Britney Spears Warns Fans about Fake Hair Sales

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"Hello, my name is Britney Spears, and I'm the new president of the Hair Club for Women.

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MALIBU - Britney Spears took time from orchestrating her personal makeover to warn fans not to buy "relics" of her hair on eBay. The eccentric pop star, who raised eyebrows by shaving hers recently, posted the following message on her website at 3:15 a.m.

today.
hi all y'all out there in britneyland,
despite what them false tabloids have been saying about me mdash;britney needs help, britneys a bad mother, britneys got an ugly cooter, and shit like that mdash;i want to insure you, all my fans and friends, that theres a madness to my methods.
before i do that, i have to warn you NOT to buy locklets of my hair on ebay, youse tube, or any UNARTHURIZED persons or person.

their are all false profits and cant be trusted, like it says in the book of revolutions.
because i did NOT leave any lockits of my hair when i was kidnapped and taken to that womans skanky shop, where they dont even serve frappuchino.
ok.

i might have left my bic lighter there (big deal) and a can of red bull (whoop de doo), but one of my bodyguards (I think its the one im not boning) took all my hair, and i will be selling it MYSELF to raise money for my divorce.
if you buy any locklits of my supposed hair from false profits, you are wasting youre money. DO NOT even open the bag that the lockits come in.

you dont know whose hair your getting or where that persons hair has been.
i will be back in awhile to let you know where you can send me money for relics of my hair and how you can test it to see if its really my hair coz i would NOT lie to you, but right now i have to finish lining my basement with aluminum foil.