Its that time again for me to speak my mind, this place is the only place these days I can reflect on whatever is going on since I know certain people dont read this or at least I dont thinkt hey do, if they did I am sure they would have ran down on me already.
Can't say things have been bad for me this week. Its been a week that just breezed through, it was filled with solid work, this comming week will be a sequel to that.
Most of the week at Petcetera was actually very good, very laid back until Thursday, the boss was in charge that day and i must say she reall was cracking the whip on me as if I was lazy or something yes I have been in a way slacking off in a way but the thing is when there is "work" to do I am constantly doing it, but when there isn't I dont really do anything i mean what is there to do when there is no work I walk around andw ait for customers to ask me questions there is not many customers in the morning so I am usually in the backroom listening to the radio doing some cleaning up or marking off rotten maggot fill cat gravy, so I am still working. However I did work hard regardless throwing around 50 pound bags all over the place. I dont mind bosses who are strict i can understand I just hate it when they treat me like a fucking child when I dont.
I honestly think I get in shit because the other hardlines guy who usually does the nights is the lazy one and I guess she beleives its my responsbility and maybe it is maybe it isn't. But the thing is I just go in and work my 6.5 hours.
I dont know she bitches at me for the stupidest things like the buttons being on in the wrong place or not taking my breaks and the right times, that sort of thing.
The spagetti Factory is an ok place but there are times where I hate everyone there because again they treat me like a child sometimes, one guy says this is how you clean this then 2 days later i work with another guy who thinks that way is wrong and the other is better. Is it that i act like a child these days i dont beleive so in fact I act like i always act I kee to myself and work my ass off.
But i must say however my temper has been coming back at full force these days mostly because of alot of things adding up, loneliness, fustration that comes from that, lack of sleep, the same 7 songs played twice every hour and its like that for 7 hours, 5 days a week for me, none of them are very good inf act they are all songs I hate alot (espacially that "this is why I'm hot" song, god I hate that song with a passion.). I guess they call where i work the pit because everyone throws there shit in it.
I feel like a soldier in the trenches constantly under rapid fire whether its those white mini seives that the cookes use to cook pagetti noodles and to drain them for a plate serving or their frying pans. its the waiters and waitresses that constantly. The waitresses and waiters are usually snobby but then most of them are out of work actors and such.
Me being the creepy anti social type I am just a ghost but honestly its better that way but they are annoying to me because always act like their needs are greater than anyone elses, even though in the end the only people I answer to is the head cook and the supervisor I dont have to answer to anyone else but I do regardless. For the amount of work I do I should have another person but I dont thesed ays because we are under staffed and it will help my speed, I feel I am fast enough but I wish they would play the rock station or find a station that would play more than the same 7 songs.
I dont mind my job to tell you the truth it is a good job but i am just finding things to talk about, on thursday the first half of the day I thought I had it made but then many had their parties come in and I got swamped that by closing my whole work area was covered with.
...
..stuff.
I literally had to have the head cook help me with it. yesterday I worked a morning shift and I couldn't get this chunk of lasagne off a plate I then used the icecream tray which is standardly use for this sort, I pushes to hard and cut m thumb pretty badly, it still looks somewhat gross but I will live its not a bad thing but it seems like everyone freaks over the sight of blood where I work and say man that must hurt without trying to act arrogant i just say its jsut a scratch I just need a bandaid for it and a finger condom (what they call their latex gloves for specific fingers for this sort of thing.
My schedual will mostly be the same for this week
Sunday
5 to 12:30 or longer depending the business at OSF
Monday
8am to 3pm at petcetera
off for the rest of the day will take the rest of the day to watch the rest of the movies i haven't bee able to finish as well as maybe clean my room, its so hard to keep my room clean it isn't like I try to mess it up it just ends up being so there is only so much you can do with a room that is about the size of a cubicle 10 X 10 room
Tuesday to thursday
8am to 3pm at petcetera
then a small break
5:30 to 12:30 at OSF or later or quickly depending on how busy it was and how productive I was
Friday
Off, so that means since it seems like the girl I went with last week is too busy now which probably means I fucked that up I will spend thius day with moves and cleaning my room or maybe the rest of the house since no one likes or wants to do that sort of thing
Saturday
10am to 5pm I work at the OSF
rest of the day movies and whatever
The sunday after I dont know yet.
