Just like you, they will be glued to their televisions Sunday morning when Seattle battles the Bears in Chicago for a berth in the NFC title game.
But unlike you, they ---- or should I say "we" ---- will be rooting for the enemy.
They teach at your elementary schools and your community college, mentor your at-risk children, arrange your tennis lessons ---- even write on that newsprint you use to kindle bonfires.
Many of them are far-flung remnants of a Windy City diaspora who traded skyscraper shadows for the occasional sprinkling of volcanic ash in their backyards. Westward drifters who rooted their lives thousands of miles from their birthplaces, their hearts still keeping time with the bluesy downbeat of Midwest sports rhythms.
They hail from the town that gave you Walt Disney, Ernest Hemingway, Miles Davis, Richard Pryor, Robin Williams, Bill Murray, Shel Silverstein, Racquel Welch, Kanye West and Wild Bill Hickock.
They are a pessimistic lot, more likely this week to take your abuse than put money on the Bears.
A local coach who shall remain nameless called in a score Monday night to our sports department. At the end of our conversation, he changed the topic.
"I want you to know that the Bears (stink)," he said, "and they are going to lose."
His tone wasn't cruel. But he didn't use the word "stink," either.
Earlier that evening at the R.A. Long-Woodland boys basketball game, a friend handed me a Bears hat.
"Here," he said. "You can wear this after they lose."
I don't expect it to get any friendlier.
Neither does Deb Bemm, who was born in the Chicago suburb of Dundee. Her earliest Bears memories are of Gale Sayers and Dick Butkus.
She met her husband, Rich Bemm, director for Longview Parks and Rec, when they were employees of the Dundee Township Parks Department.
He described their early courtship as a series of "indoor tailgate parties."
"She was a fanatic prior to us meeting," Rich said. "I was always a Bears fan, but not the way Deb was.
It meant that a lot of our scheduling was around what game happened to be being played. That was our dating."
Deb remembers hauling Rich, a native of suburban Glenview, to Soldier Field for a game in 12-degree weather.
"So cold," she said, "that people's beers were freezing right in the can."
In 1985, the Bears went 18-1 and beat New England in Super Bowl XX. Chicago's only loss that season was in a Monday Night game at Miami.
The Bemms remember.
"I went into labor the night they lost to Miami," said Deb. "My mother timed contractions while we lost the game.
"
Ashley Bemm was 6 weeks old when the Bears crushed the Patriots in New Orleans.
A substitute teacher at Butler Acres Elementary in Kelso, Deb rocks Bears gear on a routine basis.
"People look at me and say, 'You've got to be kidding,'" she said.
"My birthday is Saturday. I'm hoping for the gift of an offensive line and contact lenses for Rex Grossman so he can find his receivers. Even though deep, dark pessimism is every Chicago fan's middle name, I'm feeling cautiously optimistic.
I don't know about the Super Bowl, but I'd sure like to at least get past Sunday."
Lower Columbia College instructor Jerry Zimmerman (full disclosure: his other two sons are more successful, but not as good looking), whose profound hatred of television is contradicted by his annual renewal of a subscription to DirectTV's NFL Sunday Ticket, is enveloped in a militant Bears pessimism that makes Debbie Downer look like Jiminy Cricket.
"The analogy is this," said Zimmerman, who grew up on the Near North Side.
"There were certain groups called cargo tribes that would build primitive airplanes and place them at the top of a hill, then wait for the bird of paradise to come and grant them immortality. But the bird of paradise never comes. .
.. That's being a Bears fan.
"
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, Zimmerman said that very few friends and colleagues are aware of his Bears loyalty.
"Only those that are in therapy with me," he said.
Now that a matchup with the Seahawks has materialized, little has changed.
"I have more death threats than usual," said Zimmerman, off the record. "People on campus don't recognize me because I wear a fake nose."
Not all local Bears diehards are Chi-Town natives.
Take Matt Harrison, 32, who works at the Cowlitz County Juvenile Department. When he was 8 years old, Harrison was transfixed by the great Bears team of the early '80s, with players like Jim McMahon, William "The Refrigerator" Perry and, of course, Sweetness.
"It was easy to fall in love with Walter Payton," Harrison said.
"Those Bears teams are what drew me to the game."
Harrison and his son, Drew, have matching Brian Urlacher jerseys. Drew has a mini team helmet; Matt a Bears hard hat.
There has been plenty of "playful ribbing" from his co-workers over the years, Harrison said, and it has heated up this week.
"You know how it gets around here when (the Seahawks) are a little better than usual," he said. "People hop on" the bandwagon.
Harrison plans on watching the game at home with a few friends. His brother-in-law, a "huge Seahawks fan," is invited.
"It will get nice and loud," said Harrison.
According to Wikipedia, research crutch to lazy, on-deadline journalists, "Bear Down, Chicago Bears" was written by Jerry Downs, a pseudonym for Al Hoffman. He also wrote the lyrics to "If I Knew You Were Coming, I'd Have Baked a Cake."
He may or may not have penned the lesser-known, "If I Knew You Were Coming, I'd Be Wearing Pants.
"
The lyrics:
Bear down, Chicago Bears! Make every play clear the way to victory!
Bear down, Chicago Bears!
Put up a fight with a might so fearlessly!
We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T-formation.
Bear down, Chicago Bears, and let them know why you're wearing the crown,
You're the pride and joy of Illinois --- Chicago Bears, bear down!
According to Ryan Alexander, R.A Long Class of 1993 and head pastor at Westminster Lutheran Church in Los Angeles, the song cannot technically be used as a prayer, although I'd wager this judgment was influenced more by Alexander's Seahawks bias than by theological expertise.
I won't bet on the Bears.
But I'd risk a slice of Chicago's gnarliest deep-dish that come Sunday morning, in some pew in some church somewhere in Longview or Kelso, those words will be whispered.
Ben Zimmerman's Sideline Rep column appears Thursdays in The Daily News. He can be reached at or 577-2528.
If you don't subscribe to our print edition, you're missing a lot. Sign up now and get a at no cost or obligation to you. ( ) Longview Rez wrote on January 11, 2007 9:20 AM: GO BEARS!
!! Seahawks are going to have their feathers plucked.
Last weeks win was extremely lucky. If it hadn't been for Romo's screw up with the hold the Seahawks would be watching the cowboys this weekend..
...
PSpell wrote on January 11, 2007 10:10 AM: One thing REX GROSSMAN is your QB HAHAHA!!!
! We actually get to face a QB worse than the one we did in the first round, that's awesome!!
bears fan wrote on January 11, 2007 11:35 AM: he thrashed you before and can do it again.
Shell wrote on January 11, 2007 1:45 PM: I'm hoping Rex makes some plays for the hawks and gives us an early lead so the chicago fans can turn on him and the snowball effect will begin.
Gail wrote on January 11, 2007 4:29 PM: You started my day with many belly laughs.
Keep up the great and witty writing.
Your Nothing But A Pluke!
Tip: always use a nickname!
That way, nobody can impersonate you.
News RSS