Posts - Blissfully Naked.

a song. She searched for evidence of them from her usual spot on the veranda. There was nothing melodic about their noise.

Compared to the soothing sound of traffic and the staccato beats from the hole in the wall bar beneath her apartment on Girard avenue, these bugs were bordering on being downright obnoxious. She took a long draw on her last cigarette of the evening, watching the miniature plume of smoke drift toward the open sky. It was her last attempt at polluting this quiet rural space, so haughty in its naiveté and airy righteousness.

Her lips curled into a rueful smile. Tomorrow, she would return home to her mother had just worked her last miracle.
Just posted.

Something I spent most of the morning writing. I accidently posted it to the wrong group. Went to the group page, to delete it.

I now realize, deleting it there, deletes it from my blog.
Big post, with no draft. Gone.

I m going to cry very heavily now.
interested in them? Or the worst way anyone has told you thanks, but no thanks .

Oh boy. Here s a little secret about me. I m not really good with the not interested exchange.

I don t like to hurt anyone s feelings. I also don t like to waste anyone s time. I struggle with what s too much detail, and how much the other person needs to know regarding why I m just not feeling the love connection.

I sometimes think most people don t really want to know what I m thinking if it comes to that. For example, in my friendships or associations that have withered or lost their shelf-life..

.the other person normally senses when a distance has occured, but they rarely mention it. And neither do I.

I just persist in politely going through the motions with careful emotional absence until they decide not to be bothered anymore. How perfectly passive aggressive of me.
(Editor s Note: if you ve really crossed a line with me, that hinges on ethics, or the welfare of someone else.

..you can snatch the passive right on off of there.

I ll offer you a full, verbose account of when we expired and why, under those circumstances.)
One of the ways I have learned NOT to do it, is to play up all the persons attributes while explaining that something about our interaction or chemistry just isn t working for me. I ve learned the hard way that this leads to confusion on their part, if I haven t done a good job of being clear that there is no love connection.

Sometimes that gives the other person some belief that they can wear you down, like Urkel.
Stoppit.
Of course the other detractor is having to admit the flimsiness of some of your dealbreakers.

For instance...

I don t want to have to admit that I am so shallow that something like height can kill it for me. I hate to have to day, you are one helluva guy..

.but you re 5 5..

.and I don t like having to bend over to embrace a lover.
Still.

..a person has the right to know that they should not waste their time.

So I try to do a combination of the two. The last time I had to have the I m really not interested in you in that way discussion, it was a two-fold one with my now dear, dear, dear friend Steve. And it s convenient because he was in the process of explaining it to me as well.

We always seem to do it best when in the throes of a debate about something completely unrelated.
During an argument fairly early in our getting to know each other sincerely, I said, S______, that s reason number 100 we would never **insert your favorite term to describe intimacy here**. We both glared at each other, then erupted laughing.

Which is what typically happens whenever we argue. His least tactful way of informing me? Him shrinking back in horror one night when I leaned in to give him a kiss before we went our seperate ways.

Though we ve agreed there s just not a physical chemistry (of a sexual nature) between us...

that look on his face, wounded me for life. LMAO. And to think.

..I thought I was mean.

Laurel and Stacy, didn t it feel like we ve all known each other a bit longer then we actually have? I tell you..

.I m astounded. There truly is just something about vox.

Not sure all the words in the world could ever explain it. And ? Come ON!

!!!

! How does it get any more memorable than that?
I took none of these great pictures (that you re likely already seen, lmao).

Thanks to Ben and Patty and Annabelle for capturing the priceless moments. I raise my glass and look forward to many more.
But of course, before I get back to a sea of out of office emails and things to do.

..let me tell you about the ugly.

Yes...

there was ugly. It was warmer in Austin then it was in Cali. I must ve brought the bad weather with me.

A torrent of rain on Thursday morning killed any chance we had for good attendance on the final day of the show. We wrapped up our booth early and headed to the land of the lost airport nearly three hours early. So.

..you may ask what tired expositioners do at the end of a tradeshow with hours to spare in a busted up airport?

You drink. And you drink. And you drink.

Until the airport feels cozy and quaint, until you believe you will turn every lead you acquired into a sale, until 3 hours turns into ten minutes to get to your departure gate. Do I need to tell you where this is headed? Three hours later, RPM is stewed on gin and tonics (why gin?

I m still trying to find the answer to this question), sitting on a full American flight back to ATX sitting beside a young mother and her rambunctious, refuses to sleep ten month old with the hardest little baby shoes I ve ever seen been kicked by in my life. Armed with the sippy cup from hell finding its way to my lap, I wafted between green sleep (hello quease) and nasty eye rolls tossed in the general direction of the little darling who used me as a sippy cup rest and kickboard for a three and half hour flight. When did she fall asleep?

While we waited to de-plane after landing, naturally.
I got off the plane, found the restroom..

.and uh..

.got reacquainted with the six or so gin and tonics consummed. I want to believe that s all I had.

I would have further discussions with these cursed beverages once I got in the house. Mecca could barely hide her disgust. I managed to dial a friend in South Carolina who (hanceforth be referred to as K) was waiting up to know I made it home.