To tell you the truth I wouldn't want no real schedual changes but it doesn't really matter to me I guess.
Me and Rj have been talking more which is good but I always call him and the wrong time and he calls me and a wrong time I guess, oh well. As for the comic girl I went to her store on friday and funny enough she seemed to be more intereste din talking to me no, I guess probably because we haven't really spoken in 2 weeks I think.
I told her my schedual for this coming week and of course i ask if she wanted to do something and of course nothing but what I didn find out is that if I stayed at one bar for an hour more i would have seen her there I guess that sort of angers me as well but she told me it was a girls night out so she wouldn't have hung out with me, I told her her changces are i wouldn't have been good to hang out with at that point because of being angry at that point, I told her of the birthday thing.
So this coming saturday I could be doing something with her, I shouldn't hold my breath she will probably forget or cancel it. Women claim to be smarter than men and maybe so but I must say it seems liek these days women have shitty memory or maybe its stuff with me they just want to forget or I am just that weird guy who wants to hang out with me type.
Alas all women hate me and I am sure most would like to see me put to a wall and shot by a firing squad, I would still want to kill myself again these days the loneliness fo rme is just to sad that its left me pretty much empty and emotionless accept for bouts of anger.
But then I dont really have time for friends anymore or a girlfriend if I was that lucky, I dont even really have time for myself anymore or much less sleep.
in better news me and Kat seemed to have found peace with each other.
When I thrown the first stone about saturday I expect the same instead I didn;t get that instead she sent me a message apologizing about the whole thing saying it was a shitty thing she did and that she owes me pizza or ice cream.well here is what she said.
Hey Corey,
I just want to apologize for last Saturday.
I ended up staying home and fell asleep (before, during your calls). So i'm sorry for somewhat standing you up. If it makes you feel any better I had to apologize a bit today to other ppl around school.
So I hope there are no hard feelings and if there are, completely understandable. I forgot you lived so far out there and it's not fair for you. Sorry again and I owe you either a slice of pizza or some icecream!
! I serioulsy mean that! sorry again Corey.
Hope you're doing well.
Take care
Kat
In the beginning I said I accepted it but then I wanted to say that her word doesn't mean that much to me, because it doesn't but in the end i decided I dont want anymore enemies anymore, this is a olive branch even though I doubt she will come through on her word or not or even talk to me again I doubt in fact I doubt she will ever talk to me again but at least there is peace. In the end i dont trust anyone or take anyone for their word, what people say to me I do take ot heart more than it should but when it comes to promises or words they mean less than spit because I cant remember the last time anyone kept their promise to me.
i know I am not a perfect person I still owe Yash a dinner which I should have paid for on my birthday but I was too drunk to remember and he should have reminded me but I figure he forgot as well or he didn't want to do it. But regardless its mostly like when a waiter came to me when I had the whole counter full of dishes and stuff and he said if there was a possiblity that i could clean this tray up before i cleaned everything else and clean it now, here I was having my lunch that I didn't get at the time I was supposed to get inf act I didn't eat the whole day and we closed already, he knew it, but me being the god damn bitch that I am clean it for him and he said thanks man I owe you won and I said "yeah so does everyone else." that is how i see it.
I told her that int he end I think it was for the best if there was one I dont think she would have wanted me there for the fact that well lets say she knows what I am like she told me it wasn't to be a bdparty anyone it was a everyone party and i am still a person and so I was invited.
Honestly the thing is even if she does want to be freidns with me and would probablystart treating me like a person as she says she beleives I am I doubt I could ever treat her as a friend because every time I am in her presence or I am writing message I have to argue with myself to say to her "I love you" or "fuck you, I hate you." that is how it is I cant even look at her eyes even if its a picture, we all know why I dont know why anymore I honesty dont htink it would help.
Even though right now I really need a friend these days in my presence since mentally I am as weak and empty as ever. Financially I am recovering, slowly but surely. Physcially I feel weak all of time anger being the only boost for me, I have been getting chest pains again reflective of my old chestrol fighting days which is weird because I still thin with a six packa nd I am getting chest pains, not that i care.
If I had a heart attack these days it would be good since I don thave a will to live anymore I haven't had one in a while the only times where I felt alive were i guess when others that I would want to take notice to my living essence paid attension but when all I do is work and be around people I would rather punch than talk to, go home and sleep wake up and do the same, why bother living but I do because I am still a coward. I hate my body for fighting the poison that sunday night I guess me and my body are at odds.
