With one last chance at becoming one of "American Idol's" Top 12 finalists, which entails singing on the "big kids" stage, you would think that the remaining eight guys would have made song selection a priority and presentation, i.e., hitting the notes and dressing like somebody, no brainers.
Well, in my eight weeks of covering Season 6, I can't recall being this disappointed. At one point during the hour, I think I was looking at how the crown molding in the living room fit together so nicely. That's how "blah" the dudes were on Tuesday night.
There was also a mishmash of song choices, from Pearl Jam to LeAnn Rimes, for goodness sakes! Throw in Rare Earth and, yikes!, Stevie Wonder (again).
For host Ryan Seacrest to say that the three judges were "underwhelmed" is an understatement.
And, yes, things got off to a silly start with Ryan announcing each contestant would reveal a secret about themselves before they performed. (Can't wait to hear what Antonella Barba's hiding when the girls perform tonight.
) As for the guys, the secret's already out: They are just mediocre - at best - this season. No Hicks. No Yamin.
And certainly no Daughtry.
That said, here are the highs - and many lows - of Tuesday night's show:
* Blake Lewis: His secret? He loves Halloween and playing funny characters.
Funny thing is, no one - not me or any of the three judges - had a clue as to the song he performed. Usually I can count on Randy Jackson for a hint, but not this time. Blake had to tell everyone it was "All Mixed Up" by one of his favorite bands, 311.
Randy: "I loved it, with the whole hip-hop/reggae thing. But I didn't recognize the song at all."
Paula Abdul: "I was interested.
But I don't know the song either."
Simon Cowell: "I couldn't understand a word of it. But, you stand out in the crowd because you're making it current.
You 100 percent will be here next week."
* Sanjaya Malakar: His secret? I was shocked to find out that Sanjaya, who shouldn't even be here at this point, took hula lessons when he lived in Hawaii four years ago.
He sang John Mayer's "Waiting on the World To Change." OK, I officially agree with Simon: Sanjaya's hair is the only thing keeping him in the competition.
Randy: "It was a little better than last week.
But you haven't returned to form since the audition."
Paula: "I think the guys around you are pushing you to be better. You need to get out of your comfort zone.
"
Simon: "I agree. It was not as ghastly as last week. But this is a singing competition, and that wasn't a very good vocal.
"
* Sundance Head: His secret? "I wear a fat suit on TV. Actually, I'm a super-sexy thin guy.
" Bet that's news to his spouse. But I digress. Sundance, who bawled profusely as the two guys from last week went home, was anything but weepy.
Whipping the microphone around, he blasted - emphasis on "blasted" - Pearl Jam's "Jeremy." Again, I hadn't heard this song - ever.
Randy: "I like the Southern rock thing, but you lost the melody at points.
"
Paula: "I appreciate the try." (What does this mean?)
Simon: "You're in the 'Sundance groove.
' I didn't like it as much as last week ("Mustang Sally") because it had a generic bar-singer sound, like you were shouting the whole song. But you do have a unique quality."
* Chris Richardson: His secret?
"I played football in college and I got a little chunky. About 40 pounds more than I weigh now." Moving on.
Chris, who is definitely an audience fave, went country (sort of) with Keith Urban's "Tonight I Wanna Cry." Finally, a decent song choice.
Randy: "Every week, you put your own twist on (the song choice).
You are definitely in it to win it."
Paula: "Great song. I like the pop/country adaptation.
"
Simon: "Again, I'm not jumping out of my chair. It was cutesy, and you were a little nasally. I don't think we've heard what you're capable of, but you sold it.
"
* Jared Cotter: His secret? "I played college basketball, but I quit to be a singer." Really?
!! Jared moved from Marvin Gaye to Stevie Wonder this week.
And he dropped the weird hand gesture on "If You Really Love Me."
Randy: "I was little worried about you singing Stevie. But it was a good, solid performance.
"
Paula: "I think you need to work on coloring up your moments by trying different things." (I had no idea what this meant. Explanation to follow.