He was very supportive as he stifled laughter very poorly. Even pickled I have to say, he has a way about him.
I think I m gonna like him.

Nothing ugly about that. But that s another story for another day.


I have some random thoughts I will share, because trips of this nature make it very hard for me to piece together anything too heady and spiritual.

It s kinda like trying to center your chi in the midst of the running of the bulls. Nope sorry folks, it s work RPM today and so I must rant. San Jose International.

..you need work.

The rental car facility is located practically in another country, and with shuttles that run every twenty minutes or so, the line of people waiting for transportation TO the rental facility looked like a line for a rock concert. Way too long, way too sprawling for my schedule. Not to mention all the signs that tell you where to go for the rental shuttles, are outside of the airport.

All of the information counters...

.have surprisingly little information, and there weren t any kiosks to provide any assistance either. GUH-reat.

Baggage Claim might as well be the Bermuda Triangle. Wander in, good luck wandering back out.
25 minutes later, I arrive at the car rental facility and pick up my rental and head out into the darkness to find my family amid the mountains, the freeways and the poorly marked little side streets of San Jose.

By the time I got in, I was tired and ready for a glass or two of Shiraz and some peaceful time.
Today is registration day for the tradeshow, and I m realizing I ve got to get myself back in the East coast rhythm of doing business. Ironic, considering I m on the opposite coast, but these tradeshows require focus, attention, planning and the ability to adapt as you get a feel for traffic flow.

After a long haitus of creative planning, dreaming, piecing together an image, the brutal side of the job has reared back with a vengeance. It will be this way on through October, which means days and hours will fly and before you know it..

.I ll look up and another year will be gone.
All hail the show season.

On a seriously bright and cheery note, I m catching up with some voxers tomorrow night after the tradeshow and I am really looking forward to it! I m sure there will be a photo oportunity or two, and hugs a plenty. That s going to be the best shot of glee medicine I ve seen in about a month - so you know there will be a post about that.

*temporarily distracted by the beautiful, tall brown man that s waiting in line for his coffee. Does silly little smile, laugh thing, then returns to post*
Where was I?
Oh yes, so tomorrow will be magically voxalicious.

Which I need, but yesterday I experienced melancholia tugging at my hair. And I really don t want or need that.

What s a leap of faith to you?

Have you ever taken one?

I love this question. Absolutely love it.

I believe a leap of faith is an action or step you take having no notion of what s to happen next. It is born of a quiet knowing, simmering somewhere deep within you. It begins as a quiet voice whispering a suggestion.

You can t ignore it, or it will simply grow louder and louder until it washes out the sound of any thought you can come up with to object to its absurd suggestion. There is no net, no practice and no real preparation. It is not calculated and couldn t be, because you have no idea which way the road is going to turn as you walk on the path - and something about that drives you on.

It s a midnight walk with your eyes blind and the belief that you are going to be fine, if not better, for it.
Yes, I took one. Two huge ones in the last three years.

With little information (and little encouragement), I decided rather abruptly to move to Austin, Texas from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I made the bold choice to pack up and move away from all things familiar to start a new job and begin a new life in a town where I knew only one person. I hunted for the right job, which at the time was simply one that would pay me what I wanted to be paid and would allow me to work from my new location.

I found the job, got the job and began searching for apartments over the internet. In 6 weeks, I managed a new job, a new residence and a new life. I packed up and ignored the nagging in the back of my mind that warned I was walking into certain darkness.

I looked my family in the eyes, all of them sad and concerned for me...

and I left.
I drove 32 hours with my Dad, down through southern states and across the country until we hit Texarkana and made our way down to Austin by way of Dallas and I-35. I was following a burning fire in my heart that no one could understand.

Running from the drowning monotony of my existence in Philly where I felt like I was dying a bit everyday, to what I thought would be the open arms of love, of freedom and a restart on a stale life.
It was a restart. In more ways then I could ever convey in this post.

I learned that leaps of faith never promise happy endings...

but they do guarentee an amazing learning and growth curve if you re up for it. Sometimes it works out as you dreamt, most times it turns out even better than you could have ever imagined..

.but you must have the endurance to keep walking that path even when the night descends, the cold creeps in, you find a turn you really don t want to take and you see hints of evil eyes reflecting back at you in the trees. Leaps of faith are rarely easy.

..but they are always worth it.

At least in my opinion.
I woke up this morning the same way I did yesterday..

.
..

.a sick, hollow, empty feeling of chaos. I feel rushed.

Squeezed too tightly and under insane amounts of pressure from deadlines I can t seem to touch, let alone define. Irritated by anything and everything. Coiled tightly.

Ready to strike. I d wake with that sick feeling of doom that has no logic, no meaningful foundation, and would be a complete 180 degree shift from the positive vibes I was feeling at the beginning of the week. I wake up, try and get to the gym and do something exhaustive before this feeling has me trying to find ways to peel my skin off and sink into something a little less.

..raw.

