Auditions - Alanis Morissette - Music Stars - Latest Music News @ Notefa.com

What do you 'Think' of Lakeesha?

The unintelligible singers in the montage are pretty intelligible, although dreadful. (Especially the Chantilly Lace girl. She looked familiar somehow -- any clues?

)
Am I getting too jaundiced, or was Lakeesha Jones just ordinary? Other old-school soul songstresses have been rejected for equally good auditions if you ask me.
Samples of original songs, preceded by a montage of the dreadful Idol coronation singles that are still being held up as runaway successes when only one has ever been a real hit.

OK, I'll cut that rant short, because here comes a bald guy.
William Emil Samland has an original song. You can tell it's original because it contains, for possibly the first time on national TV, the word trowel.

OK, that was kind of amusing.
Clearly, I've hit my limit on auditions. Four weeks of this stuff and it's getting hard to get a reaction from me beyond a yawn.

Come on, Idol producers, give me something to respond to.
I wonder if Edward Sanchez will be good. Paula fanatic, talks haltingly .

.. well, not as bad as I thought, but fairly hopeless.

Which evens out the good/bad ratio (for full auditions) at 3-3.
Heather, Ashley Ebony, the singing carhops. The new Josie The Pussycats?

Heather and Ashley were OK, Ebony was good. Ashley may have gotten through on her motherly advice crack to Paula. She was passable (in both senses of the word, though).

Paul Kim, the anti-Hung, is trying too hard if you ask me, and way too breathy. But he may sound better with musical accompaniment.
Bo Jr.

(Jack Odanovich) is predictably awful. Nothing much to say.
Uh-oh, Black Velvet, an auditioner's death trap.

Gina was OK, though.
So far, so dull, don't you think?
Paula falls for a pool of tears and tries to talk the other judges into reconsidering that dreadful opener, Christa Fazzino.

Bizarre.
Tami Gosnell wasn't bad. One for two.

Texas two step out of the race?

What's up with the San Antonio auditoners, anyway? A number of you have reported about Akron Watson, the smooth-voiced good cousin from Tuesday's audition, being disqualified from the Hollywood round by the producers, apparently for a pot bust.

Then Ashlyn Carr, she of the grimaces and the second chance, getting busted for ? Haven't seen a confirmation whether she's out or not, but she might make for a pretty interesting partner in one of the Hollywood groups. If she does make it to Hollywood, wonder if she'll sing a Def Leppard song.

The last city-specific American Idol audition episode, from San Antonio, had a mellower feel than most earlier installments. Sure, there were a few bleeped epithets, a flood of tears here and there. But overall the show was light on out-and-out psychos and featured a number of pleasant to potentially potent singers.

Rocker Jacob “Jake the Snake” Tutor was perhaps the rudest contestant, compensating for a distinct lack of singing ability with a post-rejection flow of cusswords. But equally inept rocker Bryan Kyrish took his dismissal with genial equanimity.
And the episode’s worst singer, William Green, who sang Amazing Grace with an amazing lack of same, was good nature personified, staging a mock tirade for the benefit of onlookers.

Green’s cousin, Akron Watson, was possibly the best pure singer, but for pure potential, I would have to hand the prize to 16-year-old Baylie Brown, another Carrie Underwood in the making.
Wednesday night’s show (Fox, 9 ET/PT) rounds up unseen auditions, from bad to perverse, with a few good ones thrown in to compensate.
That was actually kind of low-key and almost pleasant, for an audition episode.

Seemed as if there weren't as many headcases, fewer tirades and sass-backs ...

Of course there were examples of all those things -- Jake the Snake and Jasmine Holland embodied some of those qualities, for sure.
I think Baylie Brown has the best potential going forward, although Jimmy McNeal and Akron Watson may have been more accomplished singers. It will be interesting to see how Ashlyn Carr develops and deals with her expressionistic tendencies.

All in all, rather enjoyable ...

for an audition episode.
Sorry, I think this got accidentally posted before I'd written anything. So here we go for real.

Still sounds pretty good. Think she'll pass. And she does.

Definition of filler : an extended sequence on contestants trying to open the wrong door.
William The Incredible Hulk Green sings a foundation-shaking subliminal sonic laxative (c. Blues Magoos) version of Amazing Grace.

Unique, at least.
Anybody catch the name of his cousin? I missed it.

He was pretty good with his Sam Cooke and Marvin Gaye tunes.
In passing, Paula seems to be pretty clear-headed tonight.
More tears, surliness, swearing and even xenophobia in Jasmine Holland's dismal audition.

Tiresome.
And now our next cute country girl, in the Carrie/Kellie tradition. Except Baylie's apparently a country fashionista.

And kind of charming. How can she miss?
Chris Daughtry has a lot to atone for.

Rockin' screamo dude Bryan Kyrish's bellowed version of Rebel Yell was tough on my tender ears.
Bonnie Raitt's I Can't Make You Love Me is an affecting ballad. It's not affecting me too profoundly on wedding singer Haley Scarnato.

Agree with Randy -- OK. Not so sure about the pass, but they've passed worse.
If a wedding singer made it, maybe Bryan should have switched Billy Idol songs -- to White Wedding, natch.

Is anybody going to San Antone?

Stay tuned for the last city-specific audition show at 8 ET tonight, taped from San Antonio. I'll be blogging it live, however, and invite all interested to play the home version and post running comments.

I'll also be doing the Rest of the Best show Wed. night at 9 ET; I'm told it will be all previously unseen auditions, covering the usual range of promising to abysmal to sheer waste of time.
While viewers in the thirties of millions continue to watch the Idol auditions avidly, I can sense the disenchantment pervading the comments from you, the vital cognoscenti of Idol watchers, if I may call you that.

(I promise I won't use the term as a regular habit.)
Knowledgeable fans of the show, I'm concluding, value it more for the chance to discover promising talent early and follow their progress, rather than enduring an endless string of freak-show novelties and the legions of the egotistically ungifted.
So we'll make our way through one more audition show Tuesday, the mysterious but not all that tantalizing rest of the best show Wednesday, and then it's time for the two days of Hollywood swinging, which -- although full of producer manipulations and selective depictions -- will at least give us an idea of the shape of things to come.

I'll be tracking it all live, while anticipating Feb. 20, when the top 12 male semifinalists compete and the real fun begins. See you Monday.