)
Simon: "I think I know what Paula's trying to say. You're not very original. We've heard a lot of people like you.
You're popular, but none of the guys is having the 'wow' factor tonight."
* Brandon Rogers: His secret? He can play classical piano - and really well.
Fall-back job? Definitely. Brandon had one of the oddest song choices (for me at least) of the night - Rare Earth's "I Just Want To Celebrate.
"
Randy: "You brought a rock edge to it. But it got a little messed up at the end."
Paula: "Phenomenal.
You're where you belong."
Simon: "I don't believe you've represented yourself well because you're one of the better singers. Think about the girls and how they've picked memorable songs.
I'm nervous for you this week."
* Phil Stacey: His secret? "I haven't always been bald.
I had hair once, but I shaved it. Now I'm the bald guy on 'American Idol.' " No, Phil.
You're the bald guy on "American Idol" who wears cut-up jeans with a Bing Crosby-esque golf hat (pictured above). Hands down, the most bizarre outfit of the evening. Add the bad look to his rendition of a LeAnn Rimes song, "I Need You," and Phil was a total mess.
Randy: "Interesting song choice. You've got a big ol' voice, but the low part of your registry is pitchy.
Paula: "It was an odd song choice.
And chancey."
Simon: "I didn't get that at all - the hat, the eyes - and it was a very strange choice of song. Not good enough, sorry.
"
Note: Even Phil, who said afterward that he picked the song because he loved it, admitted it was "obviously the wrong choice."
* Chris Sligh: His secret? "I used to have short hair.
But I shaved my head to see what my hair would look like when it grew back. Now I look like Phil Stacey. But this is no perm.
" Good to know. Chris, who just might be getting on one of my five last nerves, sang "We All Want To Be Loved." Any thoughts on where this compilation comes from?
I'm saying that it's DC Talk. If I'm wrong, let me know. Anyway, why not end the night on yet another weird choice?
Randy: "I'm not sure it was my favorite song. But, you get the vocal prize of the night."
Paula: "It wasn't my favorite performance.
I think you need to stretch a little more vocally."
Simon: "The beginning was good. But you shouted in the middle.
However, I believe you've done enough to get through."
With that, the guys' competition was mercifully over. Again, the song choices were all over the place.
And I don't like the hokey "secret" thing. Some of these "performers" need to rethink the things they say they like to do - hula dancing, shooting hoops. Anything other than singing.
The Top 8 girls perform at 8 tonight. And Ryan informed us that Season 3 winner Carrie Underwood will appear on the elimination show Thursday night; I thought she was above the whole "Idol" thing. Interesting.
Plus, we find out the mystery behind what Ryan calls "the biggest event in 'Idol' history."
The Associated Press calls it "escapist entertainment.
" I call it "I'm paid to watch." Whatever. Today's Nielsen ratings (see the list on Wednesday's Scene Page 3) have Fox dominating - certainly in the middle of the week last week.
Three editions of "American Idol," coupled with three installments of the cutesy game show "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" (no, I'm not), lifted the network to the top of the ratings heap.
According to Nielsen Media Research, nothing else last week came within 5 million viewers of these two programs.
Wow!
I'm still somewhat puzzled at the numbers drop - by more than 2 million viewers - for the elimination-night show. Don't "Idol" fans want to know who gets the heave-ho?
Well, you can always count on me for that scoop!
Apparently not.
The Brit, who is never at a loss for words, is giving lots of interviews to various publications and online sources, spouting venom on everything from former contestant Jennifer Hudson to rehab resident Britney Spears.
* Simon chastises Jennifer (a Season 3 contestant who didn't win on "Idol," but who did nab a recent Oscar for her turn in "Dreamgirls") for not acknowleging "Idol" in her acceptance speech.
"Jennifer Hudson said 'American Idol' was a 'stepping stone' for her. Stepping stone?
It was her big opportunity to become noticed and she got noticed and she got 'Dreamgirls,' " he told Ireland On-Line.
"Singers like her deliberately turn against the show that made them successful. The reason (people) come on the show is because all the doors had been slammed in their face.
