped it all up, even in Norway they said we could do no worse than follow your example.

I said Now you have come this far you might as well visit my home, I am only 40 minutes by helicopter from Manchester so they sent messages ahead and there was a helicopter waiting for us. Mummy and the children were still not back so I showed Margehn our estate on horseback and showed her all over the house, then we went for a swim. I gave her Mummy's favourite of badger and deer stew with greens before escorting her back to Manchester Airport.

She said she would like to come again, and I said anytime She is 2 years younger than me and will be a buddy I think. I recommended she look up Queen Holly; and I gave her Holly's telephone number, for I said Princess Charlotte was going to be a beautiful woman and still a virgin, and might just suit one of her sons for a wife.
I said, thank you Elfida for making this a wonderful trip.

Then I went to see what was in the cavern. 3 oil paintings; 7 watercolours; lots of wines and spirits; canned foods; a laptop and files of documents; and 12,900 from Mummy. a stack of furs; more foods, wines, spirits; and a note to say 4 horses to the estate just about now.

I drove to the wholesalers and bought six 6ft x 4ft easy-assemble wineracks. I re-organised the cavern quite a bit, and put the racks up, fixing them securely to the walls. We already had 12 boxes of wines and spirits from other trips, so I sorted them, and all the new stuff, into red and white wines, and the various spirits etc and filled 4 of the racks.

1 racks were just whisky which must mean we are all boozers I suppose.
I left the pictures for Mummy to sort out as she was always swopping them around. I am afraid I have no culture at all and to me pictures are just pictures, and ornaments are just ornaments, and they mean nothing beyond the nice ones and pretty ones To tell you the truth I can't stand people looking back at me from photographs and pictures so I never pick any oil paintings if they have people in them.

Once Mummy has passed on all the ones she has picked with people on them will be sold!
They have erected the monument to Princess Anne-Marie now so I went to see it. It is white and pink marble and looks very nice, they have Princess Pamela on the opposite side with the same birth and death rates.

I sat down for a while as tears rose to my eyes. When I finally stood up to leave I suddenly noticed about 30 people all around watching me, several women rushed forward with tissues and hugs which made it a lot worse I think for only when they thought I was over the tears would they let me drive away in my car. I arranged for the local florists to place seasonal fresh flowers there every week.

Somebody shoved the local newspaper into my gate letterbox the next day, and there was a photograph of me sitting by the monument on the front page. The article said several women had chased the photographer away and had said it was a disgrace when decent folk couldn't even mourn their dead in peace. I won't go again of course, I just wanted to see it this once.

People like me don't have time to mourn anybody for when you both see death and create death you become detached from it all as though it is somebody else who is doing it, and you are only watching from the side all the time.
I will have to organise something for the coming babies, the biggest bedroom is Pam's old bedroom really, which used to overlook the steep slope to the main road but you can't see it now as the new trees are blocking most of the view. So I have moved all of my stuff into there, and apart from arms and jewellery I have sent Pam's belongings to the flames as nobody else had done it.

I shared the jewellery between Hannah and Malcolm, and put the arms into the armoury. I got another chest of drawers from the wholesalers and put it into my bedroom and bought a load of bib and braces and t-shirts for my pregnancy bulge when it comes, my breasts have already swollen quite a bit but the larger size shirts I wear now help to hide it all from the others. Meda says I should have enough milk to breastfeed both babies for about one month after that it will be bottles.

She has found the other cavern the old Witch used it was entered from the main one but hidden by a spell. Inside it are shelves of herbs and concoctions and 4 other spell books obviously stolen from other witches. Meda has wisely decided to read all of the spell books and identify everything on the shelves before she attempts to contact other witches.

She has found another 4 chests of treasure; Gramps says he has been through all of my own chests and the old Witch's chests and has put the best of the treasures into mine. When Meda was doing something, Gramps signed to me that he'd put a vast amount of gems under the pebbles in the thinking room and I signed thank you back to him. I asked him if he needed any more power and he signed no
Mummy, Hannah, and Malcolm all returned on the same day.

