December 2002

.$6.99.

..good to have.

)
Not bad, not good. Still need to find Rygar, Tecmo Super Bowl, RBI, etc. Spent around $30 bucks.

Any interesting NES stories can go on the .)
In other news, I picked up the Upright Citizen's Brigade on DVD. All the episodes, good quality.

The guy I bought them from also has: Run, Ronnie Run and all the Family Guy episodes.

Insert foot here..

.

GAME SEVEN

..in the form of Charlie Ward.

(seen left, in one of his non-anti semetic moments)
I might sound beaten, but no, I'll come back stronger than ever in game seven. I'm not going to let any bullshit 2-3 zone beat me. Reggie Miller cannot shoot 1-14 from three-point land again!

Game seven will be played this weekend at a nuetral site yet to be determined. [Ed. note: if you'd like to host it or have a suggestion where it should be played, post on the ]
Adaptation was the funniest movie I've seen in a long long time.

It's no wonder Charlie Kaufman got his start writing for the classic Fox "sitcom" Get A Life. It makes a lot more sense after watching Adaptation why the main character, Chris Peterson (Chris Eliot), started to die each week. Or why one day he was visited by an alien named Spewey (special-people-entering-the-world-egg yolks.

).
The movie was more creative than about 4,321 Hollywood schlock fests combined. You wonder how one guy, Kaufman, can write such a completely insanely original flick, while it take four writers to penThe Nutty Professor 2:The Klumps.

I'd go off about the commercials and previews again but see my post yesterday. I did find myself pining for the days when audiences brought fruits and vegetables to hurl at the screen. There was a preview for Nicholas Nickleby.

I actually booed it. An all-English cast, costumes, Nathan Lane, Alan Cummings..

..I'm almost speechless.

You'd have to be a writer for the New Yorker and drink wine before dinner to enjoy this steamingly pile of rotting kidney pie.
Oh one more thing, before the show, their was Barbarino himself, John Ravolta, pitching some children's charity to the audience. I figured it was Scientology recruitment video.

Watching that, I hope John sends a charitable contribution to Quentin Tarantino every week. He'd have NO career without Pulp Fiction..

..Looks Who's Talking Now anyone?

Hopefully I'll have a report from the Nets vs. Celtics game later in the week.
Adios.

Ok. out. Merry Christmas.

Can I sell you a bridge

Anyway, I don't want to turn this into Simpsons bashing 101, there's enough of that on the web already.
One of the few new ones that made a good point was when Homer broke his jaw. Remember he broke it because he stormed out of a movie theather, irate, because of the endless string of commercials before the movie.

"START THE MOVIE...

"
Well, as many people can relate to Homer, I felt his pain the other night when I went to go see "Gangs of New York" with Nick and Suppe.
I actually feared we'd miss some of the flick because I went to the wrong theather (Trumbull) and had like 25 minutes to get to Fairfield, for the 6:40 showing. With some good driving, we made it there in time.

...

in time for 10 minutes of commercials.
Think about that for a second, going to the movies and getting bombared with 10 minutes of commercials. Obviously most people don't care, and as scary as it might seem, enjoy the commercials.

As a person, not a "consumer" I think this is total bullshit. I want to see a movie and pay money to do so. I'm not paying to see that borderline brainless Pepsi Blue commercial where the Monks start jamming with Linkin Park Jr.

What really got me angry was the beyond stupid commercial for movietickets.com or something like that. It was three dim-witted guys sitting on a bed figuring out how to use the site.

I assume they were supposed to be college students. How do I know this? The two pizza boxes hanging on the wall was a dead giveaway, every college dorm room/apartment I've seen has pizza boxes hanging on the wall.

But Mike, why does this upset you?
Becuase some old-shriv or marketing asshole thinks thats what appeals to me. That is what a college student should be or be perceived as.

I'll never buy movie tickets online again. But I must admit, this commercials wasn't as dumb as the Styker family using Defcon-5 style tactics to get tickets to see Scooby-Doo.
At least I wasn't the only person groaning.

