Homeless people now live in Wayne Coyne's alley, LCD Soundsystem prepare to make more workout music for you, and of course the sad saga of Britney and K-Fed. No matter how you vote, I'll still be here! Of course none of anything that happened on Tuesday has any effect on me since I'm Canadian and all.

But hey, good for you guys, electing people and everything. That was nice of you all.
At least Rumfeld is gone.

Hated that guy, it was like having your out of touch grandpa run a war.
The Flaming Lips are about to be receive a big honour in Wayne Coyne's hometown of Oklahoma City, where they will be having a street named after them. Oh but not just any ol' street, according to Coyne the street is an "alley.

..littered with open dumpsters, and.

..poorly lit at night.

" What an honour!
David Holt, aide to the mayor of Oklahoma City Mick Cornett, thinks that they rename some of the unnamed alleyways in the city that perhaps it will inspire the citizens of the city to clean up said alleyways, making them look much nicer. And come on, if I was a homeless man leaving in Flaming Lips Alley, I would want my alleyway to look the best in all the city.

Homeless people have pride about how their backstreets look dammit!
The Flaming Lips are currently flying around Europe, and will be in San Francisco to play with Gnarls Barkley in December. Man, I cannot go one column without mentioning Gnarls Barkley in some capacity.

Unbelievable.
LCD Soundsystem AKA James Murphy, the band (or man really) who recently released a 45 minute disco song designed specifically to work out to despite containing lyrics like "shame on you" which is probably the very last thing a fat guy trying to burn calories wants to hear will be making a new album due out sometime next March.
In the meanwhile the funky, disco dancing club hopping will be hitting hot spots around Europe to bring his brand of electro-fun to all the ravers across the country.

So buy a ticket, drop some E, and enjoy!
Daft Punk could play at my house, but I don't know if I'd have enough electrical sockets for them to plug in their robot heads:
Hmm let's see, big news, big news, in the music world?.

Hmmm?Hmmm, what happened this week, that was important?Nothing comes to mind?

Uhhh?
Oh yeah, K-Fed B-Spe are through. Yeah, that's the big news of the week people.

The king and queen of trailer park royalty are splitsville. Now of course we can all predict the ramifications of this epic event. Britney will of course continue to hit the gym and embark on her big comeback tour.

She'll release a new album, become hot again, and be the little pop princess she once was. Entertainment Tonight will talk about her bounce back, MTV will play her videos non-stop once again, and she'll probably get an iTunes commercial. Or one for Zune or some other magic music thingy like that.

And K-Fed will continue to try to use what little fame he managed to siphon off of Brit to stay alive, and then fade into obscurity. I give him, oh, six months tops before his name and nickname are erased from modern pop culture and mocked lovingly the same way we now mock "Joanie Loves Chachi" and MC Hammer. It is a sad road the untalented must tread in this world, it is the road that Paris Hilton should be heading down but as long as her daddy keeps making hotels it's only a matter of time before we hear Rollingstone giving Paris' sophomore album four stars.

But in the end, the true winners in this tale of love, scandal, unsafe child care, Cheeto abuse, and dance offs, are we the public. For we have been able to enjoy the moments this event has brought us. From the first meeting between the pop music icon and Target commercial dancer that sparked the beginning of a national phenomenon.

To Britney Kevin: Chaotic a reality show that not even MTV wanted to touch, which is really saying something (I mean that show was so bad it wasn't even worthy of being nominated for a Teen Choice Award, otherwise known as the Oscars For Those With Down's Syndrome. But I digress). To the engagement and marriage of these two, that had people around the world saying to themselves "so if I had just took a dance class I could have nailed Britney Spears?

Well shit." To "PopoZao", a song that actually made it to #11 on AOL Music's top 25 songs, therefore proving not only is there no value in the existence of AOL Music but perhaps in humanity as a whole. To the birth of Sean Preston, where Britney learned that the safest place for a child in a moving vehicle is not seated upon her crotchal region.

To the birth of?the other one whatever the hell they named him, where we all came to the grim conclusion that Britney's junk may have recovered from one kid, but two may have stretched it beyond all hope.
So, here's to you K-Fed, impregnator of Britney and ruiner of her vagina, as you prepare to disappear from the public's subconscious and fade into obscurity like so many douchebags before you, know that you made a difference in this world?

.Well that's not true, but know that you inspired millions around the world?Not true either, but, well, you got to nail someone who was once the hottest woman in all the world, knocked her up twice, and may get a healthy $30 000 a month as an alimony payment.

So yes, now he can actually legitimately claim that his career was boning Britney Spears. The cognitive dissonance we all feel from both not wanting and wanting to be him is excruciating. Way to go you lazy bastard, way to go.

And now, other unimportant news in the world of music.
Lindsay Lohan got into yet another car accident because she's too damn stupid to hire a chauffeur. When are these celebrities going to learn that you can't do blow and drive at the same time!

Jesus girl.
Reese Witherspoon filed for divorce from Ryan Phillippe. Ya know, this is long overdue, but isn't this the worst possible time to do it?