They seemed to have enjoyed themselves. Mummy said she had sent another horse at the last minute as it was already in foal and on its own in a field. Hannah said they had collected much money and it was in the apartment stash.

I asked Mummy about the laptop and papers? she said they were in a duties car and sent them on impulse, so I said I'd have a look through them. After our evening swim we were all settled around the fire with our whisky and fruit cake and I said to Hannah and Malcolm they should both consider marriage, they were very eligible, wealthy, and could pick from the poorest to the highest throughout Europe and America.

Mummy agreed, and said many of the European Monarchies needed new blood. She mentioned the Danish Crown Prince aged 31 who was still single and studied Space all of the time. I mentioned 5 different Princesses looking for husbands, one of them very plain looking but an only child and Crown Princess of Belgium.

I said you can stay here all of your lives if you want, but there are other lives to live if you want them.
Elfida said, tell Malcolm Russia is seriously considering restoring their Monarchy, The Manitou says if he was to show deep interest in this country and begin to visit it all the time, they would certainly offer him the Throne. So I told him all this and I could see his eyes sparkle at its wonderful potential.

I suggested he visit Manitou's people for the 13 different languages spoken in Russia and the history of all their different peoples. Mummy said that the Manitou could find him a down to earth inteligent Russian girl for him to marry and he could even buy a home there.
Malcolm was sold on it all and left for the cavern and foxskin rug.

Elfida said he would be gone for 6 days, so I said Malcolm might be gone for a few days if he has a lot to learn . Hannah said she would look at all the available eligible young men. We discussed what to say about the missing Sophie.

Elfida said that The Manitou could send postcards from all over the world if she was assumed to be on a hike around the world and then gradually she would disappear. I suggested this to Mummy and Hannah and they agreed it was the best solution. Thank you Elfida.

The laptop was from a French businessman, he dealt in the property market, mostly hotels and restaurants. Amongst the documents were deeds to 18 properties he'd accumulated, I decided to send it all to the Navajo lawyer by foxskin rug, he sent an acknowledgement 10 minutes later.
We now have 5 foals with our increasing horse herd.

Word found its way to Geraldine of our much larger herd; probably through the smallholders gossiping in Llansin. She turned up unexpectedly and wanted to see our horses so Mummy sent for me to bring them all in. I opened the paddock gates and called for them in my mind and they came from all directions much to Geraldine's amazement.

I said to Mummy there was another one having its foal by the pyramid, then I left them to argue horses. We had 21 horses and foals. Mummy said later that Geraldine was mainly after the stallion, the mountain ponies, and Ebony's foal and they argued for several hours over prices.

Mummy didn't sell the stallion yet but did sell 9 of our horses including 3 of the foals to Geraldine for really good prices. Then they rode to the Pyramid and found the mare had given birth to a chestnut stallion. Geraldine argued all the way back of why she needed these two horses but Mummy said she'd wait and see how the foal shaped up.

Geraldine's main business was now horse breeding and sales and she nagged us every visit as to where our breeding stock came from? Mummy used to give her a different answer every time.
Mummy loves the wine racks, though needless to say she took every single bottle off them and rearranged them in quality types and said she would put them away in future as I had no finesse.

I have no idea of what she is talking about for wine is wine and whisky is whisky. Holly telephoned to say she'd spoken to Queen Margehn and she'd be visiting Lakota soon from Norway. She thanked me for mentioning Charlotte and said she wasn't going to tell Charlotte of the visit and would just see how things happened.

I told her Malcolm now had his helicopter pilot's licence, and would have the helicopter before Margehn's visit if she wanted the Queen to be collected from Manchester. Holly said yes, definitely I called King Edward to put him in the picture over Charlotte and he said he was happy she was getting this chance.
I was now entering my fifth month of pregnancy so I told Meda to tell Mummy of the pregnancy by saying she'd seen it in her crystal ball, and to tell her it was twins.

Mummy never said a word to me for about a week then she waited until we were altogether before saying When are you going to tell us about the pregnancy Caitlin? which greatly shocked Hannah and Malcolm. I said I was just working up to it, I think it is twins, and I want to have them Mummy said Well I better look at you after, 9 months from Christmas Day is September, but twins often come early Hannah burst into tears and ran out of the room, and Malcolm went after her.