A kid probably around my age sitting behind me starting grumbling too. I turned behind and told him right on. Too bad the middle-aged fuck in front of me with his wife turned around to give me a dirty look.

I guess he was enjoying the pre-movie "entertainment."
That's right, entertainment. We also have delightful movie trailers.

..that ran on for another ten minutes.

These are at least encouraging, because if sure-to-be-crap like "The Life of David Glass" can get made, maybe there's hope for my Hollywood dreams.
I sat there watching these trailers and laughed at how utterly predictable and mindless these movie are. Here's what was on the table:
Final Destination 2 -- Really, was there a clamoring for another one?

Basically it looked like, as Suppe said, a rip-off of parts of Donnie Darko, but with the Candyman guy in it.
The Life of David Glass -- These are the movies that make me hate life. So insincere, but those souless Hollywood producers, try to market it as a heartwrencher.

Here's the plot, Kevin Spacey is an ant-death penalty advocate, convicted of murder, now sitting on death row. Kate Winslett is the journalist who has to prove his innocence. Whoa.

..stop the presses.

It either ends two ways, Spacey walks or Spacey really did kill the person "in a surprise ending you'll remember as you walk out the theather." If you go see a movie like this, please donate your brain to a retard, maybe they can put it to better use.
Dark Blue -- Kurt Russell is a corrupt LA cop in this obvious Training Day knockoff.

Ving Rhames is the good cop out to bring him down. Is there even a point to watching this? Russell (the white guy) will definitely go down in the end.

I mean honestly.
But then..

.we get these..

.
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and Kill Bill -- Two flicks that keep me going back to the movies. Confessions looks good, not great BUT Kill Bill Wow.

Suppe and I were basically drooling in our seats. Tarantino doing a Hong-Kong stlye action flick starring Uma Thurman as a kung-fu expert. Amazing.

Even the song in the background is good. The trailer didn't reveal the plot or tell me WHY I need to see it, with stupid voiceovers, rather the images left me counting the days until it opens.
Oh from, there, we needed a National Amusements little animated montage telling us to have a "Happy Holidays", well thanks to that, I will now.

(Nick mentioned, why make that little thing, when the track telling us in case of emergency to walk to the nearest exit has more cigerette burns in it than Jim Leland's vinyl Pirates jacket circa 1991.**I now remember my first joke here was going to be, the print probably was used at Robert Evans Woodmont Estate.)

As for Gangs of New York, it was good, not great.

The end was flat out terrible. Ruined the movie for me, as well as the Fairfield theather, that has probably the most uncomfortable seats in the Western Hemisphere. Jeez, La Plaza de Mexico is probably better on the lumbar region.

Bottom line, two and a half hours in lightly padded, non reclining seats is no fun for anyone.
I did throughoully enjoy Daniel-Day Lewis's portrayal of Bill the Butcher. It was amazing to see My Left Foot absolutely slaughtering guys with blunt objects.

I actually found myself sympathezing with him, instead of Leo Dicaprio. The thing that really hurt Gangs was that the opening sequence was the best part. All down hill from there.

It should have just begun and ended with the opening battle, or extend that to two hours and forget all the mixed messages and 9/11 symbolism.
I could have sworn though, that midway through the movie at a whorehouse, Christina Aguilera was making out with some dude. I told Suppe and Nick and neither really laughed.

I thought it was funny. Look for her, if you see the flick.
Well.

..I'll leave you with a good quote from dead comedian Bill Hicks.

Again, someone else puts it a lot better than me. By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. Thank you, thank you.

Just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day they'll take root.

I don't know. You try. You do what you can.

Kill yourselves. Seriously though, if you are, do. No really, there's no rationalisation for what you do, and you are Satan's little helpers, OK?

Kill yourselves, seriously. You're the ruiner of all things good. Seriously, no, this is not a joke.

"There's gonna be a joke coming...

" There's no fucking joke coming, you are Satan's spawn, filling the world with bile and garbage, you are fucked and you are fucking us, kill yourselves, it's the only way to save your fucking soul. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill
yourself now. Now, back to the show.