If the Muppets dropped acid and then paid a visit to sex therapist Dr. Sue Johanson, maybe they'd start to resemble the wonderfully nubile creations of Cabaret U-Mano.
First comes the heavy-lidded starlet, Mauve, with her fish-net stockings, poutingly sensuously lips and bling for days.
And Kiko, the Latin Lover, with a bulge in his trousers which may – or may not – be due to his microphone.
Then there's the mega-tart, Chica, the transvestite Conrad, super-diva Lorraine and ..
. well, 29 of them in all and not a single one that you would want to bring home to mother.
These puppets sing, they dance, they astonish, they outrage, but most of all, they entertain.
This flamboyantly witty show was a sell-out hit in Montreal earlier this year and its recent Ottawa run earned it reviews which featured raves like cheeky, clever ...
splashy, trashy.
Well, now it has come to Toronto, where it's in previews prior to an opening on Jan. 23 and – from all reports – the Diesel Playhouse will never be the same.
Cabaret U-Mano is the super-sized creation of SOMA International, the Montreal-based group which banded together in 1999 for the purpose of creating new and imaginative styles of entertainment utilizing the classic arts of puppetry.
After years of working for other people, we decided to work for ourselves, for our own pleasure, is how stage director Raynald Michaud describes the creation of the group.
Add stage veteran Michaud with his acute sense of theatricality and you had the ingredients for something special.
The original show in 1999 only featured three puppets and it was called Cabaret Decadanse. It won the Public Award at Just For Laughs and then set out for eight years where they toured the world to universal acclaim.
Enter Quebec impresario Roger Parent, who thought that these artists could take their vision even further.
He invited us to build something bigger, says Michaud and so we came up with Cabaret U-Mano ...
29 different characters performing a unique combination of music, dance and puppetry.
We stir everything up, laughs Michaud. We combine all the arts, we mix all the genders, we use the bodies of our dancers to be part of the puppets .
.. While Michaud proudly embraces the show's naughty aesthetic, he wants to make it clear that sensuality is the right word to describe what we do, not eroticism.
There's nothing in the show that's XXX-rated. Oh yes, there is the suggestion that we might go there, but we never actually complete the journey.
His voice begins to purr: It's all in your mind.
If your imagination wants to take things further then we suggest, well, yes, you could find it very, very sexy. We suggest a path to you, but we don't necessarily go down it ourselves.
Ask him for an example, and he's got one ready.
There is a number we do with a sheep and a wolf. It seems so nice and cute at the beginning. But then the sheep and the wolf try to undress their puppeteers.
You know that fantasy about having sex on a sheepskin rug in front of a fireplace? Well, mon ami, wait 'til you see what we do with that one.
An absolutely satanic chuckle ripples from his throat, but then he resumes his proper pose.
We won't do anything truly vulgar, though. Our puppets are very refined.
Another distinguishing feature of the show is its wildly eclectic soundtrack, which Michaud takes great delight in discussing.
We have everything from Amber doing her disco version of `If You Could Read My Mind' to Angélique Kidjo singing `Summertime' in African dialect. It's all there.
But in the end, to Michaud, it all comes down to how the various larger-than-life personalities portrayed by the puppets connect with the audience.
When you go to see the show, he says, I believe that everyone will relate to at least one of the figures they meet on the stage. That is where the real connection happens.
But he doesn't want to make it sound too heavy.
Cabaret U-Mano is, after all, a surreal party. We invite you to a cabaret where you can have a glass of wine, look at the show and just turn yourself over to the pleasure of the moment.
You can forget your unpaid bills, the war in Iraq, the weather, everything.
It will be a good night. And when you leave the room, I promise, you will be dancing.
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