According to American Idol host Ryan Seacrest, 40 singers made it through to the next round from the Los Angeles auditions. How many did the viewing audience get to see? Three.

That’s an indication of how far the audition rounds have swung toward showcasing the pitiful and the obnoxious. There were plenty of those, notably a bizarre audition from a mime and sound-effects specialist/singer/dancer/performance artist/hyphenate named Martik “The Panther” Manoukian. Not to mention the world’s most atonal couple, Cavett “Sparkles” Carr and Darold Gray, who sang an I Wish It Would Rain that I could only wish would stop.

Immediately.
There was also a sentimental moment. As a gesture toward his cancer-stricken wife, sexagenarian Clayton Pore circulated a petition to try out for the show.

Predictably, the producers let him appear; not so predictably, his You Belong to Me, dedicated to his wife, who died two days previously, was truly touching.
Best: Seasoned backing vocalist Brandon Rogers, whose professionalism was obvious.
Worst: Eric Mueller, whose strained, stratospheric vocals irrevocably put the “false” in falsetto.

I think this episode had the lowest ratio of successful auditions shown to number of singers passed through. Ryan said 40 people made it; we saw, by my count, three.
All so we could see an extended segment with The Panther, watch people humble themselves begging for another chance, and see the world's most untalented singing couple, Sparkles and Darold.

Eric Mueller hit new heights in bad high-pitched vocalizing, though, and that was sort of worth it. And give the producers credit for seizing the opportunity Sherman Pore presented them. That was a three-hanky event.

I'm still not sure why circulating a petition to put her 60-year-old husband on American Idol's audition show would bring such cheer to a cancer-stricken woman, but I can't question the emotional impact of the actual performance.
Coming right up: what will appear in the paper tomorrow. Then I'm out of here until tomorrow.

Thanks for playing along.
Here comes our travesty finale, Eric Mueller. The build-up has all the earmarks.

And he lives up to it, putting the false in falsetto. Since I don't like putting those performance-artist types like Panther Boy in the worst slot, I think I can be comfortable with Eric.
Plus, bonus points for trying to learn to sing via Paula and Randy's instructional program.

Brian Miller is ready for his boy band now. I liked the Sam Cooke song choice,though, and he seemed amiable, too.
Sixty-year-old Sherman Pore's back story could be the most blatant heartstring-puller so far this season, but you couldn't help but be touched.

Very strange, though.
A dancing fool -- Phuong Pham was kind of appealing, likable, but a woeful singer/dancer. And here I thought nobody could screw up Dancing in the Street.

That's foolish, too.
Another backing singer -- gotta be a pass, right? This guy sang behind Anastacia and Aguilera; you'd think he'd be good.

And he was -- not tremendously distinctive but definite quality. Halfway through, he's the clear leader (not that there's been much competition).
I take back what I said about Olivia not contributing.

That was a great cross-eyed eye roll during the otherwise pointless begging medley.
Nearly 20 minutes into it, finally a glimpse of talent. Although Alaina Alexander wasn't nearly as good as the judges (particularly Simon) seemed to think.

Too breathy, not sure if she's got that swing thing going on, but maybe she'll develop.
It's early yet, but I'm not expecting a weighty contribution from Olivia. The guest judges in general seem intimidated by the PRS trio of incumbents.

I'm glad they've been relegated to the audition rounds (I hope that's true), but it may be time to dispense with them altogether -- or hire Courtney Love.
Would have liked to see more of Banana Boy. But then I'm a glutton for punishment.

I thought Marianna Riccio was being set up as a rockin' Kat klone, but that finger-snappin' lounge version of The Clash's Should I Stay or Should I Go was pretty dreadful, and her ceaseless pleading was so irritating.
Interesting -- On the original schedule Fox sent out, Los Angeles was supposed to wrap up the auditions next Tuesday, and San Antonio was supposed to be tonight. Wonder what the deal is?

Oh well, now we get Olivia Newton-John.
Could have had our first mime/animal mimic contestant, but The Panther was tragically rejected. My gosh, that was weird.

Next guy seems almost as old as Big Bird Fowler and probably sings worse.
Very strange novelty-laden start. I guess in L.

A. there were plenty of bizarre bad people to choose from.
Ten minutes to go before tonight's auditions, another one-hour job that I hope is more compelling than Tuesday's Birmingham follies.

By the way, I did check on New York contestant Jory Steinberg's earlier record, and found the cut she did as Jory Eve on the I Still Know What You Did Last Summer soundtrack from 1998. (It was also a single B-side to a Jennifer Love Hewitt song from the soundtrack, and she co-wrote it.) It's called Try to Say Goodbye, an attempt at a haunting ballad that sounds pretty typical and dull, although parts of it are pretty decent, as is her voice.

There is room for artistic growth here.
Appearing in a newspaper close to you Wednesday, this cogent analysis:
Tuesday’s American Idol auditions were relatively uneventful, but there were still plenty of flamboyant hopefuls ready to put the “ham” in Birmingham.
When the producers have to resort to plucking a 50-year-old woman in some sort of Big Bird outfit for a lengthy audition, you know televisable pickings were thin in Alabama.

But Margaret Fowler’s age disqualifies her from winning the night’s worst award.
Brandy Patterson got the most airtime for a bad audition — and her Like a Virgin was really bad — but Lakia Hill’s utterly unmusical version of How Did You Get Here placed the song’s title in an entirely novel context.
Most entertaining contestant was rotund, curly-haired Chris Sligh, possessed of a decent voice and a welcome dry wit.

But the best singer was Tatiana McConnico, whose rendition of Aretha Franklin’s I Never Loved a Man displayed both rawness and polish.
So, as I said, and as those of you playing at home seemed to agree, a bit lackluster all around. I'm going to have to go with Tatiana for best tonight, but Chris is my favorite, for sure.

Still think Lakia was the worst, though Brandy certainly got the most airtime out of being wretched.
I'm getting the feeling a lot of you loyal readers/commenters are getting a bit wearied of these audition shows. I'd be interested in what you think, plus of course comments from those of you in the Central, Mountain and Pacific time zones once you actually see this riveting episode.

Official summary (the one in the paper Wednesday) follows, then I'll catch up to you tomorrow afternoon.
Pageant girl Nichole wasn't bad, really.
Brandy is being set up for a big fall.