Mummy said Is this why you recommended they got married? and I nodded and said I thought the twins would be a constant reminder to them of Sophie's death, but you know I am against abortion no matter who the father is . Mummy said Well it is a good idea anyway, they can't be tied to our apron strings all of their lives, I will have a word with them.

It is high time they had lives of their own
I said I am going to ask the Manitou to find me a suitable husband for me in USA and make him think he is the twins natural father so he will come after me and want to marry me, then they will have a proper father to look up to, and I will have an official husband to give me and them proper status . Mummy thought it was a good idea. Elfida said, shall I find someone?

I said no, find half a dozen at least then I will at least have some choice. Hannah and Malcolm came back and Hannah apologised for not considering my feelings as well. I stripped to the waist to let them see the bulging gut and breasts and Mummy said Bloody hell they are going to be enormous and Hannah agreed.

This was Malcolm's first vision of close-up pregnancy and I think it gave him a shock. I put his hands on my stomach as the twins kicked and he let go fast and stepped back, which made all of us girls laugh.
He never slept with Hannah again after this.

I am not sure whether it is because he was frightened of getting her pregnant or because of all those 53 pregnancies he'd brought about himself. He did fly me to Holly's with his first flight, where I told her I was pregnant with twins; also gave Charlotte and Holly Norwegian before leaving. He collected Margehn and her lady in waiting and flew them to Lakota, and took them back again a few days after.

He has decided to go to Russia and buy a country dwelling. He is going to use his royal passport which depicts him as Prince Malcolm of Camfwys, UK.
Hannah has taken 4 days to watch all 12 hypnotic educational tapes on Space Research; There is a Space Technology Exhibition in Denmark where she will be bumping into Crown Prince Herrikas accidentally; Manitou's people have given the Crown Prince dreams of Hannah winning her Olympic Gold's so he will know who he is apologising to Princess Hannah UK Holly called to say Margehn wanted Charlotte for her eldest son, so they've all been invited to Oslo for a summer holiday.

I said Don't forget to tell Edward, because technically he is the one who gives full permission she said she would tell him all about it.
Elfida said look at your email, Manitou's people have sent you 8 files on suitable husbands. The best one had one of those stepped on faces but I felt instinctively he was the one.

He was 52 yrs old, and had lost his wife and 4 children in a tornado when he was 47 yrs old. He still ran the family ranch alone, but once a month he would dress up and go to the city for the weekend where he would chat up decent ladies and find someone to sleep with at his hotel before coming home. They said he could never remember the ladies because he felt guilty sleeping with them.

But if I wrote a simple letter using my St Paul address to say I was pregnant with twins but had decided to keep them and he didn't owe me anything, and that I realised he might find me ugly because of all my scars, but I just wanted to say thank you for the babies. Signed Caitlin McFarren. They felt this would bring him running to find me if he really wanted to.

I wrote this letter with the St Paul address and it disappeared. Elfida said he would get it in his mailbox in the morning. They would plant a memory of my face in his mind and that I had drunk a lot of whisky that night.

Altogether it took him 8 days to find me. He went to my St Paul address and they said I wasn't there and wouldn't give him any details. He bribed the car attendant for my car number, and through that got my Chicago Address, he couldn't get an answer there either, but checked several taxi drivers before he found one who knew my name, and this guy had told him to ask at the Library.

They gave him a seat at their public database where he read all about me and recognised my photograph, and paid to have it printed for him. Then he had gone back to his ranch and arranged for someone watch over his cattle before he flew to England. Elfida said he was coming from the airport in about 20 minutes so I saddled a horse and rode to the pyramid to wait for him.

Mummy said she liked him right away, he was rough faced and tough looking, and demanded to see me. She said I was out on the estate over that way by a pyramid somewhere, and she took his bag while he saddled a horse and came looking for me.
His name was Andrew Gilchrist, Andy to his friends; At once he'd seen the top of the pyramid it didn't take him long then to find me riding nearby.

