The season finale of So You Think You Can Dance contained 20 contestants, six judges, and one host who wasn t dressed as atrociously as usual. I don t think I ve ever written the word atrociously. I quite like it.
Don t make me angry. I might use my new word on you.
So You Think You Can Dance was on for two hours tonight.
As with all results shows, it could have been over in about five minutes. However, in a similar fashion, like ice skating and gymnastics in the Olympics, it becomes a night of fun and light spirits. The top four contestants get to perform their favorite routines for fun, not having to worry about the opinions of the six judges.
This is acceptable. It could still be trimmed down to one hour, but I can t very well complain a mere 15 minutes into the show.
Benji and Heidi danced the cousin-licious mambo.
It s a good routine with a good song, but made ever creepier by the foreboding cloud of incest hanging over the duo. It was fun to watch, though. People sure can move their bodies in interesting ways.
K-Fed performed at the Teen Choice awards this year. Since when do teens like fellows who look like sexual predators? Boy, am I in a state tonight or what?
What s with all the nasty mental images? Maybe a bit of Pepsi Jazz and vodka will calm those demons.
Heidi s choice of dance was with Travis.
It was a give and take sort of dance involving a park bench and a hobo. Okay, maybe it wasn t a hobo. The dance worked much better if you thought of it as a loveable tramp.
Seeing through the beast to the beauty, just like the end of City Lights.
Ciara (don t ask me who she is, please) showed up to sing and dance. She has a lot of hair that blows around and gets in the way.
Half of the routine had her looking like the creepy girl from The Ring.
Donyelle and Benji danced again to their energetic song from Hairspray. Musical composers know what they are doing in regard to sculpting catchy songs.
Try and deny that statement! You can t! You are powerless.
And once you understand that, you have no power, you are finally free. What? Vodka, this is all your fault!
Where was that mute button? Annie Lenox did not need to assault my ears like this.
There were 60 million votes for the top four dancers, but there was no time to dwell on that.
The top 20 dancers were dancing like zombies all of a sudden! I love zombies. In fact, check out what is !
Excuse me while I try and get five minutes of sleep during the obligatory montage of people who had been voted off.
Holy crap! After a short little routine, Heidi was let go.
We had one hour left to eliminate two more people. That s one person per half hour. Fresh from rejection, Heidi was dancing on stage with Travis in his favorite performance of the season.
The flamingo. Er, I mean flamenco.
After a short solo, Donyelle was out.
That left 45 minutes to kick out either Travis or Benji. You used a full loaf of bread to soak up the last bit of oil from a plate at the fancy Italian restaurant.
Martha and Travis danced to ldquo;Steam Heat rdquo;.
Don t be confused. They were not performing under the power of steam, like an olde tyme train. That was the name of a song.
Anyway, Martha had arms resembling a man s. It made me nervous.
Benji and Tavis have both danced solo by this point in the show.
There was nothing left to do but give one of them the boot. But first, Fergie. She provided us with a wonderfully uninspired song and performance to break up the excitement of the season finale.
And then there was a rather boring performance to a Chicago musical number by the top 20 dancers. It s better to fade away than to burn out?
It s surprising how similar a made up word like burgervore and two separate words like burger whore sound.
Good work, advertisers for Wendy s. You really thought that one through.
And the winner of So You Think You Can Dance was Travis!
I mean, Benji!
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