When a reader goes through the trouble of spending hours tinkering around in MS Paint to create a fan-art masterpiece , we have no choice but to share it with you. Behold, the . (Click the photo for a larger version.
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If you watch just one video of amusing herself by babbling semi-coherently about the tabloid media that's ruining her life into a paparazzi agency's video camera,
· Kiefer Sutherland savagely bites Forest Whitaker in a !
After a five-hour meeting with their attorneys present, Spears and Federline signed "a global settlement on all issues of their marriage," said Michael Sands, a spokesman for Federline's attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan. Sands declined to elaborate on terms of the settlement, saying only that it covers child custody and financial matters. Spears' attorney, Laura Wasser, declined to comment.It will surely go down as a memorable spring of rebirth for Spears, fresh from a rehab-renewal and now unencumbered by America's Most Handout-Hungry. Still, wherever the two choose to go from here (probably to a Vegas nightclub), they will forever be bound by their two, young sons, who, God willing, will be able to overcome the hardships of childhood divorce and go on to lead fulfilling lives themselves, possibly as the stars of a "lifestyles of the children of the formerly famous" reality series of their own.
Star magazine reports that the in-patient currently occupying rooms 1 through 14 of Promises Malibu may be the facility's most legally wired, with vast amounts of high fructose corn syrup and caffeine constantly coursing through her veins, courtesy of the reportedly : "Usually when a patient eats [a lot of] sugar," adds the source, "it means that they are coming down from a drug that kept them really up, like cocaine or speed." And Britney is definitely chowing down on the sweets. "She has been drinking tons of Coca-Cola -- about two cases a day, or 24 Cokes in 24 hours. She drinks one after the other!
" a source tells Star. [..
.] But Coke binges are just part of Brit's sugar fix. "She is also constantly eating lollipops and other hard candy, and when she eats food, it's always something sweet, like danishes or donuts or cake or cookies.
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· Sadly, not even a special 100 Movies That Would Be Better If Marky Mark Starred In Them Issue was able to stop Premiere's circulation slide, forcing Hachette Filipacchi . Their , however, will live on with all the fun bloggiebays and interactive pollamajigs that the kids love so much these days.
the Hollywood Reporter's newsroom.
· that the suspicious lacerations on his hand were caused by running it along Teri Hatcher's razor-sharp, bony ass.
· transfers his membership in the to one in the Truly, this is a new hero for these uncertain times.
Now what fun that you can't shave yourself?
With is rumored to be occupying an "entire wing" of Promises Malibu (writes one incredulous reader: "There are no 'wings' at promises. It is a with 3 bedrooms for 6 people with a pool house that they throw 4 people in, and a bedroom that hosts 5-10 staff members crammed in a corner,") scattered reports had Britney on an authorized furlough from the grounds for a , and returning with her nose buried in a .
TMZ now has the EXCLUSIVE! details on Spears' recent $3000 online spending spree (feel free to immerse yourself in the complete, brand-whoring experience ). But could all this conspicuous consumption simply be a smokescreen for the dark events that are really going down behind Promises' walls?
Citing pillar of British journalistic credibility News of the World, The Sydney Daily Telegraph reports about the alleged head-spinning and projectile pea soup :
The ordeal began when she terrified staff by writing the number of the beast on her head and running around the clinic screaming, "I am the anti-christ!" "The clinic people just didn't know what to do," a friend claimed.
Please, nothing.
We can call an Angelina pic blurred down to a single, grey pixel from 10 yards. [via ]
We know you've been on pins and needles since of Dancing with the Stars. Well, sleep easy: has come in to replace him.
Britney , and becomes totally engrossed in that really captures her rehab experience.
Mmmm..
.Chicken ..
.
Details continue to trickle from within the gated, seaside facility known as Promise Malibu, inside which battles her impulse-humoring demons (HairRecoveryWatch: .4 inches and counting!
). Following Friday's from ex-husband Kevin Federline, that Spears' shatter-resistant children Sean Preston and Jayden James have also dropped by; their initial distress at seeing their shorn mom was quickly allayed once she handed them a box of color Sharpies and let them go to town on her scalp. The Scoop also notes that Spears has opted to spare no expense during her stay there, booking a whole wing of the recovery center :
The "Toxic singer" reportedly booked an entire wing for herself at Promises, the Malibu clinic where she's hoping to detox."She wants all the rooms on her wing," a source told the London Sun. "It will cost her hundreds of thousands."
, during her Oscar acceptance speech, saved the sexytime talk for Oprah.
Oh, to be one of her breast-cupping seraphim!
You know what might have been the most exciting thing about these brain-smoothingly boring ?
over whether Ellen DeGeneres was dull or unfunny.
We always had it feeling that who first presented us with physical evidence of the historical Jesus Christ. He never lets us down.
Travolta's hair stylist sought inspiration , but one really can't argue with the stunning results.
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