Random Thoughts - Post a comment

Usually he ran to the babbling side of nervous.

When Xander slammed the car door, Spike was there, slipping an arm around his waist as they dashed for the covered porch before they got soaked.

Buffy beat them there, leaping up the steps and pushing her damp hair back as she considered them.

"Subtle, guys," she nodded knowingly. "In fact, in the subtle department, I'm putting that up there with Kennedy's whole ritualistic burning of the bedsheets."

"Hey," Xander protested, "not crazy lady here.

"

"Oi, don't know about the crazy part, but I'll second that ya aren't a lady," Spike offered with a leer, and Xander planted his elbow hard into Spike's side. Spike didn't let go.

"Xander?

Spike?" came a confused voice. Xander turned to see Willow standing at the open door, the light spilling out from behind her.

While he couldn't see anyone else, the giggles suggested that more than one baby slayer had seen them. "Oh goddess. I have not cast any spells.

So, if Spike is all lusty and romanticy, this time, it is totally not my fault," she immediately defended herself.

"Chill, Will. They're going the tried and stupid route of falling in lust after being big with the fighting," Buffy shrugged as she passed Willow in the door, and with support like that, who needed undermining?

Spike growled.

"Oi, just because you birds don't know how to--"

"Okay, officially saying time out," Willow rushed to say as she held up her hand as she backed up to let Spike and Xander into the front hall. "Some things are not discussed here, and you are on the verge of discussing them.

Just no."

"If that's the case, then me and Xander are on the do not discuss list," Spike snapped.

"Um, which might be kinda hard since we're supposed to be doing the discussing about us," Xander pointed out, and Spike glared at him.

"Or not," Xander shrugged. "I'm okay with not." Xander focused on the way his sneakers squeaked on the tile floor.

"Oh no. No, you two do not get to drop the weirdness napalm and run for the hills," Buffy insisted.

"Drop napalm… run.

Um, isn't that the way it's *supposed* to go," Xander whispered to himself, and Spike's arm tightened around his waist.

"We're only going over this once, so get Giles on the boob-tube," Spike said.

"Your funeral, and I would think you'd done the funeral thing enough," Buffy commented as she disappeared into the main study.

"Giles is going to be not-happy-boy getting woken up to deal with this," Willow pointed out, not taking her eyes off Xander. He squirmed uncomfortably under her attention. And hey, his right and left sneakers made slightly different squeaky sounds.

The left was definitely a little higher. He had thoughts of a wet sneaker concert with all the tile around the place. Demon goo cleaned up better with tile.

"Oh Xander," Willow said softly. "I'm so sorry we sent Spike after you. We should have come ourselves.

"

"Bloody hell. You're making it sound like he's dying or some such rot," Spike snorted as he stepped forward. Willow's eyes narrowed into her expression of superior disapproval, the one that she had copied from Giles, the one that made Xander start thinking about new missions to Africa… or maybe Mars.

"No dying, just some really freaky decisions that's he going to regret as soon as he stops funking, because he has been in a major funk ever since Africa, and maybe we should take you to another doctor, one who knows more about Africa, like maybe some African sleeping depression or something," Willow suggested with a suddenly hopeful expression.

"I'm not—" Xander started.

"Hey, I am so not going to be the only one in front of the camera when Giles shows up, so get in here," Buffy called from the study.

"Right, time to get this little disaster on the road, innit?" Spike asked rhetorically as he guided Xander toward the study.

Inside, books lined two walls, shelves running right up to the sides of the windows and then up and over so that they had to use a fancy wooden ladder that slid along a rail in order to reach the top shelves.

The two short walls held electronics. Xander sighed and stepped to the couch right in front of the television, dropping down onto the couch and trying to smile at the camera sitting on the T.V.

"Hate this bloody thing," Spike complained as he sat next to Xander, so close that their legs pressed together.

"No joke. I mean, reach out and touch someone is all well and good until someone buzzes you when you're in the ugly pajamas with a cucumber facial," Buffy agreed as she sat on the opposite side of the couch, leaving Willow to sit in the chair.

"And as the person who did the buzzing, can I just second the not-so-good part of that?" Xander said, forcing the joke even though his stomach just sort of curled up inside him.

"Hey, you try to keep your complexion with all the slayer sweat.

"

"Not really something--" Xander started.

"Good lord, please tell me you did not call me to the camera to witness discussions of complexions," Giles asked from the television. Xander looked over, and Giles sat on his couch in a rumpled button-up shirt and dress slacks.

