Lucille: And a piece of toast. Gob: Illusions, Dad! You don't have time for my illusions!

Michael: Well, no one's gonna top that.
No, I think I did pretty well. Michael: Well, I..
.I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. Tobias: And I apologize for that.
I thought it was a pool toy. Waitress: Plate or platter? Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.
Gob: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army? Gob: No, I'm my sister's brother.
You're in love with me! ME! Gob's Wife: I know it can never be, so I'm leaving.
I'm enlisting in the army.
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