I have a lot to talk about with you - a lot of celebrities you don t really care about got married this week and a couple died and blah blah blah. I ll get to all that later today.
I have to share this headline with you, though.

Think of it as an aperitif:
Britney Spears was at Pure on New Year s Eve, got tired , and decided to fall asleep in the middle of a giant raucous party.
on alcoholic beverages plus anything else she could get her nail-bitten hands on and passed out in the middle of her party, and had to be carried out with the help of bodyguards.
Let s see .

fell asleep or passed out? Is there an third option?
She was just resting her eyes.

In the back of her head.
When in doubt, go with Robin Leach. Robin Leach knows all.

January 2, 2007. . .

It s been so long since I ve been out on the town with friends. It s also been 2 years since I ve even celebrated my birthday. Every move I make at this point has been magnified more than I expected, and I probably did take my new found freedom a little too far.

Anyway, thank God for Victoria s Secrets new underwear line! I look forward to a new year, new music and a new me.
I m just getting started Happy Holidays everyone!

There ya go, Brit. Back on track. You even used the correct form of anyway , and not the annoying anyways .

Now just cover that coochie and you ll be back in no time! December 7, 2006. .

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And so is Snoop Dog. As in, the Big House.

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But before I get into all the gossip I missed, please accept my apologies for not being around - I had a bunch of Divas in town for Thanksgiving, and then my server went down. But a lot has happened since we last spoke, so let s begin.

For some reason, all over town. This falls under the category Disturbing Hollywood Trends - going out at night wearing short skirts and no undies, and then getting out of a car all unladylike so the hundreds of paparazzi can take a perfect beaver shot.
There are so many things wrong with this phenomenon that I m not sure where to begin.

First, let s talk hygiene. The female love triangle is a delicate flower that should be protected and shielded from all the bad nasties out in the world. I mean, I know in Britney s case, her coochie has already been exposed to the K-Fed dingle-dangle so we know she s not that concerned with keeping her hoo-haa away from germs.

But even so, it she s trying to stage a comeback, showing off the pink taco is not the way to do it.
Okay, I think I used enough vagina euphemisms for today. So what else happened?

in some castle in Italy by a Scientologist. Wait, I just got a twitch under my eye. Seriously.

I have to go dig out some Klonopin to make it stop.
Okay, there. Sorry about that.

So yeah, they got married and she actually looked happy in the photos. But that baby Suri - dude, something is WEIRD about that kid. She looks so not real.

And everyone s talking about how adorable and beautiful she is - sorry, don t see it. She looks like a little adult head on a baby s body.
Okay, let s move onto divorces.

. SHOCKER! That one almost lasted six months.

Supposedly, they went to a private screening of Borat at someone s house and Kid Rock lost his shit when he realized the premise of the movie was Borat was searching for Pam Anderson to do the Sexy Thing with her. So he started yelling at her in front of everyone. So sad.

Borat is turning out to be the downfall of our civilization.
Cameron Diaz is getting or has already gotten , supposedly to help her breathing . W.

E.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes-Cruise of You Lost that Loving Feeling. Seriously.

after partying all night with George Clooney. Awesome.
That s all I can come up with for now.

But keep checking cuz RagHag is BACK! November 30, 2006. , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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The day has arrived, folks:
from K-Fed!
This is BRILLIANT.

  She went on Letterman with a sassy haircut and a ripped tight body, even tho she was in a questionable shorts outfit, all to show the world that Britney is BACK!
You GOOOOOOOOOOO Britney!  Now please, let K-Fed go away quickly and quietly.

November 7, 2006. , , . .

Britney had a boy, but not one named Sutton Pierce.
According to , she named her boy Jayden James Federline.
So instead of sounding like a subdivision, his name sounds like a white-trash girl.

October 24, 2006. , , . .

There s talk that when she gave birth earlier this year.  And the baby may not be named Sutton Pierce at all - it could be Jayden James.
She never confirmed the name Sutton Pierce, and she was seen buying pink girlie clothes.

Her loser husband has a CD coming out on Halloween (appropriately) and she may decide to reveal that she actually had a girl.
I mean, what can I say about that?  Seriously.

  I m at a loss. October 24, 2006. , .

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