"Rupert," Spike smirked when everyone else lost their voice. At least, Xander lost his. He suddenly wondered if he even knew how to talk because words slid out of his brain like dead, slimy fish, leaving him with a big, old, empty head.

"William," Giles said dryly.

"Hey, Giles." Buffy leaned forward and waved to the camera.

"Are all of you alright?" Giles asked.

"All present and accounted for," Buffy agreed.

"We just have some extra weirdness that showed up, and we know how you hate to be left out of the fun."

"Yes. Remind me to thank you later.

" Giles looked tired but he sighed and leaned forward. "Xander, Spike. I'm glad to see that you got in alright.

I'll admit I was a little concerned about your travel plans."

"Not sleet or imploding Hellmouths or Janjaweed militias will keep me from my..

." Xander paused. He didn't really have appointed rounds, at least not any more.

"…will keep me from showing up to unplug whichever toilets the girls have irrevocably plugged up with random demon bits," he finally finished. Giles just blinked at him.

"Oh yeah, the third floor toilet on the north side is making this weird gurgle ever since one of the girls flushed a Guanth chunk she pulled out of her boot.

Cathy? Katie? Chelsey?

" Buffy struggled for the name of the guilty girl.

"Veronica," Willow provided.

"Yep, that's it.

Veronica!"

"Yes, quite." Giles interrupted without saying quite what.

"So, what weirdness has led you to disturb me so late? I assume it's something other than Guanth chunks."

And a hush fell over the crowd.

"Birds have their knickers in a twist because Xander's been makin' the beast with two backs with me," Spike commented with a shrug.

"Xander's going to turn into a beast?" Buffy asked, twisting around to look at them in concern while Giles did a bit of spluttering, which, thanks to really high end equipment, was so clear that Xander felt like he should duck out of the potential spit zone.

"No, he's makin' the beast with two back...

we're shaggin'," Spike said with a roll of his eyes. Giles just got up and disappeared from the television.

"Okay, calling it a 'beast' doesn't really do much to drop the weird o'meter," Buffy complained.

"Not to mention ew."

"Oi, you remember that hungry beast, hips crashing together, ravenous mouths--"

"NO!" Buffy shrieked, cutting Spike off.

"No, there is no remembering. And this is supposed to be your intervention, not a journey to the mistakes of Buffy-past. Giles, tell them that they have to stop this before they make themselves and all of us miserable.

Tell them that we're their friends, and as their friends, we are officially worried about them making a huge mistake." Buffy did the speaking, but Willow nodded the whole time.

Giles reappeared in the television screen, dropping heavily onto the couch, drink in hand.

And Xander could always feel special when he drove Giles to drink.

"Oh yes, because the rest of you would never consider undertaking such an unhealthy relationship," Giles said as he leaned to the side, out of the camera's view. Yeah, like they didn't know he was gulping that Scotch.

"Sarcasm is not helping. Big with the not helping," Willow just about whispered, but Giles leaned back into the picture.

"Quite right, but after the abominable day I've had, it makes me feel a good deal better," Giles pointed out, and not for the first time Xander considered that Giles just might be turning into one of those cranky old men who have the bad habit of sharing large quantities of truth.

"Okay, none of us are batting a thousand on the significant other front...

nowhere near a thousand. More like a number far below a thousand, and if I knew baseball, I could give a number," Willow admitted, "but we don't have to sit by and smile while Xander makes this mondo mistake because we do all remember that Xander hates Spike. We all remember this, yes?

"

Buffy leaned back on the couch and made a face. "Oh, I remember fighting and snapping and occasional not-so-practical joke including blood and soy sauce, but I'm not sure I remember any hating since Spike came back from the dead."

Spike snorted.

"Not that this is any of you lot's business, but Xander and I won't end up as bollocked up as the rest of you, and we don't need your approval," Spike interrupted. Then he turned toward the monitor and the camera. "And if you think I care enough about your opinion to get you on the line for some sort of seal of approval on my sex life, you're doin' way too much drinking, Rupes.

Got bigger fish to fry here."

Xander held his breath as that truth sank into the room. The wind shifted and big drops of rain splattered against the window.

"And this would be where the slightly weird turns to kooky hi-jinx with Xander tracking down the vampires before the attack even took place," Buffy said. She stared at him expectantly and Willow blinked and Giles leaned forward and got that expression where his eyes got all narrow.

"You tracked the vampires?

" Giles asked.

"Xander?" Willow prompted.

Xander just sat there, unable to find any words in the entire English language that would help.

