I would like to say I am in a good mood but I am not its like I have said I am either in a angry mesogynistic mood or extremely depressed to the point of tears. I am at the depression point right now because I am too tired to be angry.
I am listening to the "Concert For George" hearing his old frinds like Tom petty, Eric Clapton, Joe Brown, Jeff Lynn play his music, I honestly beleive they do it great justice to the point where I would say its better but that isn't the point since George made those songs but from just watching the concert on DVD you can tell George was there in a spiritual form I dont know.
Geroge harrison music has always been apart of my life just like Bob Seger and Meat Loaf. i knew of his solo music befor eI even knew of The beatles, I was running around to " I Got My Mind Set on You" before "Here Comes The Sun". But that is something I will have to thank Kat for, opening me to the Beatles part of his life learning of the stuff he did with The Beatles that makes me appreciate his solo stuff even more.
I am sure at one point I talked about this but its on my mind.
Here Comes The Sun - always gives me a warm feeling inside, reminds me of the good times and how far that they are from now
While My Guitar Gently Weeps - I think of the world around me when I think of this song, and I guess the world inside me. Reminds me of the only sentance I could use to describe myself "I see the best in everyone, but I assume the worst.
" I try to bring everyone around me to a higher plain but I dont trust them and I feel they are all out to fuck me over int he end which most of them have anyway.
If I Needed Someone - Reminds me of the few very few times that a friend or someone has been there for me, which is not often, inf act rare.
Here Comes The Moon - Reminds me of when I would go camping every weekend when I was a child
Got My Mind Set on You - Remindsme of how blindly I fall in love with women, and that hope fills me up, I figure it would be better than any drug but I think it hold deadlier after effects.
Dark Horse - Reminds me of High School, when Iw as a bull headed king of the anti social, the only loser that the preps and jocks couldn't intimidate in fact they feared me and that isn't bragging. reminds me of my arrogant self rightous war against all. I wish I still had that attitude its what kept me alive those days and for a while after before the wall crashed down.
What Is Life - Reminds me of Caroline or at least being in love for her, she was my first real crush. Being the frank sinatra in her life that she didn't want, but then nothing has change since then when it comes to women thinking that way.
Something - reminds me of Kat, I dont know why in a fucked up fashion I am still in love with her, I fell for her hardcore, I dont know why but when I hear this one I reminds me of her.
Love Comes To Everyone - A for as early as I was as a kid I would play this song to try and gain hope about it, now I actually hate the song because it reminds me of the hypocritical fashion I hear this from everyone I know, if I had a penny for everytime I heard it from them I would be able to fund my ownfeature right now. I would like to listen to George but no love doesn't and won come to me. but it is a good song
Cockamamie Business - getting fucked over all of the time
Thats The Way It Goes - reminds me of when things go wrong I hear "well thats life", yeah
Poor Little Girl - My attempts at getting women, or at least at the later years of high school when I was like a boxer about to get knocked out I was just punching air hoping to at least hit something but never did.
All Those Years Ago - Reminds me of Marc, one of my old best friends when I was a kid.
Handle With Care - When I find someone but befoire the hope sets in, or I gues smaybe just me on a day to day basis
Heading For Light - Reminds me of Meg, and the hope I had with her in my life in August and september under blind hope I was the happiet I was in a long time if anything, i had this song playing all of the time. I started doing stuff with her after grad, if I wasn't doing anything with her the days after grad I probably would have slit my wrists but then I was going to that night regardless but Tyler literally dragged me out of the direction of the bathroom.
Either way it always reminds me of Megan, funny enough is that this is a very rare song to hear but when I was at her comic store I heard this song play on the PA, I dont know what that means, is it a higher up telling me to keep the faith or just teasing me at how much of a fool iw as to get caught under the net again twice in one year. But if anything the song is about sort of her being my anchor these days a much needed one regardless, as a friend or whatever.
And from his last labum nearly half the album has treasure troves
Never Get Over You - Practically every woman I feel for, I think of every single one of them, if I had a will I would probably said cut my heart up into 11 peices and send a peice to everyone of them, it would say on a name tag "cook well, and choke on it.
"
Brainwashed - Reminds me of how stupid the world is at least to me that they blindly follow without knowing it and deny it.
Stuck Inside A Cloud - Reminds me of my darkest hours back in July/August
Any Road - Well its a song about george's life experiences, so I think of my life when I hear this one.
Between The Devil and The Deep Blue Sea - another that reminds me of Kat, but this song plays and I think of how I would like to end my Loner movie, regardless if it was suicide or just the character shrugs and keeps going.
This song just seems to me thre right way to end whatever first movie I do because it fits how i feel about women or love. Regardless of all the trash talking I saty at the end if they ever came ot me wanting a relationship I would be pathetic enough to say yes. because all I want is their attension, childish yes but at least I admit it.
Well sleeping in was great, god its amazing what a good nights sleep can do cant say i did much today but just lounged aroudn throwing around ideas, I thinking of writing another short something that could be done much more quicker like right now if need be, something very bare bones but something that works. Also rewriting what i have done feature filmw as of The Loner but trying another approach,when Ir ead what I got its somewhat boring I think a bit too arsty for its own good as if I am trying too much to impress the Evangelion movie makers in giving me a job, I think I am going to make the film mor elike a Punch Drunk Love meets Annie Hall.
Friday will be another escapade of going to the comic store vying for attension i doubt I will get, savor whatever I can get go home and wirte, firday I am going to try and just write like crazy, binge write or whatever it takes I got to start.
My goal for this month is to finish th efull length script in a first draft format.
Saturday
10am to 5 at the spag
then go to Tyler's place for the first time in awhile and mostly pitch around ideas with him, I want to film something quickly
Sunday
9am to 2pm pet store
5pm to 12:30 maybe at spag
Monday
9am to 2pm petstore then maybe go to that video store and see if I can get a jogb there
go to bed early maybe
Tuesday/Wednesday
9am to 2pm - pet store
2pm to 4:30 - watch a bogart movie
5:30 to 12:30 - spag
Thursday
sleep in, do some writing
5:30 to 12:30 - spag
Friday
off
That is my schedual.
When I got the comic store I will get the Universe X or I think tha tis what its called, its done by the same people who did Kingdom Come a DC Comic novel done on the characters on a what if they got older in a future or whatever, but this one is on the Marvel characters.
That hopefully she got the Fables comci and maybe she got Batman: Black White Vol 1. But all I want is mostly is her heart but then I know that wont happen. what else is new.
mood:
 
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