I like the idea of blaming the floor for a bad audition, though. Segment is going on far too long, on the other hand.
So we saw five out of the 20 Hollywood-bound singers.

And a lot of filler. Kind of a dull episode.
Confusing end note: The closed captioning said the search was on in Los Angeles next week, while Ryan said tomorrow.

The schedule has L.A. next Tuesday, San Antonio tomorrow.

A mystery unfolds ...

Lakia sings like Katie Bernard talks. Not the faintest clue about singing.
Might be kinda tough picking a worst singer tonight, unless they're, to paraphrase Vanessa Williams, saving the worst for last.

Margaret Big Bird Fowler is certainly an obvious choice, but I'm still irked about her getting through at age 50, so I might go for Lakia.
As for best, I like Chris Sligh, but vocally, so far, it's Tatiana.
Half over, one good singer, a couple fair-to-decent, a couple bad singers and an utter travesty (hello, Margaret Fowler).

This episode is thinner than Nicole Richie.
So what awaits us in the closing 30 minutes? How about a girl who's not only buxom but has a daddy paralyzed as a result of a double shooting?

Everything in one package except a voice. Think they'll vote her through anyway? Do you have to ask?

Bernard just sounded kind of ordinary to me, although he seemed like a pleasant, level-headed type of guy (can't have too many of them).
Margaret Fowler's outfit puts the fowl in Fowler. Judges express some skepticism about her age, which is apparently expressed in cat years.

Really, the producers putting through 50-year-old women doesn't do the show, or us, any favors. Big waste of time.
Here we are at the fifth audition show (two more after this, plus a best-of that will doubtless provide my stiffest live-blogging challenge to date).

It's Idol's first trip to Birmingham, Ala. -- maybe its last?
As Erica Skye ploddingly intones Unchained Melody, time indeed does seem to going by so slowly.

Big trend this year: singers who won't stop even when told repeatedly.

From 'next Alanis' to next Idol?

This raft of contestants with recording pasts is kind of a fun trend.

Thanks to Idol Observer for passing on the word about Jory Steinberg, who was a pre-teen/teen singing sensation in Ottawa, Canada, much along the lines of Alanis Morissette (who started recording at 10 and made a couple of Canadian-only teen-pop albums before changing her style and breaking through with Jagged Little Pill.
Anyway, Jory was hailed as the next Alanis, as this relates, and signed a seven-album deal with onetime Idol coach David Foster's 143 Records. It fell through, but she did get a song on the I Saw What You Did Last Summer album under the name Jory Eve (I'll check to see if I have that) and a single released in Canada and a few other countries.

None of this seems like a reason to disbar her, but it is intriguing. She did seem a bit too polished to be a raw amateur, and that name Jory rang a distant bell. So now we know.

Since the topic has surfaced while I was gone, I wanted to transfer posted by Doug123 about Kia Thornton, whom I and others singled out as the best of the New York auditioners.
Well, no wonder -- turns out she was in Divine, the R B trio from New Jersey whose Lately hit No. 2 on the R B chart in 1998 (follow-up One More Try reached No.

13 the following year).
I guess that doesn't flout any Idol rules, as long as she met the age requirement. (Unless that's the reason she, as the article relates (and stop here if you don't want to read the spoiler -- I'm generally opposed to publishing any spoiler-type info, although there sure is a lot of it available for those who wish to seek it out, but in this case it seems relevant), was eliminated in Hollywood.

)
I realize it's hard to draw the line between professional backup singers such as Mandisa and Melinda Doolittle, singers who recorded independently on their own pre-Idol (Chris and Taylor, for two), and members of groups who had big chart hits. But to me, Kia's acceptance is over the line. Are we going to get former members of B2K and Hanson auditioning next?

What do you think?
Here's the preview of what will appear in the paper tomorrow, complete with best and worst picks:
American Idol’s producers must have figured that if any city deserved two hours of auditions, it was New York. So a procession of singers rich in attitude and somewhat more deficient in talent paraded before the judges.

Uncanny Frank Sinatra look-alike (but sadly, far from sound-alike) Antonio Torres typified the breed.
A solid number of good singers did surface, however, including Jory Steinberg, Jenry Bejarano, Antonella Barba and Sarah Burgess.
The best of the batch, however, was Kia Thornton, who displayed immense vocal promise.

Worst: Many to choose from, including the probably intentionally annoying Ian Benardo and a succession of singers who butchered Lionel Richie’s All Night Long. But the trophy has to go to Isadora Furman, whose jam on Lady Marmalade was indescribably indigestible.
The auditions mercifully return to the one-hour format Tuesday (Fox, 8 p.

m. ET/PT) and Wednesday (9 p.m.

ET/PT).
(To be followed by the one that will run in the paper Thursday.)
For a two-hour show, and in New York, of all places, the outrage/freakazoid/hopeless factor was kind of muted.

They bookended the show with the two outstanding cases of eccentricity -- Ian, who is just too professional with his bit to be entertaining for me, and Isadora, who may also be a performance artist in disguise (and not much of a disguise at that). In between, we had some psychodrama with the soliloquizing Ashanti; the tearful, bipolar (I liked that description) Nakia and the interminable Sarah.
But there were a lot of promising prospects, relatively speaking.

Jory, Jenry (maybe they should form a duet act), Porcelana, Rachel (loved the Welcome to the Dollhouse comparison), Christopher, Nicholas, Sarah, Amanda, Antonella, Kia. (Seven girls, three guys -- wonder what the complete Hollywood gender ratio will be?) Gives you a little hope.

I'm off on some family business after tonight, but I'll be back Monday. Thanks for playing along at home.
OK, I think we have our worst.

Julie Isadora was stunning!
Thirty-five passed, but we saw only a fraction (well, a reasonably hefty fraction -- 10 by my count).
Nicholas Pedro pulls off a stunning comeback after fizzling in Hollywood last year.

A smooth and assured Fly Me to the Moon.
Wonder if this Broadway cowboy chick will be the worst. So far I'm having trouble identifying a clear worst singer.

'All Night Long' -- seemed like it, anyway

What a procession of hopeless cases in the All Night Long medley. The Dorothy impersonator was scary.
Christopher Richardson credits Leon Russell with A Song for You, earning him points.

You could tell from his calm demeanor that he'd be a winner. Not sure how much of one, though.
Who was the blond guest judge in the inane name mispronunciation sequence?