I mean, for a while Ryan Phillippe was a nobody, only known for two things which were starring the movie Cruel Intentions and of course, being married to Reese Witherspoon. He was Federline-esque, if you will. But now he's known as one of the stars of the Oscar winning movie Crash, and the probably soon to be Oscar nominated Flags Of Our Fathers.

He's very slowly becoming a player in the biz. And now you decide to dump his ass? That's just bad timing.

If you had stuck together you guys could have been like the new Annette Bening and Warren Beatty. Sigh, Hollywood, why can't all you crazy kids just get along?
Michael Jackson will appear at the World Music Awards in London where he will perform his hit song "Thriller", receive the Diamond Award for artists who have sold over 100 million albums, and of course inappropriately touch a child.

Because no Michael Jackson story can go without mention of his rampant pedophilia. It is the world we live in.
Rancid drummer Brett Reed has decided to leave the band and be replaced by some guy from The Used.

So now hopefully Rancid can get back to doing what they do best, making music for shampoo commercials?.Oh wait that was The Transplants.

Then why do I care about Rancid?..

.Oh I don't? Well ok then.

Explain this though, I was going through my clothes and for some reason I found a really old Rancid t-shirt in there. I never bought that shirt, I don't recall ever being given that shirt and I have no friends or family who like or know of Rancid. How the hell did I get that shirt?

It's kind of weirding me out.
Man, not only did Snoop turn himself in on weapons charges, he even paid bail. What kind of a gangsta are you Snoop?

!! Gangstas don't pay bail!

I bet you don't even drink gin juice anymore, it's probably gin tonic now. SELLOUT!!

Prince has opened a nightclub called "3121" in Las Vegas, most likely named after the album of course. Now that's cool and all, but here's the kicker: Prince will apparently perform there twice a week. Yes that's right, there is now a place in Las Vegas where you can go see Prince perform twice a week.

If they serve purple martinis there then that may be enough to prove that there is a God.
Hilary Duff's stalker has been arrested this week. And if Hollywood has taught me anything, it's that you haven't truly made it in the biz until you've been stalked.

Congratulations Hilary, you made it!
Hey Lindsay Lohan, where's your stalker? Huh?

Haha that's right you don't have a stalker do ya? DO YA?!

!! HAHAHA!

! Yeah suck on?Oh wait you did have a stalker?

Oh, it was, your dad? Oh?.

umm?.Congratulations Lindsay you made it!

Panic! At The Disco opened their tour with mimes. Jesus, first you use clowns, now you use the pretentious, jackass cousin of clowns.

Bloc Party, for the love of God get the hell away from these guys before you're tainted forever.
Sugababes are going on tour. Sugababes are apparently very popular in the UK.

Well, good for Sugababes.
Kanye West has apologized for comments he made at last week's MTV European Music Awards. After losing to something called Justice Vs.

Simian for Best Video, Kanye leapt on stage and preceded to say "Fuck dis! If I don't win, the awards show loses credibility. Nothing against you (J Vs S), but hell man.

" Ah Kanye, always a jackass till the end. Sad thing tho? As prickish as that statement is, he is right.

How the hell does Kanye West lose to Justice Vs. goddamn Simian? Preach on my dickhead brother, preach on!

Noel Gallaugher opened his mouth again, but compared to some of his other tirades this one was kinda tame. Same thing as usual, blah blah blah Oasis rules, blah blah blah everyone and everything copies us, blah blah blah Razorlight sucks, blah blah blah cocaine-cakes.
Pete Doherty is gaining weight after kicking drugs.

Either that he switched to the higher calorie heroin.
Genesis complete with Phil Collins are reuniting to go on tour. Hmmm, I'm not sure whether or not that's awesome.

I mean, if it's old school "Mama"-era proggy as all hell Genesis then it's fucking sweet. But if it's "Su-su-sudio"-era pop as all get out Genesis then what's the point? Might as well just have Phil Collins go on tour and sing the soundtrack from Disney's Tarzan then.

And finally, did any of you watch the Country Music Awards this week. If you did?Well then what the hell is wrong with you?

Anyway, chances are you saw Faith Hill's delightful on air meltdown upon losing to Carrie Underwood. And for those who didn't go anywhere near that show, well Youtube to the rescue. Now that's how you lose.

Still, while this is funny because it's like the head cheerleader losing out for the award for most prep, at least it's not like when Bill Murray lost at the Oscars to Sean Penn. That was like watching your grandpa lose the award for best war veteran. That was sad.

1. Various Artists, Hanna Montana Soundtrack ? And once again the vehicle for Billy Ray Cyrus' daughter stays at number one.

Oh God I just realized something?This is the new High School Musical! Oh my god no!

! A new reign of darkness hath came upon us all, and it burst forth from the loins of Billy Ray!!

Woe be the people!! WOE!

!!!

!!
2.

Barry Manilow, The Greatest Songs Of The Sixties ? You mean that the combination of Barry Manilow and sixties music weren't enough to make it to number one? I am shocked.

No seriously, I'm not being sarcastic I'm legitimately shocked. If he can beat Stephen Colbert than Hanna fuckin' Montana should have been a cakewalk.
3.

Birdman Lil' Wayne, Like Father Like Son ? Birdman? There's a rapper named Birdman?