"He's a Shaman," Spike announced, his voice all smirky. Willow froze, but Giles sat back in his chair.

"Okay, and I'm assuming you've lost your mind. Xander is not a weirdo with the bird feathers sticking up out of his hair." Buffy used her fingers to mimic the Shaman Giles had called to the estate.

"There's a wide range of shamanic powers, but why would you come to the conclusion that Xander was Shaman?" Giles asked. Because of the whole camera thing, it looked like he was staring down Buffy, but Xander guessed that would be Spike getting the demanding-Watcher glare.

"Pet, tell 'im," Spike prompted, and Xander glared over at his lover. Stupid vampire.

Taking a deep breath, Xander shrugged and focused on the blinking VCR light as he started.

"Jim figured out that I was a Shaman because I have a spirit animal." Xander avoided admitting that his spirit animal was a kodkod, that admission would require torture.

"The Sentinel?

" Giles asked.

"Yeah. He has these dreams, kinda like Buffy, which might make Willow's whole theory about a male half of the slayer line a little more plausible," Xander agreed.

"But, how do we know that his dream meant anything?" Willow asked. "Last night I dreamed about vacationing in Arizona with Kennedy and then she started the whole 'I know best for you' crap and suddenly we were in the mall, and a giant Santa fell on her, and guts squished out.

I'm thinking it was just a dream."

Xander looked at Willow with more than a little concern.

"Can we please deal with one potential disaster at a time?

" Giles asked. "Xander, while prophetic dreams are quite common in some types such as Slayers and Seers, it does not automatically follow that a Sentinel would either possess that skill or correctly interpret it. Understanding prophetic dreams can—"

"I can see another world," Xander blurted.

That stopped Giles who just blinked at him through the computer screen.

"I see," Giles finally declared.

"Xander, they might have done a spell, something that scrambled your vision.

I could check, fix it," Willow offered.

"There's nothing to fix, Will," Xander protested. "It's always been there, only I didn't know it.

"

"Okay, I would have noticed if you'd broken out with the magical powers," Buffy protested. "Xander, you're the heart of our group, and you always will be, but all through high school you wanted some sort of powers that would make you different, and now you're coming in here saying that all that time you were some powerful, magical creature. Is anyone else getting the not-right vibe?

You know, like when Dawn thought she was a Slayer? Not that there's anything wrong with normal, and now Dawn happier doing Cambridge than she would have been doing Slayer." Buffy looked at him with this expression of compassionate understanding—or possibly condescension—and Xander felt the need to shrink into himself.

Yep, that was one person who totally didn't believe him. From Willow's expression, probably two.

"Oi, just because you're bloody blind doesn't mean it's not true.

What did Caleb call him? The one who sees everything, wasn't it?"

"Oh yeah, and we're taking evil guy's word on that?

" Buffy demanded.

"No, you're takin' Xander's word on it," Spike said quietly, and Xander watched as Buffy blushed a deep red. Willow looked down at her lap, picking at the edge of her sweater.

Buffy found her voice first. "Xander, I totally believe that you believe this, but this is a little out there, more out there than you dating Spike which, really, ever since you took one look at the Initiative and asked if you could sleep with Riley, I kinda figured that you had the gayness going on," Buffy said slowly

"Xander dates girls, and there's nothing wrong with boys dating boys, but Xander doesn't," Willow protested. "And he's just been off since he got back from Africa.

He did the whole trying to get himself killed thing, and then the hiding in his room thing until he turned pale as a mushroom, and now the dating someone who hates him thing, and is anyone else spotting the pattern because I'm thinking psychological help." Willow nodded knowingly. "Serious, expensive psychological help.

"

"Bloody hell. Caleb told us way back what we couldn't soddin' see on our own. This doesn't have fuckin' anything to do with Xander's depression or your bloody fucked up love lives," Spike snapped at both girls.

"The fact is that Caleb never did lie to us, had too much truth to use against us, didn't he? And the truth *is* that Xander is the one who sees everythin'. So pull your heads out of your arses.

"

Giles cleared his throat in the silence that followed Spike's outburst, and Xander was reminded of the way Spike had ripped all of them when they'd turned on Buffy, accusing her of losing her Slayer-center during the fight with the First.

"Perhaps we could focus on this other world. Xander, can you describe what you see?

" Giles asked, and Xander tried to not get his hopes up that someone would believe him because it hurt when hopes fell off that reality cliff and got all smashed at the bottom.

"Um, threads," Xander said. He closed his eye and let the world slip away just a little bit, so that when he opened his eye, he could see the threads tangled about the room.