Simon Jr. (Christopher Henry) has a freakish high range (and a weird way of pronouncing living ). But he sparked such an entertaining Paula/Simon spat.

(Not really. Getting old.)
Amazing, a Jeff Buckley song!

(Eternal Life.) I thought it was interesting. Rachel Zevita's better with the opera, though.

And a little less attitude would be pleasing. Close call for making it through; don't see great longterm prospects for her.
How did Sinatra Boy pass the age limit?

Unless it's moved up to 48 this year?
Jory sounds a little breathy to me, but that's probably new school. Pretty good, not quite as good as Kia, though, and needs to get over herself a little.

Jenry's fine, but nothing much to say -- if there's such a thing as an average Hollywood candidate, he's it. (Unless his looks, which I'm somewhat unqualified to judge, will be a factor.)
Dancing in the Street is a good upbeat acappella audition song if you have a decent voice, which Nakia has.

But she wandered way off pitch on her slower song. Show certainly is playing up the tragic elements. But at least it's good -- and sobering -- to see honest pain from rejection rather than some Ian-type play-acting.

Sarah Goldberg -- just weird. She posted a few comments in August on the blog -- remember? Who knew she'd turn out so hysterical (and not in a good way)?

Taylor, Bo and Chris are accumulating a lot of bad karma for inflicting hordes of bad would-be rockers such as Clifton Biddle (he's got the magic Tush).
Would have liked to have seen a bit more of the spaceman dude. Guess I'm a glutton for punishment.

Kia, however, seems like the winner so far. Very strong.
Amanda and Antonella must have got lost on the way to the Become Another Superfluous Member of the Pussycat Dolls auditions.

Amanda gets a pass for looks, I think -- her version of Crazy was hardly compelling. (Kind of old-school, actually.)
Best pal Antonella was probably a bit better, as the judges said, and also got looks points.

How charming -- not only do we have a brother and sister passed through, but also best pals.
Guess there's room for only one Ashanti in pop. The judges' reasoning for rejecting Ashanti Johnson seemed a bit spurious (too old-school?

Like half the people they pass don't sound old-school?). She had a lot of skills.

Of course, her post-rejection soliloquy, played up to the hilt by the producers with musical sound effects, provided ample grounds to say no on grounds of pure irritation.
Fanya, the singer/dancer who sang Africa, was just plain bad.
Tears being shed for audition #2 -- a tragic miscommunication in the family (Dad's not supportive, Sarah Burgess sneaks out to audition).

The judges eat up those tears. And gosh, Dad doesn't sound all that unsupportive anyway. Reality TV is great!

She had some range (Call Me is a tough song to sing), but she could really get on my nerves if the floodgates don't close in Hollywood.
Idol question? Weren't the New York auditions in New Jersey?

Carol Bayer Sager as guest judge -- somewhere I read (EW?) that she was of little use during the proceedings. Well, we'll see.

Something about this Ian Benardo sounds familiar, besides the So You Think You Can Dance audition. He's totally being set up for a severe fall, but no pity for someone as utterly tiresome as him. Singing seems to be a foreign concept to him.

Probably should have tried Van Morrison's Gloria.
Here's an advance look at what will appear in the paper tomorrow. Apologies for phrasing I've stolen from earlier posts tonight, but if you can't steal from yourself, who can you steal from?

Outright cruelty from judges and producers was at a refreshing minimum on American Idol Tuesday, despite an ample crop of auditioners from Memphis who could have qualified for a tongue-lashing. Among the worst: Chris Rivera, who sang Superstition as if he were auditioning for Rawhide; Janita Burks, whose idea of “conservative” (as she put it) attire seemed to be a dress that barely failed to expose her breasts; and hopeless Elvis impersonator Robert Lee Holmes.
A few promising singers were heard, the best of whom was blues belter Jason “Sundance” Head, son of the great ’60s blue-eyed soul singer Roy Head.

Worst, in a close call: Tamika Sims, who displayed a towering two-note range on Ashanti’s Rock Wit U.
An hour was certainly easier to take than two, and looking back, there appear to have been four or five good singers shown, depending on how you rate Sean Castro Boy Michel. (There's a high fidelity joke in there somewhere, but it's getting late.

) Phil was OK, but he's going to get through more on his back story. I thought Danielle McCulloch's soul stylings were the most interesting, and Melinda Doolittle probably had the best voice (but does indeed seem fated to a Mandisa-level quick exit if she makes the finals).
So, probably because I'm sentimental about his father, I'm going to pick the Sundance Kid as the best tonight.

Worst is a tough call, as usual -- although the delusional/mentally fragile quotient was way down tonight, thankfully. I've gotta go with Tamika Sims and her astonishingly affectless version of Rock Wit U.
Two hours from New York tomorrow.

That should be freakish. Join me for the spectacle.
And now for the inevitable Elvis schtick, featuring Robert Lee Holmes.

The delusional alarm rang, but at least he was the quiet type.
Plus the tiresome Elvis montage from the worst cases. Delightful.

A montage of Paula hugs -- can you feel the love in the room? Then a contestant who's using auditioning to turn a corner from a failed marriage (to someone he curses out on TV -- heartwarming moment). And he's a Paula fanatic.

And singing Kenny Loggins. Badly. Long setup for nothing.

More freakshow, from the conservative, innocent Janita Burks. Then, from Cleavage Girl to Castro Boy, but he chose an interesting Johnny Cash gospel tune and sang it pretty well. Worthy addition to the thin mix of approved singers so far.

A rare televised moment of the judges offering a sensible critique, to Wandera Hitchye, who isn't taking it very well. But her version of Sam Cooke's A Change Is Gonna Come just wasn't distinctive.
Bizarre quasi-rap from Travis McKinney, with an equally bizarre (and misleading) lead-up.

Danielle McCulloch: Pretty good white soul singer, I'd pass her through. And, on a split decision, they do. She has potential, I think -- I thought she was essentially on a par with the Sundance Kid.

Wacky cartoon music ...

wonder if this will be a good audition? Tough to predict.
Tamika is deadpan and laconic and affectless beyond all imagination, but made up for it with a titanic two-note range.

Judges were not particularly mean, though.
Chris Rivera violates the Blog Pound rules by singing Stevie Wonder, but delivering Superstition as if he were auditioning for Rawhide or some cattle-drive Western is a mildy diverting trick.
Alexis Partee is very forgettable, but points for song choice: Teena Marie's ultracool Square Biz.