" Ouch!
* Simon says he "couldn't care less" about Britney's alleged battle with substance abuse. According to the Voice of America, Simon told a London newspaper: "This whole thing is a total indulgence.
We've allowed these people to feel sorry for themselves. I don't know what's going on in Britney's head but my attitude is, I couldn't care less. She should go back and live with her mum for six months.
" Double ouch!
Meanwhile, can't wait to hear what Simon has in store for the Top 8 guys tonight. And, speaking of Season 6 contestants, it seems the quaint New Jersey town of Point Pleasant is, in some ways, rallying behind one of its own - Top 8 girl contestant Antonella Barba.
(You know I can't let a day go by without an Antonella update.)
According to Reuters, some businesses in the seaside city, about 45 miles south of New York City, have put up "Antonella, You Go Girl!" signs in their windows.
And residents have their own opinions about the racy photos of her splashed all over the Internet.
For example, Matt Purpuro, 47, and owner of Quicky Discount Oil Change Lube and Filter, said, "She was given an unfair rap. I don't see anything wrong with topless on the beach.
"
However, at the Four Point Refrigeration company, employees told Reuters they felt Antonella allowed the photos to be published "because she wants a modeling career and cannot make the grade on her singing."
"She isn't getting anywhere on that voice," said Michele Wells, 27, a secretary.
Well, we'll see what happens to our Jersey Girl come Wednesday night, when the female contestants compete.
If I were Antonella, I'd definitely sing a Mariah Carey song. Randy Jackson will love it!
Well, I got royally harangued by my "Idol"-worshipping colleagues here at The Bee after posting Friday that I thought Season 5 contestant Kellie Pickler (pictured) looked good while performing on Thursday night's elimination show.
"What were you thinking?!" "Were we watching the same show?
!" "Are you kidding me?!
"
The hair, the dress, the shoes. No one approved. I took a major beating.
"She looked 40 or older," bellowed one watcher. "She looked like a junior version of Tammy Wynette."
"I didn't even recognize her," chimed in another.
"Neither did my husband."
In my defense of Kellie, I think I was having a meltdown because I feared something stupid was about to happen with regard to the "American Idol" eliminations. And I was right A.
J. Tabaldo got the boot, along with Nick Pedro from the guys. And Alaina Alexander and Leslie Hunt also were sent packing from the girls.
Leslie and A.J. should have stayed, even though they sang the same song - "Feelin' Good.
"
In their musical dust, we're still facing another round of the awful song stylings of Antonella Barba, the queen of wet T-shirt shots, and Sanjaya Malakar, who I hope sings Paul Anka on Tuesday night. That ought to finish him for good. Unless, of course, the pity party is still in full swing and the Web site www.
votefortheworst.com is still influencing tone-deaf voters.
Now, back to Kellie, who remains a favorite from last season, especially on "The View.
" I'm thinking they're going to hire her any day now. OK, so the hair was dated, and the shoes were from the disco era, and the dress, well, it wasn't so much the dress as it was - dare I say it? - Kellie's enhanced figure.
(That was also a topic of discussion.) I'm not saying one way or the other about that. What I will say is that Kellie can spend her money anyway she wants.
And, you have to admit the young lady can sing, as evidenced by her Academy of Country Music Award nomination Monday for Top New Female Vocalist (natch). (Season 4 winner Carrie Underwood is up for five ACMs.) The awards will be handed out May 15.
This much I can say: Antonella Barba and Sanjaya Malakar have officially turned a singing competition into a first-class pity party, complete with tears, shock and awe and, probably for their female and male counterparts, some sleepless nights for the next week.
Thursday night's "American Idol" elimination show left me frustrated. That became evident when I started humming Ethel Merman's "A Pretty Girl is Like a Melody.
" You know, the part where she sings the line "that haunts you night and day"?
And, while I'm not stunned that Alaina Alexander was voted off and maybe even Nick Pedro, I had to be scooped off the floor when Antonella lived to, uh, sing another week. The whole pretty-girl thing is soooo done.
