Had my first cigar since October, it felt like the first time again, I dont have then very often it doesn't do much for me like they used to, this one was actuallu worse at least I got this one at a decent price, not that is matters if it hurts my health I have taken so much 2nd hand smoke from my mother, father, all (most) of my friends and even the women I ever loved that it doesn't matter if i start blowing smoke that my lungs will crap out on me some day, another fixture in my life I take everyones smoke.
For the first time in years i heard Waterfalls by TLC one of the few hip hop songs I like but I used to like hip hop and that stuff back when i was a teenager, not big on it but I didn't mind it to me it had more too it rythum or whatever now its just about getting laid and making money. En Vogue and TLC were the trios that I enjoyed, a whole lot better than Destiny's Child that is for sure.
but En Vogue was a four team.
ANyways news.
Friday I didn't go tot he comics place Megan was sick so we chatted for 2 hours on MSN, she got me a facebook thing, pretty rad.
Then I went to go see Tyler, went to Excalibers (a bowling,billards, bar place got more drunk than I have been in months, but productive he gave me some good notes to change my short around. Got the positive thinking speech fro Tyler again as always whenever we are both drunk he is screaming at me to break out of my shell and that I have a tiger in me that I am too afraid to let out. All that stuff that drunks do motivation.
Realase int he inner asshole
Saturday woke up wih a huge hangover, brain caught in a blender, swollen right hand from knuckle banging yo know that punching knuckles thing.
One slightly good news is that I might get a job interview for the film apprentiship thing. But it will be in BC, not in Alberta for the fact that I am here and to have a interview I got to go to Alberta which I cant afford, if anything I can afford it once through airmiles and even then I need what 6 weeks maybe notice which I know the government wont give me.
But its something but not good news its only good news to me if it lands constant work at the tail end, I dont think short term I think long term at all times.
Today I am just relaxing until 3:30 or 4 and go to work for a few hours.
monday, tuesday and wednesday petstore shit, I hate that because I deal with my boss the one who isn't satisfied with whatever I do but cant fireme because out of the 4 hardlines she has I work the hardest or the second hardest.
I think she does just for the fact that she knows she can push me around that I am toos oft spoken for my own good. I get more thanks you from her when I talk back (in the smart ass rude way)
Watching The Pursuit Of Happiness right now so far its a good movie, very realisitic, heart warming, I mean it can get really realistic and dark but so far its holding a positive tone, hopefully it will inspire me, I dont need inspiration I just need a personality transplant. Maybe to be able to write something that is worth saying.
Maybe to actually go to a club and actually talk to women instead of sitting at home eating peanut butter and crackers hating myself over the dozens of women who treated me like trash. Yeah probably find a woman who at the end I can tell my story to so when me and her meet Kat or whomever again my girl can deck Kat because i can't. Just so I can crush the ribs of the guy in my girls life, so on so on.
My parents are visiting at the end of the month. They are bringing my old refridgerator downstiars, that is good news now I dont have to fight for space. I can throw all my pop, veggie burgers (well not all but maybe 3 days worth) in there.
Starting to think about moving again since this 10 X 10 room is just too small for me and technically I can support my own apartment if I kept at what I am doing but if I get the film apprentiship I am mostly sacrificing my two jobs for something that wont pay me nearly as good but is a step in the direction I want to go. if I get that apprentiship then I got enough savings that I got fromt he last two months or so to pay for those three months and hopefully what little i do get paid with can help ease the swelling. If nothing comes out then I will work for a construction place maybe or try again in other places.
If i hit zero then its to fort mac whether I like it or not
Same old story, but that is what it is right now.
I was hoping to have my parents meet megan and both me and my dad and her can play pool, my dad can give her a better run for her money, why do I think that have her meet my parents as if I have a chance when I dont. I dont know
That is why I dont wan tot go to clubs and meet women because i am sure to only meet whores and women who just want a one night stand or some rich guy to sweep her off her feet like cinderella, I am a Quasi modo not some prince.
Well movie finished it was good
Dont really have much else to say, the new guy was fired yesterday which is more good news. So I guess its been an ok weekend not really the level of good that would truly make me smile but more of a shrug, I am content right now the movie sort of made me appreicate some things but I am a scorpio which means I cant be satisified if I was I would have decided to live a normal life and I could have but I wont I would have died by now but i haven't. It takes alot to make me smile.
Its funny how one woman could have done it and done it so well but instead chose not to yeah Kat, Meg as well but that wont happen I dont really know how to smile i might have lost it when I had belis palsy years ago but who knows. But Back In Black by AC/DC is one song that can make me feel good for 3 minutes at a time, I would liek it to be my theme still but it isn't ask me in a few years.
That is all, all I know is that I will continue to chase waterfalls till I am swallowed by one.
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