How the hell do you get any credibility in the rap game with a moniker like Birdman? Jesus.
4.

John Legend, Once Again ? Ah bland R B, the ol' standby.
5.

Justin Timberlake, Futuresex/Lovesounds ? It's like mood music for Robocop to busy with the Bionic Woman to.
6.

My Chemical Romance, The Black Parade ? Fear the emo marching band! For when they march it is not for victory, but for angst!

7. The Who, Endless Wire ? Yeah, ya see this is why most oldie rock bands refrain from releasing new stuff.

That whole "tarnishing the legacy" thing. I worry about the new Pixies stuff, I worry much indeed.
8.

Meat Loaf, Bat Out Of Hell III: The Monster Is Loose ? The only thing Meat Loaf ever did right was chopped up by a chainsaw wielded by Tim Curry in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. That and "Bob Had Bitchtits" in Fight Club.

And maybe his role as Jack Black's dad in Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny depending upon whether or not that movie rocks or sucks.
9. Kellie Pickler, Small Town Girl ?

Aww crap, another American Idol loser won a contract? And it was one of the lesser talented ones too? Damn you reality show juggernaut!

10. Deftones, Saturday Night Wrist ? What the hell does that even mean?

Saturday Night Wrist? That doesn't even make any sense! Dammit Serj Tankian why you bother with such crap!

Go sing about how the war sucks!
11. Hinder, Extreme Behaviour ?

You are the crotch rot of modern music.
12. Evanescence, The Open Door ?

While I would certainly tap Amy Lee given the chance, I must say she has a very round face. It's like a full circle. Seriously, if you want a good Amy Lee costume, just poke some eyeholes and draw a gloomy face on a Styrofoam plate.

Aww, I should have come up with that on Halloween. Damn.
13.

Beyonce, B'Day ? My guess is all that talk of Jay-Z making his amazing return (seriously everybody is jizzing themselves over that) gave this album a bump. But she should really stop making movies.

Playing yourself only stays fresh for so long.
14. Fergie, The Dutchess ?

I take it back, YOU are the crotch rot of modern music. Actually you know what, you and Hinder can both share the honour
15. Nickelback, All The Right Reasons ?

It's been a trying time, realizing that I genuinely hate some artists more than I hate Nickelback. I had always used Nickelback as a my measuring stick for hatred. Sure, they're still a horrible band, perhaps made even more horrible because my country seems to take great pride in the fact that they're from here.

Then again we still think Tom Cochran is a big deal up here so what the hell do we know. So Chad and the gang, although you still are complete and total ass, you are not the most complete and totalest of ass. And for that you can take pride in.

16. Tony Bennett, Duets: An American Classic ? Due for another mocking from Alec Baldwin this Saturday.

17. Pitbull, El Mariel ? Great, a white crunk artist.

I'm still getting over the fact that crunk is a musical genre. Makes me a little nauseous really.
18.

Ludacris, Release Therapy ? Well Dr. Phil could certainly use a good bitchslapping.

19. Carrie Underwood, Some Hearts ? You won no love from me for winning American Idol.

But for unintentionally humiliating Faith Hill on national television? Sad as I am to do it, I have to upgrade my feelings towards her from "hate" to "mildly dislike". Keep up the good work Carrie and you might even make it to "tolerate".

Don't let me down girl.
20. Diddy, Press Play ?

The fact that a moron such as you has his own empire makes me weep.
Ah, Danielson, the master of dressing up like crazy shit. I mean the guy did wear a giant Christmas tree costume onstage.

You gotta love commitment to the craft of being a crazy Christian indie rock guru.
So of course this video has to be with Danielson and the whole famile getting all dressed up. Only instead of actual costumes, it's cardboard cutouts.

It's actually quite adorable really, with the little cutouts sliding over in front of Danielson as he mouths the lyrics and the female backups come up with cardboard signs or sheep. Although I gotta Danielson ain't so good at lip syncing. But I guess when there's things flying at you every few seconds it's harder to concentrate.

Fun video.
is up. Although it's hard not to notice since it's right there on the page IN BIG CAPITAL LETTERS!

! READ IT!!

And yes, I spelled Elvis Presley's name wrong. I've seen it spelled "Priestly" elsewhere, and I personally always thought that was the correct spelling. I'm a Beatles man!

What the hell do I care about Elvis? In fact, from now on, I'm going to spell it "Priestly" out of protest. Suck on that Lisa Marie!

is of course here this week to bring us all the education. Apparently Damien Rice's new album sucks. Which isn't that surprising, it's not like the guy is some super famous indie king.

I mean come on, the guy is most famous for a having a song in Closer. That almost won Natalie Portman an Oscar. I'm not sure we're ready to leave in a world with Academy Award Winner Natalie Portman.

Maybe someday, but not yet.
And that's the whole ballgame. I'm done for this week and am now off to embark on a journey to a special place I call Sleepytimeland.

Have a good weekend, and too all you Yankees out there a Happy Thanksgiving?Unless your Thanksgiving already happened, in which case Happy Belated Thanksgiving. Hey, we already had ours, keep track of your own holidays!

Anyhow, goodnight and au revoir.