Ditto that A.J. Tabaldo (pictured above) went home over Sanjaya and his well-conditioned hair.
Come on, folks! It's Season 6. If you're keeping these two around because you feel sorry for them, get over it.
Yes, the judges put them through, and I'm sure they're rethinking those decisions as we speak.
Here's the thing: I didn't think Leslie Hunt (who also left last night) was going to make it to the Top 12, but I certainly think she deserved one more crack at it over Antonella. I can only surmise that this whole nude photo scandal has made Antonella the darling of the competition.
In fact, Lycos.com just released this astounding number: Online interest in all things sordid about Antonella soared 47,400 percent (you read that right) over the past 72 hours or so.
As for Sanjaya - while he doesn't have any racy photos in cyberspace (that we know of), he's stirring up votes obviously to get back at the judges for their "keeping it real" remarks.
What does this mean?
Well, among the guys, it could spell trouble for contestants like Brandon Rogers and Jared Cotter - even Sundance Head - who are on shaky ground if Sanjaya's conquest continues. Among the girls, last night saw the trio of Antonella, Leslie and Jordin Sparks face the music together.
A shocked Antonella got to sit first, leaving Leslie and a visibly shaken Jordin, who also survived but must be considered on the bubble now - along with Haley Scarnato. Gina Glocksen, who sailed through, was also bawling - maybe because she and Leslie were roommates.
Alaina, whom I can't imagine thought she would survive, was the most dejected of the four who left, barely able to sing her Dixie Chicks song, leaving most of the vocals to the "Idol" backup singers, who, to their credit, did a nice job.
Nick, A.J. and Leslie made it through their songs, though Leslie shouted out at the end, "Why did I decide to scat?
" and "America don't care for jazz!"
Next Tuesday and Wednesday, the Top 8 guys and girls will compete. Next Thursday, the last four semifinalists are eliminated, with the final 12 revealed.
They compete for the first time March 13.
It's not going to happen, but I hope the group sing-along is disbanded next week. Last night's rendition of "Joy to the World" sounded like a high school production.
If the producers want to do Three Dog Night, why not break the groups up and have them sing snippets from other Dog songs?
One bright spot in the night was the return of Season 5 contestant Kellie Pickler, who is about to hit the road, on tour with country star Brad Paisley. Kellie's debut CD, "Small Town Girl," has gone gold and, I must say, she looked fabulous Thursday.
Love the Marilyn Monroe/Christina Aguilera coif and the cute dress. Loved the silver shoes. Even Kellie admitted to Ryan Seacrest that she was spending a chunk of her change on footwear.
She performed "I Wonder," which she co-wrote. I heard her perform this song live for the first time back in January when she appeared on "The View." It's about her relationship - or lack thereof - with her estranged mother.
And it's so emotional that Kellie - and the audience - tear up every time she performs it. Check it out at iTunes.
I scream, you scream
Everyone from Ford to Coke has hitched its advertising wagon to "American Idol." So, it's no surprise that Dreyer's ice cream has joined the "Idol" party, launching a special line of ice creams. No, the pint-size flavors don't sing, but they probably taste really good. (Don't know about you, but we can't wait to try.
)
The five "Idol" ice creams come under Dreyer's "slow-churned" label: Choc 'N Roll Caramel, Hollywood Cheesecake, Soulful Sundae Cone, Take the Cake, and Triple Talent. And, just like "Idol" fans can vote for their favorite singers, they also can vote for their favorite flavor. The winning "Idol" flavor will earn a permanent spot in Dreyer's ice-cream arsenal.
Here's how it works: Go to www.slowchurned.com to vote.
In addition to helping select the next new Dreyer's ice cream, each person who votes gets the chance to win some nifty prizes, including a 50-inch HDTV plasma TV, an "American Idol" ice cream party for 75, or a trip to the "Idol" finale show in May.
And while we can't offer you a taste, here's a brief description of each flavor:
* Choc 'N Roll Caramel: caramel and chocolate ice creams with a caramel swirl and mini caramel cups.