Well time for work its like I am still in fort mcmurray again.
I want to get a placer of my own in time I might be able to afford but honestly it would cut my expenses and honestly would it matter I dont spend much time at home unless I am sleeping but then at least i would have a place and a tv to myself. I dont know nothing seems like its a good idea.
70 "Odd Questions"
[1] What is your middle name?
Wayne
[2] what color is your mailbox?
black
[3] Are you single?
Yes.
[4] Have you ever hit a deer?
No, I almost hit a mother duck on the highway, scarred me for the rest of the drive
[5] Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home?
Nope, go on a bus over a bridge
[6] What color is your room?
Brown
[8] Do you have a small driveway?
Yes
[9] Do you know anyone with the same ringtone as you?
I have heard one or two
[10] What do you do first in the morning?
What do men do when they wake up and have that “feeling”
[11] What brand is your printer?
HP
[12] Do you enjoy fighting with people?
No
[13] Is your hair naturally straight or curly?
Straight
[14] Who was your kindergarten teacher?
Mrs. Baxter, I gave her a nervous breakdown, I tend to do that to women
[15] What is your ringtone ?
it’s a sharp ring
16] Are you taller than your mom?
Yes
[17] What curse word do you say the most when your pissed?
Dammit
[18] Are you God?
No I am Judas
[19] Do you like someone?
I like many women but they don’t like me back in fact most of them if not all hate or fear me
[20] Do you enjoy writing in colored pens?
yes
21] Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My fingers are somewhat swollen
[22] Do you often cry during a movie?
Depends on my mood
[23] Last phone call you recieved?
My parents
[24] Last text message?
From someone you don’t know
[25] Do you hate your life?
Yes I do
[26] Do you get mad easily?
Somewhat, these days I do, my anger has been rising easily lately
[28] What is your biggest pet peeve?
Ignorance and stupidity
[29] Are you cold?
Inside I am
[30] Do any of your friends have kids?
No
[31] Do you know anyone that is pregnant right now?
My cousin
[32] Who should pay on the first date?
I do I always do, but then I dof or friends most of time as well, I am bitch for everyone
[33] How many years older than you are you willing to date?
As long as its legal and older wise I don’t know since I know no one will love me I don’t really give a damn
[34] Do you have any friends?
Not really, I have people I talk to but I don’t have anyone to truly confide in
[35] Do you have any mean friends?
One was a friend but is not anymore or if anything now is on probationary friendship, but she is the meanest
[36] What is the ugliest color to wear in your opinion?
Any color can look good it depends on how you wear it, apparently I wear purple very well
[37] Have you ever liked someone who all your friends hate?
I don’t have friends so what bother with this one and if I did have them that they didn’t like then that is tough shit I don’t rag on their relationships
[38] Have you ever felt like driving off a cliff, seriously?
Yes, or for me diving or jumping, walking or running, dying mostly I think of all the time and regret not doing it every day
[39] Have you ever contemplated suicide?
Number 38 answered that
[40] Do you scratch your ears?
sometimes
[41] Who was the last person to hug you?
Carrie
[42] What brand are the pant/jeans you're wearing right now?
I usually wear Nevada
[43] How tall are you?
5’8”
[44] What is the closest green object?
Peanut butter jar
[45] What is on your feet?
socks
[46] If you were born the opposite sex, what would your parents name you?
Trina
[48] Do you want to have kids?
No, we don’t need more of me around
[49] What is the brightest color you're wearing?
white
[50] Who is the friend you have that you would never have expected to have?
I don’t have any
[51] Who do you hate the most right now?
everyone
[52] Whats your mothers middle name?
shirley
[53] What kind of car do you want?
I want one of those vans that ar elike trucks but not SUVs. Or I guess those love childs of a motorhome and a van. So I could live in it and move out of this house.
[54] What is your favorite video game?
Sonic Adventure
[55] Do you like your dad?
Nowadays we get along, just because he knows he cannot intimidate me anymore, or I think he realizes that driecting is where I want to be and should be probably because before the 48hour contest I was nervous wreck probably ready to kill myself at any point and he knew it and couldn’t do anything about it, after Id riected the 48 hour thing I was different or for awhile happy.
I guess that was when he stopped ragging on me
[56] Do you have any TV shows on DVD?