Wow, Roy Head's kid. Roy Head is incredible (1965 pop-soul classic Treat Her Right, psychedelic classic You're Almost Tuff, some great rockabilly stuff before his hit), and Sundance (the kid) says he's better. Well, he's not, but he ain't bad, kind of a cross between Bo and Taylor, maybe, and the family angle is intriguing.

Wow, Idol is as powerful as a Biblical plague! It can make the whole population of a city disappear, at least if you take the Memphis intro at face value.
Judges seem to be in a surly mood; Frank the Cheerleader didn't seem that bad compared to many who have been passed through.

I'm expecting a slightly kinder, gentler Idol audition show tonight. Let's see if I'm right.
There's only an hour to fill.

(That might be refreshing; it's a more natural length for these types of shows, but when you're getting killer ratings for two hours of the same stuff, it would be hard to resist the temptation.)
Also, I don't know if the producers were able to re-edit this episode, which was surely completed before the line buddies/there's a meanness in this show furor started, but if they had a chance, I wouldn't be surprised if they rejiggered it a little.
Plus, there's a decent chance that Memphis has better singers.

Idol's Southern syndrome, the town's rich musical heritage -- well, we can hope. Then we also have to hope that Idol gives the better singers increased airtime.
It's a lot to hope for, but an Idol blogger can dream .

..
Frankly, my feeling is that we can stop paying any more attention to Seattle's temporarily famous line buddies, Jonathan Jayne and Kenneth Briggs, since they've pretty much removed themselves from victim status in favor of an avid fame-seeker role (what with all their TV appearances and all).

Of course, the media as a whole, including USA TODAY, does not agree, so I would be remiss if I didn't point out the existence of this latest Idol story focusing on the duo. Do we really need more William Hungs? Just asking.

Thanks to TV critic Robert Bianco, who was at the Idol session at the TV press tour, I found another quote from Idol producer Ken Warwick that is a more candid admission of the whole bad singers on the auditions round policy.
Like it or don't like it, people like the bad singers. They really do.

And so, you know, asking me as a producer to make a show that people are going to tune into and enjoy, then it's more the bad singers that will bring the ratings in, especially when you're on your sixth season and you want the show to be successful.
That's more like it, although it kind of contradicts the earlier quote about Idol putting bad singers on because there aren't enough good singers available. Oh well.

I feel a little better about the whole thing now.
I got a chance to reread the in today's paper (reposting link in case you missed it), and one quote leaped out at me (fortunately inflicting only minimal structural damage). It's still only January, but I think we have a prime candidate for the Most Disingenuous Quote of the Year award.

Idol exec producer Ken Warwick was talking about the awful Idol auditioners shown last week, and said, It's not a conscious decision. It's just that the further we go in the series, there are less and less good singers, so the numbers are made up by more bad ones.
The implication here is that the 20-25, however many singers shown in the two-hour audition shows are the best available, out of the thousands who tried out.

No offense, but that wouldn't convince a six-year-old.
What is the obstacle that prevents the Idol hierarchy from just coming out and admitting that they select auditioners for their extreme qualities: either actual vocal talent or a glaring lack of same combined with strong potential for entertainment and/or ridicule? We all know it's an entertainment show as well as a talent contest; we know some people like it only for one of those two aspects; we know they're trying to serve both audiences in the audition rounds.

So stop insulting our intelligence, come clean and admit it. To do otherwise is to insult the legions of adequate-to-pretty-good singers who are rejected because they fall between the two extremes.
Everybody's sayin' that there's nobody meaner, so the Idol folks got defensive in Pasadena.

Apologies to Jan Dean, but that must have been a weird scene at the TV critics' gathering in Pasadena, Calif., when Idol producers and judges faced off with critics over accusations that the show is meaner to obviously hopeless contestants this year.
Bill Keveney was there -- and the no-doubt-countless other accounts and let me know what you think.

And also at the TV press tour, one of the highlights of which was her declaration that she's never been drunk and doesn't do recreational drugs.
An unending parade of bad singers -- and some brutal assessments by the American Idol judges -- were music to Fox's ears Wednesday as Idol racked up 36.9 million viewers, the singing contest's third-biggest audience ever.

Wednesday's two-hour show from Seattle, in which judge Simon Cowell told one singer he looked like a jungle creature, dropped a barely perceptible 1% from the 37.4 million who watched Tuesday's
sixth-season premiere and is up 17% from the same show last year. The only Idol show with more viewers was the one-hour, second-season Ruben Studdard-Clay Aiken finale, which drew 38.

1 million.

The Tuesday and Wednesday Idol auditions are Fox's highest-rated nights of entertainment programming ever and the top two shows of the 2006-07 TV season in young adults and viewers. The previous viewer favorite was football's BCS Championship game this month (28.

8 million).

Next week's audition shows are from Memphis (Tuesday, 8 ET/PT) and New York (Wednesday, 8 ET/PT). -- Bill Keveney

The Variety take -- what do you think?

In a comment, Christina W. posted to variety.com's new weekly Idol feature, but I'm promoting it to its own thread just because I'm curious to see what you think of Variety's reviewer's take on the show.

I won't stack the deck with my specific thoughts yet, but some of it seemed like an odd perspective. Love to hear your opinions.

What I wanted to say on MSNBC, or The Print Media's Revenge

One nice thing about having a public forum such as Idol Chatter to vent in is that I can expand beyond the tiny soundbites TV allows for most of the time.

So this will be a stab at what I hoped to get across on MSNBC earlier today.
Their premise was that the show has a meaner tone this year, which I think we mostly agree on. (At least it's not less mean than before.

) Clearly they'd set it up to blame the judges, which I disagreed with. I think in general the judges draw a line -- when they ridicule someone, it's usually someone who has either the mental toughness to take it or is so unshakably set in his or her delusions of grandeur that no amount of criticism will ever penetrate. But when someone is obviously fragile, even Simon tends to lay off and let the person down gently.

But the producers, as many of you have mentioned, have really upped the ante this season. They seem to be choosing a few more mentally fragile types and, to use the technical term, obvious wackos. (That may be an illusion -- there may have been just as many in previous seasons.

Or it may be simply a consequence of having more time to fill -- 10 hours committed to auditions so far. Or there may be a lot more eccentrics and hopeless cases auditioning now in this post-William Hung era, after he proved that if you endure the ridicule and humiliation, you can actually forge some kind of career from your travesties of appearances. Although it may be true that American culture will support only one William Hung -- I certainly hope that's true.

