Any ideas who you rsquo;ll go for..?
)
We read the box three times over)
If your answer wasn t Jeff Goldblum, then you are in the minority, freak.
Well, you re in the minority if you re in the Eastern Bloc anyway. Over there the mere mention of his name is enough to make hearts flutter and perspiration gather on necks and nethers.
You should all know that the Bloc s Jeff Goldblum-mania isn t for his acting ability per se, but because hawk-nosed men are a delicacy in many places where communism died.
Seriously, he would cost like 15 rubles per pound.
But Lenin s theological playground isn t the only place with a serious Jeff Goldblum craving - America has it too. Some lady, for instance, has taken it upon herself to show up at Goldblum s house like 50 times in the past three months - and it wasn t to talk about Independence Day plot-holes!
The days when Bobby Brown was king of the world, doing songs for Ghostbusters II and possibly getting to smack Whitney Houston in the face whenever he wanted, may be well and truly over - but at least Bobby Brown isn t in jail any more.
Not so long ago Bobby Brown was given a jail sentence for bumbling into Massachusetts even though he knew he d be slapped with an arrest warrant if he ever set foot in that state again. This left Bobby Brown with two choices - either pay up the $19,000 he owed in late child support fees or languish in a jail cell for a month with a burly arsonist who just wanted to paint his face up all pretty.
For one reason or another, Bobby Brown chose jail - and then Washington radio station Hot 99.5 FM decided to pay Bobby s child support bills in return for a week s work on the station.
In other news, hecklerspray is prepared to bust Britney Spears out of rehab so long as she promises to hang around our offices dancing like a monkey in a fez for a year.
We have 27p, a handful of South Korean Won and Disney Happy Meal toy from 1998 to use as bargaining tools. We think we re onto a winner.
You know us by now - when a big news story hits we instinctively think two things: 1) what a massive git and 2) can we do betting on this?
But hey, it s not just big stories that make us think this, it s also cripplingly mediocre ones.
Like, oooh, Charlotte Church getting pregnant. Again, you know what the score is here as well; Charlotte Church - the chainsmoking, permanently binge-drunk opera singer turned rubbish TV presenter - recently made everyone think that she d fallen pregnant by celebrating her 21st birthday in a manner other than drinking her own weight in cheeky Vimtos and then vomiting into her cleavage on the taxi-ride home.
And now it s official - as we announced yesterday, Charlotte Church is pregnant.
So now that Charlotte Church is pregnant, our minds naturally fall to one thing - what the hell is Charlotte Church going to call her baby? Here are the - you guessed it - , with help from Paddy Power
Posted in on March 2nd, 2007 |
Yesterday, hecklerspray revealed this year s hopeful acts for the Eurovision Song Contest.
While most artists from the UK usually gun for a Brit or a Mercury Music prize, some acts don rsquo;t want national fame for their musical ability. Instead, they rsquo;d rather be laughed off the face of the planet.
One individual in particular didn rsquo;t need The Eurovision Song Contest for us to mock and scorn him.
We did it when he fronted wanky-sounding band The Darkness. The only honour he had in the hecklerspray office was when we used a picture of his face to throw darts at.
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