He asked me to step down from the saddle and helped me once he saw the bulge. He gave me the biggest telling off I ever had saying how dare I think a honourable man would abandon me just because I was pregnant and had a few scars. I said I was sorry and didn't want him to feel any obligation because I knew he was married from the ring on his finger.

He took it off and flung it into the trees saying she was dead.
I let him tell me of his wife and children, and in turn I told him I had 2 grown children, but he said I know all about you lady, you are something royal and somebody very famous and I want you to marry me and let me be a father to those babies I said You know nothing about me I might be lying He said I remember you quite well you were so damned drunk you could hardly stand up so don't tell me such rubbish, In any case people like you never lie that is why you sent the letter because you thought it was the proper thing to do because you are somebody Royal and that is the way they think.
After several more minor squabbles I agreed to marry him but said I am not your sit at home type person I am often overseas or visiting Royal families and things like that so if you are looking for some timid housewife you will be in for a shock.

He said from what I have read about you you are too goddamn brave for your own good but let us not argue. He asked about the pyramid and I said fathers ashes were in there but we called it the thinking room and sometimes sit here in the summer. Then we rode back.

He walked straight up to Mummy and said Ma'am, I have asked your daughter to marry me and she has agreed Mummy said Well I hope you are a honourable man sir, because if you are not I will thrash you myself and Andy burst out laughing and said I believe you would ma'am
Malcolm came shortly after with Hannah in the helicopter and I introduced Andy to them. He said he had never been in a helicopter so Malcolm and Hannah took him up with them in the helicopter to show them this estate. I said to Mummy okay?

and she nodded and said He will do, we need a real man around here anyway Andy was amazed at the size of the estate and had seen the various animals we hunted. Also the smallholdings we owned but rented out. He wanted to round up the horses roaming all over but I said I prefer them that way it is more natural for them.

He said how can I ride them if they are running wild? Mummy said she just calls them in, don't ask me how because I don't know.
Andy said he'd been ranching all of his life and never heard of such a thing so I had to go and open the paddock gate and call them for him to prove a point, they came in from all over as always and stood in the paddock while he checked them over.

Then I clicked my fingers and they fled again. He never said a word. Hannah took him to the study to show him the bloody trophies and medals etc then she showed him the house as well, and she sat on the hill with him for a long time just talking.

Then Malcolm rode the estate with him showing him everything there was to see, I suppose they had a long talk as well. Finally he sat with Mummy in the study with a bottle of whisky to share until it was dark.
I went to bed and didn't wait for his return.

When I came down about 5am for breakfast he was already up and about. He said First of all I want to know how you call those horses, and if you can call individual ones I said it was what they call mind over matter, if you can trust me without asking too many questions of how this or that works I will show you. He nodded so I put my hands on his temples and said Shut your eyes Andy and I waited until Elfida said it was done.

Then we walked out to the paddock and he called them all in, and an odd tear ran down his face, and he said how beautiful this gift was. He walked amongst them whispering and patting before clicking his fingers and sending them away.
As he cooked our breakfast he said Caitlin, I have no idea who you are inside for each of your family paint a different picture of you.

I feel instinctively you are not just human but probably some kind of Indian Shaman or Witch like my grandmother was. But I want to marry you and still need some pride to be the man in my own home. If only one of those medals and things you have is true, then I may never match up to your level and I don't want to take second place in my own home, I am used to being first.

Elfida said we know what his grandmother looks like if you want him to talk to her in spirit.
I said to Andy Would you like to talk to someone who might help you decide? and he said Yes I would for I am very confused I said Come with me Andy , and I led him to the cavern, saying this place is incredibly old, hundreds of years old, and nobody knows of it but us.

I showed him the foxskin rug and said That is a foxskin rug, it is a sort of flying carpet, you can go anywhere on it, but it doesn't go with you, so if you say take me to my ranchhouse it will do that, though the journey is long and cold, and you wouldn't be able to come back because your passport is up in your room.
But if you say Take me to my ranchhouse and put me into my bedroom, and after 5 minutes bring me back, then it will follow those instructions precisely. I know you doubt my words because you have never experienced such a thing.