I can outrun myself most times and let beading sweat eat away whatever toxins are trying to seep inside of me before they hit anything porous. But this morning, even an exhausting run at the track across the street that left my knees aching didn t seem to shake it.
I called a friend, another wombat (term of endearment) who never cares when I call.

..just that I do.

..and she reminded me where we are.

Smack up in the beginning of an effin mercury retrograde. Hokum you say? Possibly.

But let me ask you...

1. Feeling a little out of sorts? irritated?

disturbed? uneasy?
2.

Feeling like something said or expressed just didn t come out right, or is someone wildly misunderstanding you?
3. Plans falling through?

Experiencing delays? Problems? Road blocks to some sort of pending event or development?

4. Woud you just generally like to bitch slap the silliness out of someone?

Mercury Retro

themselves for unexpected delays, frustrations, and surprises in everyday life.

This includes everyday routines in commerce, commuting back and forth to work, and in one s communications. During the (very) approximate 24 day periods when Mercury turns retrograde in the sky, in the area of commerce, astrologers generally decisions. It is a period of time thought to be better spent in reflection and in the rethinking of things.

So, reflect. And don t be too hard on yourself if for the next several weeks things just seem to go left when they should go right, people say really really stupid stuff that seems to enfuriate you, or you have a general feeling of malaise. Take a deep breath folks and just remember.

..

My favorite astro guy, always has a way with making me feel better about it.

From his Question of the Day: It impedes communication. Delays travel. Creates confusion.

Energises argument. Makes for misunderstanding. And often introduces economic unease, too.

Why? What have we all done to deserve this periodic imposition? Actually, it is a blessing in disguise.

Without it, some things would happen too fast. In this overly rash and hasty world, there would be even less reflection and review. Whatever you are planning or are caught up in now, here is a precious chance to slow things down while you really think them properly through.

In the midst of all this retro nonsense, I did get a snippet of exciting news...

I ve been asked to start a column for a website dedicated to spiritual and emotional well-being. I received an email about it from the owner of the site (and associated business) and we started putting together the framework this week. More details later, when all is firmed up.

I may just wait for the retro to subside..*looks over shoulder*
Until then, put on your retrograde protective suits and take plenty of naps.

Cheers!

What was your favorite toy as a kid?
My favorite toy, not sure I had a favorite toy of all time, it varied by age.

I know the ones that stand out are my who taught me the importance of being rail thin, impossibly leggy and the object of affection for a guy with really bad hair. (Thanks Barb). had to have played a critical part in my current battles with panic and anxiety, and really intriguing.

(Click that link for hours of mindless enjoyment) More than anything I suppose, my most favorite and consistently retrieved toy was likely always a book.
What type of music or band do you love?
According to iTunes, I love: Alternative, Punk, Acid Jazz, Electronica/Dance, Electronic, Pop (say it ain’t so), R B (I would say Neo-Soul).

..
Fleetwood Mac, Elton John, Incubus, Nelly Furtado, Javier Navarrete (who better win an Oscar dammit), The Roots and Shirley Bassey.

What color can t you live without?
Brown. It’s all around me, every day.

The color I seem to like close to my skin always. However from a spiritual standpoint, blue is the color that keeps me at peace. It’s the color I’m always searching for behind my eyes.

What is your favorite scent?
Right now it’s by the Body Shop. Room fragrance.

I don’t really care for perfumes and colognes.
Show us something you love.
This still has me howling laughing, Huge fan of Extras.

Chubby little loser...

national joke...

*dead*

I don t like it, actually I really hate it. But is it enough to make me reconsider my election vote? Not likely.

I usually don t speak about what I see or hear or read in the news, because most of what s considered top news just makes me roll my eyes.
But the whole Barack smokes thing? Enough already.

God Bless him for trying to quit smoking during a insanely stressful time in his life. He s preparing a presidency run, he s got the eyes of an entire country on him, he s being scrutinized for every thought he s ever dared express out loud..

.and he picks NOW as the time to stop? Just because the media says, it s not proper for you to do so.

Ummm...

It s also not proper to cheat on your spouse, lie, manipulate, drink excessively, abuse medications, squirrel away funds, break a promise, insult another person s beliefs or kill...

but somehow we manage to just accept some of these things as typical fare in politics.
Is it a hazardous habit? Surely.

Does he know that? Surely. Has his habit infringed on his ability to be an intelligent and savvy political mind?

Not yet. Will his ability or inability to cease smoking give us an indicator of his ability to lead a nation? Let s look at our track record.

George couldn t eat pretzels without choking and he still can t pronounce nuclear. Ronnie was an actor, and sometimes forgot what he was talking about mid-sentence. Bill (don t get me wrong, I dug Bill) couldn t keep himself from the Value meals at Mickey D s, not to mention that difficult problem he had with schtupping women after his marriage to Hil.

Surely, if we could look beyond those little issues with ease...

we can get past a cigarette. It stuns me how we get so caught up in appearances about what our president should and shouldn t do..

.when we are a nation filled to the brim with hypocrisy and absurd double standards. I say, who gives a damn if he smokes?

There s a lot more going on behind the walls of the American home every day that someone, somewhere else might be ashamed of.
Is this REALLY an issue?