"It's like everyone has this cord in their center, and it unravels as they move around. There's so many of them, but if I concentrate on a feeling, I can block out the ones that don't match and find what I'm looking for."

"And you always had that power?

" This time Giles sounded more than a little skeptical. Yep, good thing he hadn't gotten his hopes up. That fall would have hurt.

"In the feeling a Hellmouthy vibe way, yeah," Xander offered. He took a deep breath and pushed away that little voice that told him to just fake normal, which was more than ironic considering everyone else in the room had superpowers. "And I'm thinking that the whole demon magnet was more of me being able to feel the evil in a person, but then once I found the evil, like with hardware store gal, I couldn't do much with the stopping the evil because I don't have the total upgrade with the super stealthy fighting skills.

But the being able to actually see the other world is a little new," Xander pushed ahead.

"So, three weeks with this other Shaman, and you have accessed your dormant powers?" Giles asked without even trying to hide the disbelief.

"Xander, as much as I believe that you are telling us the truth as you see it, that simply isn't possible. To go from a potential Shaman to having full access to shamanic powers takes years of training, meditation, often some sort of apprenticeship, and quite possibly a number of spiritual voyages, either with or without mind altering drugs that would allow you to break down the barriers to access your power. I'm afraid I have to agree with Willow that something might have been done without your knowledge.

"

"Boy had an apprenticeship," Spike held up a hand to stop Willow who'd already bounded up from the couch, probably to go get some magic herbs to 'fix' Xander. "Xander apprenticed under Blair, and since the fuzzy little Shaman has his powers centered in teachin' others, so it bloody well is possible."

"Blair is a trado Shaman?

" Giles asked.

"Yeah, seems like. And the fact is that Xander could track those vamps, just like he would track the criminals back in Cascade.

Didn't say anything to him since the title would mean anything, but unless I miss my guess, he's an animus Shaman."

Giles sucked air through his teeth.

"Okay, was that a good noise or a bad noise, because I'm having trouble keeping up with this conversation," Buffy interrupted.

Giles took another breath. "The Shaman I asked for help with our ghostly postman was a neco Shaman, his powers were with the dead. Spike is suggesting that Xander is an animus Shaman, one who has powers over the soul.

"

"Oh goddess," Willow whispered, her face pale.

"Okay, still officially not following the conversation, people," Buffy said.

"And make that two of us because I'm big with the tracking, not with the power over souls," Xander agreed.

"And does anyone else hear creepy horror-flick soundtracks when someone says 'power over souls'?" Xander asked.

"Unlike witches, Shaman are born, not trained," Giles explained.

"They never have more than one power, but that one power does tend to be rather powerful since it is part of them from birth. A casus Shaman can create accidents or chaos, a trado Shaman specializes in teaching, a solis Shaman controls light. Spike thinks that Xander is an animus Shaman, one whose powers center around the soul.

"

"Okay, here comes that cold, creepy, someone walking over your grave feeling," Buffy asked softly.

"Oh, yeah," Xander agreed. Really, he didn't want those kinds of really big special powers.

"Call Angel," Spike suggested. "Boy put on a show for him, looked right into the sod's twisted soul and told the old man a truth or two he didn't want to hear."

"Angel?

You went to Angel?" Giles asked.

"Soddin' right I did," Spike agreed.

"The boy's mine, and I had to let Peaches know exactly what he'd let slip through his fingers when he had the boy tucked under his arm on Parent-Teacher night."

"You bloody fool. If Xander is an animus Shaman, Angelus has more than enough reason to come after him if the soul happens to slip free again.

" Giles stood up, and the camera angle cut his head off so that the monitor was full of Giles' white, button-up shirt.

"Yeah, he does," Spike agreed. "But one of you lot would have told him eventually, or Andrew would have.

The git can't keep secrets."

Giles bent over and stared right into the camera. "I'm coming home.

Don't do anything until I get there." He reached up and hit a button so that the monitor flickered and went grey.

"That would imply that any of us had any idea what to do," Buffy said softly.

Xander found himself agreeing with her. The whole Shaman bit was great in Cascade, but this was really getting to be a little too much on the stress scale. He blinked away the image of that other world, the gold threads of slayers burning into his eyes for a moment longer than the other threads.

Xander felt fingers at the back of his neck, and he let himself lean back into the touch.

"Right, I'm taking the boy to bed," Spike announced as he stood up, and tugged Xander up with him. Xander felt himself blush, but then Spike pulled him out of the room before he could stammer his good nights.