So why don't you take it at face value and stand on it and say take me to Caitlin's farmhouse kitchen and just see what happens He waited for about 20 minutes, then he must have thought what the heck for he suddenly walked on it and said Take me to Caitlin's bedroom and he shimmered and disappeared. I waited 5 minutes before he walked downstairs and joined me again. He was as white as a sheet.

I said If you want to talk to someone special in your family, whether they are alive or dead, then sit or kneel on the foxskin rug and just say I want to speak to whoever it is and if they have been a good person then their spirit will speak to you, but you cannot ask for droves of people you can only ask for one on any single day then I said I am going back upstairs for some coffee, join me when you have finished.
Elfida said he has asked for his grandmother and the Manitou is talking to him in her voice. I said thank you Elfida, you must arrange for his former wife and children to appear for he is bound to ask for them sooner or later, ask The Manitou to impress upon him he can only ask the once for each of them or he'll be doing it all the time.

Elfida said she would. He was 2 hours in the cavern before he came upstairs. Mummy was down having coffee with me.

He no longer looked pale and had some colour in his cheeks. I said It is a bit of a shock isn't it, my parents found this cavern and I sort of grew up with it He seemed much calmer inside and he said My grandmother tells me there is no shame in being 2nd or 3rd or 4th in any household, the only shame is not being able to hold up your end no matter what position you are in. So I have decided to ask again will you marry me I said yes and he kissed me and hugged us both.

Mummy said I don't care if you want to be higher than me I've been playing second fiddle to this one since she was a kid I said That is a lie Mummy and she said to Andy You will learn, as we all have learnt here, that Caitlin always does what she wants to do and it may be weeks, months, or years before any of us knows what went on at any specific time Malcolm came in for breakfast and heard that and said My Nanna speaks the truth Andy, you have no idea what you are letting yourself in for, Hannah and I want to give you the Victoria Cross now for taking on this mother of ours everybody started laughing, but underneath I knew they meant all of it.
I said There is much more to come Andy; the steps and passageway leading to the cavern are really solid rock, if anybody else other than ourselves tried to come that way they would need a civil engineer and mining equipment Mummy and Malcolm were nodding in agreement It is protected by an ancient Witch who lives around here somewhere, and she is a ghost, and so is her assistant who is my father who died many years ago. because they are ghosts they have no power to lift things physically so they have 2 blind living children who do all their fetching and carrying; The greenhouse in the farmyard is theirs to grow herbs and special plants in so just leave it alone
I could see mixtures of both amazement and doubt on Andy's face as he heard these things.

I said Mummy will take you to them, and seeing as how I am such a liar you can ask my father and the Witch Meda anything you want to know about me, I give them both permission to tell you anything you want to know. Now I have work to do in the office, so you will know where I am if you need me and I left. Elfida said Andy can't swim; so I went back and said to Mummy Andy can't swim Mummy, can you teach him, he won't mind being told off by you Andy said I'm not interested in swimming and Mummy said You are learning!

, I am not having these twins drowning just because you couldn't swim; and while we are at it Caitlin, you can bugger off to Holly's for 3 or 4 weeks while we arrange your marriage under special licence, so get your bag packed and Malcolm can fly you over there this morning
So I got the bum's rush to Lakota, by the time I got there Mummy had already called Queen Holly and filled her in on the details. I said to Holly This is bloody daft, it is not as though I am an innocent virgin or something Holly said I don't care, you are under my charge until you are married and I have promised to keep you here But within 2 days I was fed up sitting around and began to teach George different subjects to improve his education. He didn't have the instinct that would make a good hunter, but could ride well and swim well.

It was no good trying to load stuff into his mind for his brain couldn't cope with it, so it took much patience to find what really interested him, I couldn't read his mind like you can with most people as much of it was seemed to be blank pages. I asked Elfida if she could see anything and she couldn't. In desperation I used the Internet and found an extensive program to improve a persons memory skills.