)
Anyway, if the numbers of weirdos hasn't increased, the time spent on them certainly seems to have. The cameras seem to lovingly linger on the rejected, setting them up in painful detail, showing far more of their actual auditions than is strictly necessary (or humane), and then chronicling their every sob or curse or dejected shuffle out the door.
I certainly sympathize with everyone who's commented something to the effect of See ya, I'll be back when the Hollywood rounds start.

I'm more in the this show is like crack to me camp (thanks, Christina W., for that phrase ..

. I think), so I'm going to keep watching for the glimmerings of talent that crop up and the occasional awful performance I can wholeheartedly laugh at without feeling creepy afterwards. But even though America, like so many Backstreet Boys, may want it that way, I'm growing increasingly uncomfortable with these audition shows.

Reflecting on the long and painful night, I'm with you. Idol really needs to lay off the grotesques and the more seriously delusional hopeless cases. It's not hard to laugh at some of the untalented singers -- the ones like The Hotness or Melissa Stavros, who you know are pretty unflappable, impregnable in their egotism.

But some of these others, Nick Zitsmond or even Big Red, and definitely the two buddies, Kenneth and Jonathan -- you feel they're going to be scarred for life, and by expressing any amusement at all, you almost feel complicit in causing their misery. Not a pleasant feeling. (Although -- I admit with a considerable degree of guilt -- I do like that lemur boy characterization.

)
Anyway, those of us (which is most of us, I get the feeling) who are more interested in looking for talent found a few nuggets tonight: the Malakars, Jordin, maybe Blake and Anna and Thomas. And I think we laid the groundwork for a useful guide for Idol honchos to ponder: the wishlist of forbidden things: crying, Journey, Stevie Wonder (very true), line buddies, etc. (If I get some time, maybe I'll compile them and we can add to them as the shows move ahead.

)
The two-hour audition shows are really a stretch, in every sense of the word. (Thankfully, Tuesday's is a one-hour show, although Wednesday's New York extravaganza is two hours again.) In my critique in the paper tomorrow, I characterized the shows thus far as meaner but unfortunately not leaner, which sums up my overall impression.

Hope it gets better.
Meanwhile, the comments were great -- deep and well-thought-out as well as short and snide (that means you, Annoyed). Back for more discussion Thursday-Monday, and more intensity Tuesday.

Just when you think you've got your best and worst all wrapped up ...

they send in a Big Red to mess with your head. A truly astonishing Bohemian Rhapsody. Undeniably awful but weirdly sad too.

I'll sum up my thoughts (and check yours) shortly.
Jordin Sparks seems like an immediately likable teenager, and has a good, if at times unrestrained, voice. I had a hunch they'd love her.

Still like the siblings better, though.
To be charitable, maybe Paula was just thrilled to hear a good singer.
Add to the wish-we-could-ban-them list: the montages of losers singing the same song.

It's just piling on the misery.
Swell, a Taylor-clone hairdresser. With no voice whatsoever.

And a lot of annoying mannerisms. He sang Drift Away, and he definitely needed to get lost with his rock 'n' roll.
At least we got to see the Idol muscle in action.

Reassuring to know the judges are well protected.
From the depths to the heights (I've got plenty of cheap jokes left, I'm afraid), 6'4 Anna Kerns was ..

. well, interesting. Not without promise but not especially distinctive.

(And what is TCP anyway?). Good by comparison so far this season, at least.

OK, there's a nice Seattle day. Hope that's not the last pleasant sight of the evening.
I can tell these two are going to make me really uncomfortable.

Fish in a barrel time. Even Paula was needlessly cruel to little Kenneth. And big Jonathan .

.. well, I don't recall anyone dropping a whole octave in the middle of a line before.

At least the judges were as kind as I can ever remember their being in similar circumstances.
Well, that was nice. The Malakars, Shyamalee (I hope I transcribed that right) and Sanjaya, both seemed to have appealing personalities and both sang well.

And better yet, they're not twins, like the Brittanums.
Tough for me to choose between 'em, though.
Is this a groovy blog or what?

OC and Daria references in the first 35 minutes. (I love/loved 'em both, although The OC tests my patience sometimes.)
Anyway, a beatboxer with way too much mousse?

If he tones both those things down, Blake Lewis might be interesting, if a little too cocky. I agreed with Randy, the beatboxing beat the singing.
Paula was certainly dazzled.

The good, the bad, and the doggie

It is nice to see the shots of my onetime hometown (grasping at positive straws here), even if the rain and gloom aren't the ideal showcase for it. Not so nice hearing my onetime homies' singing efforts so far, though.
Half an hour in, it was about time for a yes.

Thomas Daniels has an instantly unlikable personality, but he sang his Amos Lee song (refreshing choice), Arms of a Woman, pretty well.
Quick segue to Melissa Carlene Stavros, who uses the dread-inducing terms goofiness and very loud to describe herself and has a miniature Pomeranian and a lobster-like complexion. Really, she should have stuck with the Sir Mix-a-Lot song and skipped the Christina Aguilera.

Don't cha wish your Idol was a freak like her?

Interesting variation on the formula with Amy Salgado: Long, sentimental setup, complete with unsupportive husband and supportive child plus obligatory waterworks, leading into perfectly awful audition and cruel Simon comments. Pretty tedious viewing, actually.

This Mischa woman, who doesn't look a day over 45, looks tedious too, even though she's written a roman a clef about the show.
Paula's a little too amused by the idea of her singing the Pussycat Dolls' Don't Cha, although now that I'm hearing it, who could blame her?
Nice, a little music from hometown hero Jimi Hendrix to kick things off.

But no guest judge.
Great, another Uncle Sam type. Brandon Groves sure sounded better singing I Shot the Sheriff as a cop than God Bless America this year.

When someone is introduced as The Hotness, you can feel pretty sure she'll be more like the badness. Or the pointless sassiness, judging from Jennifer Chapton's ludicrous contentiousness after her dreadful song. More of that deluded confidence thing that's going to drive us crazy this year, I'm afraid.

According to various widely published Idol insider remarks, Seattle is being set up as the home of the worst singers of the entire audition round. (What does that make Minneapolis, then? One of the good ones?

