Cutting to the Chase: April 2005

Ramblings on politics, film, music, literature, current events, pop culture, lists, dirty words, trapezoids, birds, cartoons and any other damned thing that strikes my synapses. A 39ish-year-old freelance journalist and writer living with his wife and baby daughter in the hardscrabble environs of Oklahoma, Chase McInerney now spends much of his time frozen in stark, cold sweat-inducing, gut-percolating fear. For it will be soon .

.. yes, very, very soon.

Crumbs and Stuff, Take 7

Who needs Mickey Mouse? might not be the most lovable and furry mascot, but that won't keep him from being the focal point for , an amusement park currently under construction in England. Built at a cost of more than $113 million, it will feature rides and attractions based on the life and works of the immortal author.

reports that the amusement park "will recreate the Victorian era, when children worked in sweatshops ...

"

Insert antiquated joke here.

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One of the more bizarre blogs I've come across as of late is Check it out. It's difficult to describe the site's premise, other than to say the author needs treatment -- and thank God for his readers that he's not receiving any.

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Some , particularly the Elvis Costello/Police/Peggy Lee concoction "Wrapped Detective." (Thanks to for the heads-up).

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And just for the inspirational heck of it, some to soothe your noir soul (and thanks to , which, come to think of it, is also a mighty irresistibly eclectic Web site).

Whatever Happened to Randolph Dial? The Corrected Version OK, looks like my hopes have been dashed.

It now appears that Bobbi Parker actually and is reuniting with her family. Oh, well ..

. it was a beautiful dream while it lasted.

Whatever Happened to Randolph Dial? As frustrating as I find Oklahoma on occasion, I will say one thing for my home state: We sure have great crime stories.

More than 10 years ago, a convicted murderer named Randolph Dial escaped from a state prison in Granite, Okla.

, with the wife of a deputy warden. Dial was a trusty in charge of the prison arts program, while the woman, Bobbi Parker, was the prison art program's coordinator.

Now, the FBI reports that the star-crossed pair in East Texas.

Dial and Parker were running several chicken farms. Dial was taken into custody, but Parker -- who claims she was kidnapped and held prisoner for 10 years (yeah, right) -- wasn't arrested.

" 'As far as I know, she has no intention of leaving,' Shelby County Sheriff Newton Johnson said late Monday.

'She said she wants to stay on the farm and raise chickens.'

"However, Johnson said Bobbi Parker asked an FBI agent about her daughters and husband, Randy Parker. She appeared healthy and unharmed, the sheriff said.

"

The whole thing screams out for a made-for-TV movie.

Poor Randy Parker. Now, we may be wrong about this whole scenario, but it doesn't appear to get much more cuckolded -- in a sort of way -- than being dumped by your wife of 12 years for a convicted murderer.

To make matters worse, Dial, who was housed in a minimum-security prison, was doing yard maintenance for the Parker family at the time of his escape. The scene of the shirtless, rough-talking convict asking the warden's comely wife for a glass of cold lemonade practically writes itself.

Moreover, Dial was an accomplished artist whose forte was pottery.

Anyone remember that from Ghost?

I'm tellin' yah: Made-for-TV movie.

FADE IN .

..

EXT -- RURAL FARMHOUSE -- DAY

Chickens scatter about, kicking up DUST, as we see the STILETTO HEELS of a woman traipse across the yard.

She is dropping chicken feed for the squawking birds when she stops at the distant sound of POLICE SIRENS ...

Ooohh ...

this has potential...