* Hollywood Cheesecake: cheesecake-flavored ice cream with graham cracker and strawberry swirls.
* Soulful Sundae Cone: vanilla and chocolate ice creams swirled with chocolate-coated peanuts and cone pieces.
* Take the Cake: yellow cake-flavored ice cream, blue frosting swirl and multicolored confetti sprinkles.
* Triple Talent: milk chocolate, chocolate mousse and dark chocolate ice creams.
No microphone or stage needed, just a big spoon.
The good, the bad, the pretty
After the second week of competition among the female contestants, it's clear to my ears that there's an obvious Top 6 for the "American Idol" Top 12: Gina Glocksen, Lakisha Jones, Melinda Doolittle, Jordin Sparks, Stephanie Edwards and Sabrina Sloan.Let me know if you heard differently.
I'd be surprised.
Wednesday's "Dedication Night" for the girls saw these six contestants make relatively good song choices and perform as well, if not better, than last week. There were a few fashion selections that I didn't agree with.
And, because I also cover that topic for The Bee, I found judge Simon Cowell's fashion critiques quite accurate.
For example, the apricot-hued top and short denim skirt that Lakisha wore was somewhat distracting. Not because of her size; it just wasn't flattering and I found myself looking at her clothes more than I listened to her singing.
But that's no big deal.
I think once "Idol" gets down to the Top 12, and the guys and girls are together, all will be right with the show, especially since the guys stepped it up this week.
So, in order of their performances, here are the high - and low - notes from Wednesday night's show, including my thoughts and the judges' impressions:
* Gina Glocksen: Dedicated her performance to her boyfriend, Joe, who has stuck around through all of Gina's "Idol" odyssey.
He even dyed his hair red as a gesture of love. Gina got edgy as she rocked to Heart's "Alone." Ah, remembrances of college.
The red satin dress was a bit much for me. I could see her in black leather pants instead.
Randy Jackson: "Good song choice.
It started a little pitchy, but you were throwing it down."
Paula Abdul: "Carrie (Underwood) sang that song two seasons ago. And you also did an excellent job.
"
Simon: "The vocals felt a little forced at the end. You're never going to out sing the other big voices in this competition."
* Alaina Alexander: Dedicated her performance to her mom, who worked multiple jobs to support their family.
"She's the strongest person I know," Alaina said. Her song choice? The Dixie Chicks' "I'm Not Ready to Make Nice.
" You really need two sisters by your side to pull this one off.
Randy: "It started off good. By the chorus, it was turning pitchy and all over the place.
"
Paula: "That's a hard song to sing. I agree, the pitch was off."
Simon: "It was like if Randy was running a 100-meter sprint and he ran out of steam about three-quarters of the way through.
You lost it in the middle."
* Lakisha Jones: Dedicated her performance to her 93-year-old grandmother who, apparently, has a major crush on host Ryan Seacrest. Lakisha's version of "Midnight Train to Georgia" brought back memories of Paris Bennett singing the same song last season.
Both performances were superb.
Randy: "You flipped it from last week. It was hot.
You've just got to forget the nerves."
Paula: "I loved it. I love you.
" (Short and sweet.)
Simon: "That was an interesting dance at the end. For me, it was not as good as last week.
You didn't have that prove-a-point attitude. You're a phenominal singer. You should be acting like a big star.
"
* Melinda Doolittle: Dedicated her performance to her friends, "my two Gayles. One is my vocal coach, the other my stylist."
Now these must be two really good friends because Melinda sang great and looked fabulous with her rendition of the standard "My Funny Valentine.
"
Randy: "We've got a competition going! You came out tonight and won it. You and Lakisha.
Wow!"
Paula: "It was astounding, and you phrased (the song) so differently."
Simon: "That was incredible.
For me, it was the best vocal throughout the competition. Compared to some of the precocious monsters with enormous egos we've seen, you're a breath of fresh air. You don't know how good you are.