Hope not.)
That kind of gives you an idea of the probable area of concentration for tonight's episode. I just hope they don't milk the atrocities the way they did Tuesday.

Probably a vain hope.
In any case, I'm ready to roll in a couple of minutes.
Well, I wasn't crazy about the show, but it was fun posting about it -- and more fun sneaking a peek at your comments as you played along at home.

All the intelligence, wit, snarkiness and sentiment I've relished from you Blog Pounders -- only the first episode, but you guys are already in midseason form.
Anyway, your consensus choice for best seemed to be Sarah Krueger, the Over the Rainbow gal. I thought I detected a rather glaring off-key passage toward the end, and the overfamiliarity of the song and arrangement irked me a bit, so I picked Michelle Steingas (who sang the Deana Carter song, If This Is Love).

I have a sneaking suspicion your choice is a stronger Idol contender, but I might as well go out on a limb early.
I don't think I was going out on any kind of limb by picking Trista the Lion Queen for worst of the night. (Actually, she may not have been technically worst, but she was just so utterly bizarre that I could not resist.

)
Many great points about producer manipulation, predictability and that weird contemporary attitude that so many contestants have, that feeling of entitlement to fame. And Christina W's new rule -- there's no crying in Idol -- ought to be engraved on a tablet (an aspirin tablet, probably).
Gotta hit the road home, but I hope you continue posting, and I'll chime in tomorrow afternoon.

Then we can do this again for the second round.
Well, superfan Brenna Kyner is giving the Lion Queen a run for her money. (But at least she did that Queen song I predicted.

) But what she lacks in vocal ability, she certainly makes up for in sheer obnoxiousness.
That was an ordeal in so many ways.

The good, the bad and the ugly

Long back story means the contestant will be good and we'll be seeing more of him or her.

Double the odds on that if the military is involved. So it was no surprise that sailor Jarrod Fowler passed, although a bit grudgingly.
Before him, the cowboy, Matthew Volna, was kind of a classic Idol bad audition -- a more tuneless version of Folsom Prison Blues would be unimaginable.

Frightening. Really enjoyed the human beatbox, Alex, too.
She may become insufferable by the Hollywood round, but first exposure to Perla Menasis (aka Shakira II) was enjoyable enough.

(I think I liked her flirting technique with Ryan -- it always works to refer to your male target's lack of height.) Sang OK; the judges were right that her impromptu Hips Don't Lie trumped her Call Me.
The segment on Teshawn Moore, who butchered Prince's Kiss (there's that local flavor), also seemed excessively cruel -- or at least interminable.

You start out snickering and end up just kind of staring embarrassedly. Ease up a little, guys.
As soon as the words crack baby came out, you could tell another producer-manipulated heartstring-tugger story was on the way.

And you knew she'd be good (well, at least decent). (Also, it was more than a half-hour into the show and for pacing purposes they had to give us somebody passable.)
At least there's a spark there.

Should be grateful for that.
Most tiresome contestant award: It's going to take someone amazing to top Jesse Holloway, who was a classic delusional case. Could have cut that segment in half, though the excerpt of Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough was amusing.

Judges were a bit mean to him, it seemed, but who knows how much they'd had to put up with beforehand? Plus it's sort of refreshing to see Paula be sarcastic, even if she's not very good at it.
Unusual amount of pathos in the first audition, from Jessica Rhodie, a Jewel wannabe.

The producers lingered on her disappointment almost to the point of cruelty, although she was pretty mediocre singing You Were Meant for Me.
I guess it's been a while. I felt uncomfortable watching that.

Part of the fun of the audition shows ...

Nice little flashback to open the show, and Katharine's smile when Taylor is crowned seems quite sincere.
Took about 30 seconds for a Jennifer Hudson plug, too, among the opening's nonstop back-patting. Kind of like the idea of The Who's Baba O'Riley playing under the shots of assembled auditioners.

Teenage wasteland, indeed.
And looks like we'll hear some more bleeped-out cursing. Can't hardly wait for that .

.. But an artful enough intro all told, considering.

Minneapolis is the home of Prince, The Replacements, Husker Du, Soul Asylum, The Trashmen, The Time, The Castaways, Jam Lewis and many other musical luminaries. Wonder if any of their music, or any kind of local flavor, will materialize in tonight's auditions?
I'm doubting it.

Wouldn't bet against a bunch of Whitney Houston and Queen songs, though.
Thanks for all the comments indicating you're looking forward to live coverage of the first audition telecast at 8 p.m.

(ET) tonight. I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to say, but nothing new about that -- I'll just let the love flow (or something like that).
Of course I'm expecting you folks to jump right in too, either during the show, afterward, or the next day.

I hope between us we can at least identify some promising contenders among the delusional wannabes and the slumming performance artists that I'm sure we'll be deluged with. Either way, should be fun!
First with the boilerplate, that's our motto here.

Here are the cities that will be showcased on the opening audition shows, plus a few other key dates:
Jan. 16 (premiere, 8-10pm): Minneapolis
Jan. 17 (8-10): Seattle
Jan.

23 (8-9): Memphis
Jan. 24 (9-10): New York
Jan. 30 (8-9): Birmingham, Ala.

Jan. 31 (9-10): San Antonio
Feb. 6 (8-9): Los Angeles
Feb.

7 (9-10): Rest of the Best audition show (filler alert?)
Feb. 13 14 (8-9; 9-10): Hollywood round
Feb.

14 (9-10): Semifinalists (top 24) named
Feb. 20 (8-10): Top 12 males
Feb. 21 (8-10): Top 12 females
Feb.

22 (8-9): Results (two male, two female singers sent home)
Feb. 27 (8-9:30): Top 10 males
Feb. 28 (8-9:30): Top 10 females
March 13 (8-10): Finals begin with top 12.

March 14 (9-9:30): Results, one finalist has a bad day (oops, I mean goes Home, accompanied by the Daughtry song of the same name).
You can guess how it goes from here.
As usual, a host of thoughtful comments on the topic o' the day -- Whether Idol Auditions Shows qualify as Theater of Cruelty.

I was interested to see, knowing how dedicated to the show itself almost all of you are, how many people seem to be fed up with the constant stream of hapless no-hopers the producers throw at us in those early audition-based shows.
Of course, as long as the ratings stay high, they're going to keep on keeping on this course, utilizing, I presume, the same reasoning process that induced them to sign Paula to a new deal in the face of all common sense. And those interested in discovering promising new talent will be forced to watch -- that dilemma was crystallized by the commenter known as But That's Just My Opinion, who brought up Paris Bennett's audition as a memorable, not-to-be-missed early milestone.