Yes, many
[57] Are you wearing make-up?
I am a guy and I will never wear make up
[58] Do you have a tattoo?
No, I want one though
[59] Have you ever broken a pinata?
Yes, I am Corey The Beast Bussey I can break anything you give me a wooden stick as a kid and I could smash shit up
[60] What time is it right now?
12:02 I should go to sleep
[61] Do you know how to draw?
I used to in a way but I was bad then, now I am worse.
[62] Who loves orange soda?
I do I just had some
[63] Who is your hero?
I don’t believe in heroes but if I did it would be Henry Rollins
[64] Who did you last IM?
Carrie
[65] Do you work a lot of hours?
54 hours or so a week
[66] Where were you in the last 24 hours?
At work
[67] Who was the last person that called you?
parents
[68] Is there anything you regret?
Living and not being more honest with people I have decided to be less truthful these days because I am not in the mood to make more enemies anymore
[69] Do you know where your family name originated from?
Scotland is where the Busseys came from. My blood parents came from Germany and France
[70] Is there an animal that creeps you out?
Snakes or spiders
THIRTEEN RANDOM THINGS YOU LIKE
1: Movies
2: rock and roll
3: hard rock
4: power metal
5: old school metal
6: old school anime
7: Drumming
8: orange soda
9: Root beer
10: spaghetti
11: penne
12: Pepsi
13: Molson Canadian
TWELVE MOVIES
1: American Splendor
2: Punch Drunk Love
3: Being john Malkovich
4: Sabrina
5: Sideways
6: Bringing Out The Dead
7: Little Miss Sunshine
8: Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind
9: Mask (not the Jim Carrey one)
10: Spider Man 2
11: The Lady Eve
12: Art School Confidential
ELEVEN GOOD BANDS/ARTISTS
1: AC/DC
2: Neil Young
3: Elvis Costello
4: Blind Guardian
5: Evergrey
6: Iced Earth
7: Motorhead
8: Rollins Band
9: Janice Ian
10: Threshold
11: George Harrison
TEN THINGS ABOUT YOU
1: OCD
2: Psychotic
3: Depressed
4: Unique
5: Sick
6: impatient
7: quiet
8: Shy
9: anti social
10: stubborn
NINE PEOPLE YOU TALKED TO YESTERDAY (i dont talk i text)
1: Megan
2: Kat in a way on myspace
3: librarian
4: my dad
5: Rj
6: the other comic person
7:
8:
9:
EIGHT FAVORITE FOODS
1: Spaghetti
2: penne
3: steak
4: Lasagne.
5: cinnamon bun
6: white cake
7: ginger bread cookies
8: veggie burger
SEVEN THINGS YOU WORE TODAY
1: AC/DC Back In Black t-shirt
2: blue jeans
3: my British hat
4: grey breifs
5: grey socks
6: black socks (after work)
7: my dish washer clothes
SIX THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU
1: Snobby people
2: ignorant people.
3: people who play on stereotypes
4: inconsiderate people
5: cheaters
6: laziness
FIVE THINGS YOU TOUCH EVERY DAY
1: keyboard
2: mouse
3: Bed
4: dishes
5: my hair (to wash)
FOUR TV SHOWS YOU WATCH REGULARLY
1: I don’t watch tv
2: --
3: --
4: --
THREE FAVORITE ACTORS/ACTRESSES
1: Christian Bale
2: Kristen Dunst
3: Paul Giamatti
TWO MOST RECENT PEOPLE YOUVE KISSED
1: no one
2:
ONE PERSON YOU COULD SPEND YOUR LIFE WITH
1: I am forever alone
01. What does the sky currently look like?
cloudy
02. What is going on outside?
raining like hell, its vancouver, all it does is rain
03.
Would you like to find out more about your ancestors?
If I knew anything about my blood parents first
04. How many xangas do you have?
0
05. What was the meanest comment you ever got on xanga?
or not.
06. Do you or dont you celebrate Halloween?
I dont
07.
Do you think it is pointless?
if i had people to share it with it wouldn't be but I dont so why bother
08. Who do you miss right now?
lots of people.
09. What was the last drink you drank?
gatorade
010. Name some good survey sites:
011. Who was the last friend you fought with and what was it about?
My cousin Amie
012. Do you have scented candles around your bedroom?
no
013.