"
* Antonella Barba: Dedicated her performance to her brother - apparently, the real musician in the family. I'm sorry (sort of) to be so hard on Antonella, but listening to her is like acrylic nails on a chalkboard (pun definitely intended). After getting ripped by the judges last week, she said she felt like she had picked a better song this week.
Celine Dion? Are you kidding me? "Because You Love Me" is on the list of no-sing songs.
And that pretty face and short-short dress? That's runway stuff, not stage stuff.
Randy: "You are drop-dead gorgeous.
But it was completely the wrong song for you. The pitch was all over the place. Hey, I wish I could sing like Celine Dion, but I can't.
"
Paula: "Less than 1 percent of the population can sing her songs. But it was leaps and bounds from last week."
Simon: "No, the vocals weren't good enough and it was worse than last week.
"
* Jordin Sparks: Dedicated her performance to her younger brother P.J. ("We goof around a lot, and I really love him so much.
") Jordin opted to sing Christina Aguilera's "Reflection," and it seemed a natural for her.
Randy: "You chose a really good song. It had some pitchy moments.
But I'm very impressed, especially since you're only 17."
Paula: "You're infectious. One brilliant, talented girl and a good human being.
"
Simon: "It wasn't your best. I think the dedications are getting to you. But you have massive potential.
"
* Stephanie Edwards: Dedicated her performance to her parents, "who pushed me to audition. I didn't want to, but they made the hotel reservations."
Listen to your mom and dad!
Stephanie performed Destiny's Child/Beyonce's "Dangerously in Love."
Randy: "You proved you should be up here. But you don't have to be Beyonce-like.
Don't worry about that."
Paula: "I think you were fantastic and brilliant."
Simon: "You're coming out here and putting your mark on this competition.
It was a terrific performance."
* Leslie Hunt: Dedicated her performance to her grandfather Bob. "He was the definition of unconditional love," she said.
Leslie is one of those on-the-bubble contestants. I defer to America's ears on this one. She sang a very Michael Buble-esque version of "Feelin' Good.
"
Randy: "It was a jazzy, scattin' kind of thing. But it was just all right for me."
Paula: "You're back in your element.
Leslie, I think you're just a different flavor of ice cream."
Simon: "You sounded like Paula talking. You were whacked by three or four big voices before you.
Not many people will remember you."
(Note: Did anyone catch that contestant A.J.
Tabaldo sang the same song on Tuesday night?)
* Haley Scarnato: Dedicated her performance to her fiance Bobby. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes, and I can't wait to marry him.
"
I like Haley, but, once again, she took off on Whitney Houston. I distinctly remember her also being on the "no-sing" hit list. And "Queen of the Night?
" Too much connection to the movie "The Bodyguard." I kept waiting for Kevin Costner to rescue her. And, I think the background singers were better.
Randy: "Well, the band had a good time. I think there were more background parts than lead vocals on that song. It wasn't great for me.
"
Paula: "You were leaps and bounds better than last week." (I'm serious. Paula repeated this to yet another contestant.
Where's the advice?)
Simon: "I give you an 'A' for effort. But it was manic verging on insane, taking on a Whitney song.
I believe you're one of three girls in peril."
* Sabrina Sloan: Dedicated her performance to her grandmother, "Grammy," who is 86. "She's glamorous for her age, and I appreciate her love of music.
"
If I hadn't watched, I wouldn't have believed it. Back-to-back Whitney Houston songs! But, I believe Sabrina fared better with "All the Man That I Need" than Haley.
Maybe.
Randy: "You lost touch with the pitch."
Paula: "It was fantastic.
You're a big contender in this competition."
Simon: "Don't confuse power with shouting. You should be singing something younger, more refreshing.
Whitney is a tough choice, and I'm not jumping out of my chair."
Tonight's elimination show (at 8 on Fox) will see two girls and two guys go home. Special guest?
Season 5 Southern charmer Kellie Pickler who, by the way, sang the national anthem at the Daytona 500 last month. I was surprised but delighted to see her there. Bet she didn't rub elbows with Kelly Clarkson.
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