I remember having similar feelings; it was definitely one of those Idol goosebump moments. As long as there's a few of those, the auditions will be worth enduring.
Later today: some more statistics on the Idol tour, plus updates on Clay's sales figures.

Are 'Idol' TV auditions 'Theater of Cruelty'?

Reading through Monday's comments (and it's nice to see Elliott and his fans back), I was struck by a strongly (and, as always, eloquently) worded passage in a longer comment about Idol Rewind from Sister of Don Francisco. It expresses a lot of my own misgivings about Idol's season-opening audition shows, and I thought it would make a good point for discussion.

Here's the paragraph that struck me:
The Idol audition shows are a Theater of Cruelty. It's sad that people who have no singing talent want to try out for a singing contest, but inevitably some do, and the popularity of the audition rounds is a current reflection of the public appetite that made things like bear baiting popular in the past. The audition shows produce ratings, and that's why we have to sit through two (three?

) weeks of them at the start of each season.
I might add that they also bring out a lot of irritating would-be performance artists and the like who try to be flamboyantly bad to grab some precious airtime and their Warholian moment of fame ..

. and maybe more. How scary would it be if there are hundreds of people for whom William Hung is their own American Idol?

I've been growing increasingly weary of the audition episodes myself, but obviously a lot of people really like them. So I'm curious as to what you Blog Pounders, whom I consider among the most knowledgeable Idol consumers, think about them.
Winding up our Birmingham coverage, Peter Cooper found a couple of first-round winners who had previously taken the Idol railroad for a few more stops.

Devin Johnson of Columbus, Ga., is a senior at Hardaway High, but the 17-year-old has already been to the Idol heights (well, the intermediate foothills, anyway). Last year he made it to Hollywood (I believe it was Glendale, technically, but only L.

A. types will care), into the group round, where they stick the contestants into impromptu groups and make them rehearse routines with strangers, so they often survive or fail because of the abilities of others. Tough gig.

Anyway, Devin, who sang the Luther Vandross version of A House Is Not a Home and the Donny Hathaway version of For All We Know, said, I was much less nervous this time. Asked about skipping a day of classes, he said, They know why I'm here. They're rooting for me.

Craig Pullem, 26, from Broadview, Ill., flew down for the audition to recapture past glory. He made it to Hollywood in Season 4, but I lost last year in the Chicago auditions; I didn't make it past Round 1.

I can't say it's easier now than it was then. This year he thinks he has a good shot, having passed the first round by singing two showcases for '50s teen star Frankie Lymon, The ABC's of Love and the standard Goody Goody. His goal: I want to be the fat Justin Timberlake.

Good luck with that.
OK, it was more like an hour and a half. My fault -- real life intervened there for a while.

But Peter Cooper talked to four auditioners who made it through in Birmingham. Meet the first two now; the other two will follow.
Heather Reed, a 20-year-old student at Georgia's Gainesville State College, regularly sings at the Lakewood Baptist Church in Gainesville before as many as 3,000 people.

She found the audition a tougher challenge. I thought I would relax, but it's a lot easier to sing in front of 3,000 people instead of two, she said. It was very nerve-wracking and exciting.

Urged to try out by friends who were bugging me to do it for five years, Heather sang Sara Evans' Born to Fly and the gospel tune It Is Well with My Soul.
Jason Qualls, 23, a photographer/graphic designer from Birmingham, displayed a varied musical palette. He sang Keith Urban's country ballad Tonight I Want to Cry, The Temptations' My Girl and, fittingly, Sweet Home Alabama.

It was cool, he said, because the judges would give me something to shoot for. He explained that when asking for another song, the judges asked him to vary the tempo and style. It was an experience.

Winners coming up, part 2

Sorry for the delays; it's hot in Birmingham and the pace is sluggish. Should be quotes from some interesting winners within an hour.
While some of the rejected were upset, others were more philosophical:
“It was fun while it lasted.

,” said Norcross, Ga’s Tabitha Carter, 21, who spent three days in Birmingham and eight hours in line for her 20-second audition. Carter sang Hero by Mariah Carey. After the audition she was still all smiles.

“People look stupid when they stand around crying,” she said. “I loved making friends with the other people in line.”
Columbia, S.

C.,’s Danielle Lemox, 17, was told by the judges she would not advance. “I sang When I Think About Cheatin’ by Gretchen Wilson.

They said I wasn’t exactly what they were looking for. Hopefully, next year, I’ll be exactly what they’re looking for.”
Priscilya Hawkins, traveled from Egg Harbor, N.

J., for the audition, her second this year. She wore a T-shirt that read “Don’t disqualify me.

I’m the next American Idol.” They did, and she’s not. But she’s okay with that: “It just means I have to buy my own ticket to Hollywood.

I don’t get a free one,” said the 24-year-old.
We're back, as Peter Cooper performs the sometimes-unpleasant task of buttonholing contestants whose dreams have just been shattered. And, as you've seen before in previous audition accounts, they're frequently not happy about it.

Shanterria Gamble, of Gadsden, Ala., is 28, so it's her last shot. She wept after being dismissed from the auditions.

“I just wanted to be on TV,” she said. “I just wanted my voice to be heard. I know I can sing, and I sang my own song.

I could have been the next American Idol. This is just wrong.”
Takisha Murphy, a 26 year-old from Winter Haven, Fla.

, was amazed at the audition’s brevity. “We got literally five seconds,” she said.
And Derrick Thomas, 28, of Atlanta, was disgusted by the entire ordeal.

“I spent three days out here to sing for a few seconds. This whole thing was a hoax.”
Peter talked to a cross-section of auditioners before they entered the convention center.

Jonathan Parrish, a 25-year-old from Birmingham, wore a black, long-sleeved shirt; striped black dress pants; a red tie; dark sunglasses and a belt made to look like a piano keyboard.
“I’m really hot out here, but it’s part of my style,” he said, standing in the soupy Birmingham morning.

Keywords: San Antonio, Akron Watson, Los Angeles, Hollywood Round, William Hung, Jory Steinberg, Sam Cooke, Kia Thornton, Usa Today, Big Bird

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