Has anyone ever told you that you smell funny?
no but people say i smell nice every once in awhile
014. Do you plan what your future home will look like?
I just imagine a space as big as my basement again if I could have my basement here i would be happy.
015. What was your haircut like when you were 11 years old?
I was trying to grow it long back then
016. Have you ever had peroxide blonde hair?
no
017.
Are you scared of old places?
not really
018. Would you ever be alone in a graveyard at night?
sure
019. What would you do if; an old woman started yelling at you in the street, then walked off, and tripped and fell on her face? Would you help her up or laugh?
I would try and help her and then tell her serves her right
020. What do you think of the Rocky Horror picture show?
never seen it
021.
Name a good layout site:
I dont know
022. What kind of TV shows do you like to watch?
I dont watch tv
023.
Do you admire Simon Cowells honesty?
just goes to show how painful honesty is
024. How many cars does your family own?
three if you include the motorhome
025. What does your sibling do to really irritate you?
i don't have any siblings.
026. Do you like antiques?
no.
027. Do you approve or disapprove of hunting?
in moderation, I believe in hunting for hunger not for game
028.
What do you think of when I say - Doggy Style?
the sexual position
029. Whats for dinner tonight?
spagetti, I am working tonight
030. How often do you brush your hair?
when its a mess
031.
Are you wearing make up?
no
032. What do you look like without make up?
horrible if you seen me in grade 3 when my teacher made me wear make up for aplay I cried my eyes out
033. What did you play with when you were little?
instrument wise I played the bell choir, 2 years later the drums, 2 years later a bit of guitar.
034. Are you interested in serial killers?
no
035.
What was the last movie you saw and what did you think of it?
Cabaret, it was an alright movie
036. What was the scariest movie you ever saw?
Amityvile Horror I think or nightmare On Elm Street
037. Who was the last friend you hung out with and what did you do together?
Tyler, we finished editing and stuff
038.
Have you ever met anyone off myspace or xanga?
yes
039. Have you ever been stalked online?
no I am not stalking material
040. What about in real life?
again not stalking material
041.
What shop would you not be caught dead in?
a girls shop
042. Have you ever had a caramel frappachino from Starbucks?
I dont have coffee or anything of the sort
043. Do you know anyone who smells of really bad BO and doesnt know it?
One has had bad BO but not on all occasions usually becaus ethe guy smoked too much
044.
Have you ever had a major operation?
no
045. What is the headline on your myspace?
dont have one
046. Do you always apply moisturiser to your face before applying foundation?
I am a guy
047.
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
it seems I can only get 8 anymore even when I can sleep in
048. Do you ever use the word CUNT or do you think its disrespectful towards women?
no I say bitch
049. Who is the most annoying person youve ever met?
I probably cant remember who but currently its this guy who comes in acting like hot shit everytime he is in the kitchen singing to the music which I hate already and he makes it worse by singing it.
He throws the utensils int he worng place and all sorts of stuff. It pisses me off,m but then most of the waitresses and waiters piss me off except for one or two waitresses who are actually nice to me, the rest are pretty snobbish and annoyng.
050.
Do you like bubble baths?
sure but I haven't had one in 2 years or more
051. Do you read in the bath?
no I shower
052. What is your favourite reading genre?
if it is a good story I am all eyes or ears
053.
When was the last time you used the bathroom?
a few minutes ago
054. When was the last time you had a white Christmas?
2006 but it was a lonely christmas
055. Do you look forward to Christmas or dread it?
i dont care too much for it since i know I wont be home for christmas, I have no home
056.
Are you hot, warm, or cold?
cold inside and out
057. What was the weirdest dream youve ever had?
I have nothing but weird dreams
058. Are puppies or kittens cuter?
puppies are cuter by far
059.
What was the last thing you got depressed about?
my loneliness and how all women look the same to me these days
060. Do you like oral sex?
cant say
061. What was the last thing your pet did to annoy you?
bark like crazy
062.
Have you ever had earache?
yes
063. Do you stay home sick a lot?
nope.
064. Have you ever seen the show MOST HAUNTED?
nope.
065. What is the closest thing to you that is green?
a CD
066. What is the closest book to you called?
I sent my books to the library so I dont have any here
067.
Are you wearing jewellery?
no
068. What time is it?
2:23PM
069. What are you going to do now?
make a blog then get ready for work
070.
What are your plans for tonight?
work what else can I do
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