It is the kind of thing you do at schools where they put say 10 items on a tray and uncover them for 2 minutes and then they cover them and ask you how many you can remember, and it builds up so eventually you can recall 25 or 30 items without any real effort.
Now this program showed the items on the computer screen. You could adjust the speed from 10 items in 10 seconds to hundreds of items in just a few minutes depending how good you are.

I made George sit at the screen and set it at its highest rate, then I ran it and it flew so fast I could'nt make out even one single item. I asked Elfida to see what pictures he remembered out of the top speed of 900 items in 3 minutes, and although like me he said he saw nothing Elfida said he saw clearly 2 items which registered with him. One was an Angel, and the other was a pen.

I smiled for to me it meant one day he would write about angels.
I took him for a long walk around Lakota estate and asked him When did you see your first angel George? he said it was when; then he stopped and said How did you know that?

I said I see them all the time sometimes and then other times I don't seem to see many for ages and I wonder where they are this wasn't true of course but it inspired him to tell me of all the different angels he'd been seeing for as long as he could remember, and there was many, they seemed to guide him in all his doings and keep him safe from harm. I said Don't tell anybody yet, wait until you are about 30 then you can write a big book all about them then I took him and showed him the Internet sites on the computer for Angel Sightings, so he'd know many others saw them as well. While he was doing that I called Mummyu and asked her to send me a security briefcase, notebooks and pens.

I also asked Elfida to find me a metal ornament of an angel to put in his bedroom.
I showed him how the briefcase worked so he could put his own secret code into it and nobody would be able toopen and read his writings. Elfida found a 3 high bronze angel with outspread wings, and I thanked her, and put it on George's bedroom dresser for him to find.

Holly wanted to know why George had a briefcase, so I said I had encouraged him to write a diary as his writing was dreadful, also I whispered he wants to be a famous writer one day Holly said good for him I hope he succeeds George whispered to me afterwards Thank you for my lovely angel, I am keeping her in my briefcase
Time seemed to drag at Lakota, I mostly swam and talked and walked. 2 days before the big event I started ironing my shirts and jeans in the early hours as I had breakfast; Holly appeared in her dressing gown and said What are you doing Caitlin? I said I am getting my things ready for the wedding, I've only to polish my boots up and it will be done.

Holly said Over my dead body!, you will wear something proper I said it doesn't matter the Registrar is coming to Hilltop so nobody will see anything. Holly said I am telling you now you will be properly dressed and she telephoned Mummy to complain.

She said Mummy knew what I was like and had already made me a dress and suitable footwear etc; and that Malcolm would be bringing them early on the day of the wedding. I said to Holly I'd have been just as happy in the shirt and jeans I don't see what difference it makes. She said It does and that Mummy had said the ceremony would be in the Study.

On the day of the wedding Malcolm flew over, grinning all over his face. Holly insisted on helping me dress. Mother had sent a navy blue loose fitting dress which hid most of my bulge.

Holly, Charlotte, and George were all dressed in their very best outfits, as was Malcolm. Holly and Charlotte plaited my long black hair and bound it with coloured ribbons. Then we went in the helicopter.

I was met by King Edward who said he'd been asked to give me away, and said it was a great honour to him. I thanked him. Malcolm had started the Wedding March on the DVD so we walked in linking arms.

Andy was wearing a smart suit, shirt and tie. The Registrar said Who is the Chief Bridesmaid? and Hannah spoke behind me saying That it me and he said Who is the best man?

and Malcolm said That is me
The Ceremony was quite short really, only about 20 minutes, and the Registrar left right away as he had two more personal weddings to do. Andy shook hands with King Edward and Queen Holly saying he was deeply honoured. I hugged and kissed all my family and thanked them for all they had done.

We feasted very well and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. All of the wedding gifts were something for the babies; Andy went off with King Edward to show him our horses and the rest of us sat drinking and eating wedding cake. It was my first real wedding and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Malcolm flew Holly and her children home to Lakota, and King Edwards helicopter came for him. In my absence they had knocked down a dividing wall between two of the bedrooms to make a master bedroom for us with a four-poster bed.
When we changed into our normal clothes he saw my naked body for the first time and said Caitlin I never realised how many scars you had, I just remembered you had some, but I want you to know we will find true love for ourselves in the years to come, the past is behind us now, we were just two lonely people in that hotel, but now I see you properly I want you to know you will always be beautiful to me scars or no scars.

