Kevin Federline was that car wreck Wednesday night, and the House of Blues the site of the disaster, with a few curious fans (many plied with free tickets) on hand to watch him suffer. Ever since he married Britney Spears, rumors have swirled about when the couple would split. Federline took the public ridicule in stride.
He even exacerbated it by releasing a middling rap album, "Playing with Fire" (which dropped last week with the embarrassing clatter of disinterest, like a cheap plastic plate), but why should he care? After all, married to a phenomenally wealthy sex symbol, Federline always had the last laugh, right? Not anymore.
Federline's club appearance was preceded by news of Spears' divorce filings, and celebrity watchers were ready with a clever new nickname for the erstwhile K-Fed: Fed-Ex. So was the dissed and dismissed Federline's decision to go on with the show a brave response to his critics, or merely the further masochistic manifestation of the car-wreck mentality? Likely it was sheer ego that compelled him to take the stage.
Both live and on record, Federline sounds unaware of his own inadequacies as an MC, and after a solid enough start the show quickly descended into an inept and, even worse, boring spectacle. "I'm about to be a free man," crowed Federline, as if being publicly dumped was something to boast about. The set quickly took a turn for the amateurish and incoherent.
Two dancers looked plucked from a high school talent show. A hype man sang the praises of Federline like he was being paid more than K-Fed could possibly afford. And Federline sleepwalked through the set, shaking hands with people in the front row and flashing a sly smile as if acting the part of a rapper was the same things as being one.
"Dance with a Pimp?" Rote. "America's Most Hated?
" Possibly accurate, but dull. "Lose Control?" Too little, too late.
By the time the brief show finally ended, the only people ready for more were the cameramen camped outside, waiting for their exclusive shot of this ready-made has-been on his way out.
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