Also I have been writing down the music that has inspired images of this movie in my head.In a perfect world I would like to be able to have this music in my movie, but I know it will be impossible since its extremely expensive. I know it might as well be a autobiography.
1. Shot Down In Flames by AC/DC - How can I have a movie I am making without AC/DC, its like a CD store without CDs. I would have this over my opening credits
2.
Addicted To Love by Robert Palmer - I think of when I was extremely horny going after women you know that HMV time when I was asking all sorts out and so on, showing just too desparation.
3. Cinnamon Girl by Neil Young - intro to the Kat character.
It would be her theme in it
4. Between The Devil And the Deep Blue Sea by George Harrison - End credits, or the end of the film like I said yesterday
5. Come Dancing by The Kinks - remembering the childhood
6.
Overkill by Motorhead - My angry asshole part (plus I need metal in this)
7. Square One by Tom petty- aftermath the trying to see the sunny part of all the bullshit, or aka the day after graduation walking home in plus 30 while i am still wearing my tuxito, I need a slow song on here
8. Do You Wanna Touch by Jona Jett - My dream sequence when I am Tarzan, I will leave it at that, its in my head and its not what you think in fact, its worse its a Corey dream hehe
9.
She Sells Sanctuary by The Cult - Trying to impress the girl
10. Layla by Eric Clapton - The MEgan/coworker character
11. The Loner by Rollins Band - I would wnat Henry Rollins to cover a Neil young song or have his band come up with something similar.
12. At Seventeen by Janis Ian - after rejection
Only 12 songs mostly for the fact that most soundtracks only have 12 songs on it and I figure the most i could condense it the better I guess.
These are the songs that get me into the mood.
How was my day it was ok, worked, got some geoceries, mostly that is it. Tomorrow will be the start of another gauntlet run. I am working with the guy who is more silent than I am tomorrow mostly because his english is bad but hey he helps me get the work done and that is all I ask.
There is two girls in the spag that say ehllo to me all of the time, anytime they see me for the first time in the day they say hello and they say goodbye I just shyly nod or quietly say hello in my fashion I wonder why they keep doing that. My ego can say they like me but I will easily just say they are trying to be nice, that is what i am figuring i am sick of going after women just because they are nice to me. I am starting to hate the nice girls anyway because there is no such thing most girls who act nice only do it so they can convince themselves that they are nice.
I have know many women (Kat, Tamara-well not so much her, Steph, Ashley 2 Ms, Amanda, Stacey, I can go on and on)who act nice but as soon as you get to truly know them they are bitches But then all of them are bitches since I hate women. I just try to learn self control these days. One of the girl though I am attracted to but looking at her i know she is too old for me and I think she is only nice to me because everyone knows I am aspiring director and she is an actress so she is nice to me so just incase she can get on the gravy train if I got big, which is unlikely but thenshe would be investing in me like the stock market, since i have always been the work horse for all women anyway being used all of the time.
As for the other I dont know what is on her mind all I know is she is one ditzy woman I mean she reminds me of Steph, I can guess she is still in her valley girl phase but probably says hello to me to like i say convince herself that she is not a snob.
Its so hard to find good women these days and all of the ones there are taken or far away from me, not to mention one look at me and they go running.
Kat made a new blog again, she has always been an obivious type, I wish I could tell her off but i need her as a connection some day to make one of my movies.
but then I doubt she would ever help me and if that was the case I would tell her off right there taking i had enough booze in me. Everytime I think about her i get depressed and think about suicide as if if I cant have her I dont wan tto live anymore, that is a stupid thought i know and I dont know hy it keeps coming up I wish I could erase her from my mind like Eternal Sunshine Of the spotless mind, I mean they would go from the worst memories to the best, what best memories all the best memories were false hope ideals that with enough time she could see me for me, just like MEgan but both similar it would never hapen no matter what. it makes me want to kill myself all of the time i think about it all of the time, but i dont i guess its like shaving my head again id ont know.
Tyler says if I wanted to do it i would have done it already even though I already did it and should have been dead but I am not. I am jus tlooking ofr an answer right now why should i continue to live? That is the question iw ant answered, the only answe ri can come up with is to make my movie which in itself is a false hope like everything is it certainly is to to live and per haps find a person because I know that wont happen.
I know this girl ha "likes" me I bet sh eonly said that to make me feel better and first chance she gets she will cheat, or chances are I will be too much of a boring person or I will barelly be there for her because of my work schedual. Either way I am fucked.
I might be going out with that other girl again on Monday to see Grindhouse, I dont know what to think I want to get my head out of the mud and give this one a shot, but quite honestly I am not going tothrow lines out anymore.
anyways I am done now
mood:
 
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