I already love you and we kissed deeply. Andy said I am taking you to my ranch for our honeymoon, I am closing it up and selling everything, my life is here now with you Behind him I saw our new ID's arriving on the bed and held him a bit longer. I said These are your new ID's; I gave him his new royal passport which described him as 'Sir Andrew Gilchrist' I explained as a Countess my partner got honorary status; he also had a standard passport for discreet travel; and various driving licences etc valid in both countries.

He was really pleased at being classed as a Knight; and said he thought he was quite wealthy as his ranch was worth around $5 million and he had some $800,000 in the bank, but he said Mummy had insisted he accept 100 million so he could have independent status from me and had taken him to Roikers and opened other accounts as well. He said he knew all about the duties and that we were fighting what was bad; he had met Witch Meda and Gramps and the blind children. He knew we all carried arms, and Mummy had given him to The Manitou to give him the Welsh language.

Also basic fighting skills and weapon training and these things would be continued in his dreams until he was skillful. He said he felt for the first time in his life he was doing something and going somewhere. He now carried a .

44 and an old bowie knife he had selected from our armoury. He wasn't surprised to hear of the FBI for he knew of their doings in Waco and not many have trusted them since.
Malcolm flew us to Manchester where we caught our flight to Denver, Colorado that evening to start our honeymoon.

He was quite nervous carrying arms through the Customs and passport checkout desks and hadn't really believed they wouldn't be detected until he was sat on the aircraft. He had never flown first class before, or been treated as royalty, and said he could get to like it a lot. I slept most of the way to Denver.

Andy said he didn't sleep at all for aircraft made him nervous. Andy had left his pickup truck in the airport parking lot and I waited wih our luggage while he went to fetch it. Once we had put the luggage in the back I insisted on driving as he hadn't slept.

He told me to head for Steamboat Springs then he would direct me from there, but I'd only gone about a mile before he was fast asleep in the passenger seat. He slept all the way to his ranch. Elfida directed me the last 40 miles or so.

I got his keys from his coat pocket and let myself in, and let the water run a bit before filling the kettle and making ourselves coffee.
His bed hadn't been made simnce he'd left, so I turned the mattress over and put on clean bedding. He'd left a small mountain of used clothing in the utility room, I sent the worst of it to the flames and put the rest in the washer dryer.

I drank both my coffee and his before making some more and waking him up. I said Are you planning on spending our honeymoon in the car or will you be coming in for a meal? I think he was very embarrassed, and said he hadn't slept like that for years.

After our coffee he picked me up and carried me to his bed where he undressed me and well and truly fucked me until we came together. After which we lay naked for a long time talking before he said Mrs Gilchrist, I think it is time you gave me a shagging, and I obliged while he played with and kissed my breasts and felt the babies bulge until I came all over him and he came inside of me. So, as I showered he changed the bed again, then he showered after me.

None of his wife's clothing and property; and even the children's clothing and property had ever been touched since they died. So I sent him to check his animals while I sent everything to the flames except for one or two little keepsakes from each of them. These I put in a small suitcase with his family photographs, and his wife's jewellery.

There was hardly any food in the kitchen so I telephoned Mummy and asked her to send enough for 48 hours and it arrived about 20 minutes later; so I had a a roast meal waiting when he finally returned. He had been to the nearest town for groceries. I helped him carry them in before we ate.

He said he needed to clear some of the bedrooms, but I told him I had done it and showed him the suitcase, he said it was okay because he had been putting it off for years.
Elfida said somebody was coming in a green truck; I told him I could see it in my mind. He said it was a neighbour who'd been watching his cattle for him, and the horses.

This neighbour said there'd been rustlers and about 20 head of his cattle had gone. Elfida said the man was a liar and had sold them to his own brother over in Granby, also he'd stolen some of the animal medicines and 2 lariats from the stables. I told this to Andy in Welsh and he nodded.

After the man had gone, Andy said don't worry about it, I'll see to him before we leave. We spent several days cleaning out the place and making love all the time. Then I said Didn't you tell me you have trouble all the time with those Reservation Arapaho Indians stealing your stock?

He said yes, but he'd had no trouble for a while.
I said pick which horses you want and we will send them and your stuff to Hilltop, you don't need the money from this place, so why not give the ranch and stock to the Arapaho's, you can tell them you have been having trouble with this neighbour stealing your cattle and selling them to his brother in Granby but you haven't been able to prove it. They will make his life miserable for years, they'll probably rob him until he is broke.

Andy said it went against the grain to give the ranch to the Indians, so I said accept a token $100 so it can be shown they paid for this place. He agreed finally after some arguments, I went with him to arrange everything.
As I spoke Arapaho I did all the talking as well.

I told them I was the Daughter of Manitou and had brought them a gift of a prosperous ranch as a gift from The Manitou. They must assemble their lawyers to sign all the necessary papers, and pay a $100 token amount to show it had been bought and paid for. I named the neighbour as an enemy to The Manitou but said he shouldn't be killed but they must take all of his cattle slowly until none were left.

They agreed and bowed to me, saying their lawyers would be at the ranch within 2 days. I told Andy all I had said, when we got back he assembled his arms, saddles and tackle, and everything personal he wanted. I said put your hand upon it and say I am Andrew Gilchrist, husband of Countess Caitlin, I want this pile of stuff to go to the Hilltop cavern and it shimmered and disappeared.

I said Now they know who you are you can just use your own name so using his mind he called in his favourite 3 horses and as he patted each on the main he said This is Andrew Gilchrist take this horse to the Hilltop estate please until all had gone. He kept smiling and saying his children would have loved all this fairyland stuff, and magic. He said he loved it himself.

I have told him we will fly to St Paul and collect the NissanX as I had something to show him, which would be my log cabin in the Poole Falls Forest. which would be news to him, as I'd told the others not to tell him so it would be a surprise.
The Reservation Chieftains and their lawyers all attended.

I gave Andy the Arapaho language the night before they came so he would know what was going on and could take part in it if needbe. We bowed at each other out of respect. They gave me a gift of soft animal skins for the babies, and presented Andy with a ceremonial tomahawk, which greatly pleased him.

They gave us the token 100 dollars which was all in one dollar bills which showed how poor they really were. Andy signed everything where needed, and asked could we stay until morning when we would be going to Denver to catch a flight.
They agreed with this, and Andy gave them the $100 back to say it would cover our rent for the ranch for one night.

He also said if they had anybody to drive with us to Denver tomorrow they could have the pickup truck also. They said somebody would be here early, so Andy signed the pickup over to them as well. I said 3 good horses disappeared yesterday so they must watch these new lands of theirs The Chief made a formal speech thanking us for our kindnesses to their tribe, and we all shook hands and it was over.

I said to Andy afterwards Now doesn't that make you feel better helping people who really need help and he admitted it did. That night he dreamt of his former wife and she said she had approved of what he had done and wished him happiness in his new life. Elfida said the dream didn't come from them?

which shows there are other Gods in other places. In the morning a young brave was waiting on the porch, I brought him in for some breakfast with us before we left. Andy gave him $50 to cover petrol charges for his return journey.

The brave told us that 2 of the Chiefs sons were moving into the ranch house with their wives and children this day, and the whole tribe were going to round up all the cattle and horses and count them for their lawyers records. He said they would not be counting the biggest two cows as these were to be slaughtered for a celebration feast for the whole tribe.
So we flew from Denver to St Paul, where we stayed for 2 days in the apartment making much love which grew more awkward day by day as my bulk seemed to be growing bigger all the time.

Then we collected the NissanX which Andy drove as my bulk was already almost touching the steering wheel. Previous to visiting Hilltop he had never driven a Nissan X Trail but since first driving one at Hilltop he really liked them and said he should have got one years ago. We called in at Duluth for fresh foods, and drove on to Poole Falls and my log cabin.