Reception Archives

I was amused to read a story about a couple who chose to say \"I Boo\" at their Halloween Wedding in Moundsville, West Virginia at the weekend. According to Alvin and Carol Stillwell exchanged their vows in full Halloween costumes and their friends and family followed the Halloween theme with their wedding attire too - there were plenty of ghosts, witches and goblins cheering the couple on!
A lot of couples, like the Stillwell\'s, choose to get married on Halloween because it is their favorite holiday.

It is certainly one way of ensuring your wedding is remembered for years to come as it is a very unique and wacky theme.
For those of you with a fun-loving nature and a penchant for all things Halloween why not consider it as your wedding theme? Think of the abundance of Halloween decorations there are available for you to use for your wedding if you chose this theme.

You could host the wedding reception in a spooky mansion or castle and decorate it with pumpkin carvings, jack-o-lanterns, candelabras, plastic spiders, skulls, bats and eerie lighting. A bubbling cauldron (using a dry ice machine) would be sure to add a spooky atmosphere to the wedding reception and you could tie in the catering to match your Halloween theme (click to read one bride\'s catering choices for her wedding including a Jell-O brain mould!).

You could carry the Halloween theme all the way through your wedding planning from the wedding invitations down to the cake and favors - what fun! A black wedding dress is a popular choice for Halloween brides and their wedding party and you could choose dramatic blood red roses for your bouquet. By using a Halloween theme for your wedding you would also giving your guests an opportunity to let their hair down and dress up in costumes rather than their Sunday best!

Take a look at for more Halloween decorating ideas.

com/images/design/pumpkin.jpg\" width=\"100\" height=\"111\" style=\"float: left; padding: 6px;\" border=\"0\" />Do bear in mind that Halloween weddings need not be tacky. If you need reassurance read story of a couple who exchanged vows dressed in black at a gothic church in Manhattan and then celebrated their reception in a big, spooky dungeon.

Just think, you will never find a better excuse to host a Halloween party every year than it being your wedding anniversary! Use the comments section below to share your opinion - I would love to hear from you!
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It\'s the first time we\'re getting married (as for many people), and inevitably, there are things we had not considered. I really appreciated many of the planning tips for this reason, also because they were very practical and down-to-earth. Great job, and many thanks again.

It must be great to know you are making a positive difference to the marrying couples that receive these. Best Wishes\" - Marcela

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An outdoor wedding reception can be magical, whether it\'s on a breezy stretch of beach or under the stars in your back yard.

It\'s essential though to have wedding tents set up properly for your guests\' comfort and to shield against the elements in case of inclement weather.
Please bear these 5 key points in mind if you are considering using a wedding tent.
1.

Size Matters
If you want a wedding tent to function properly for your event, make sure you know what size you really need. There are more than a few things to take into consideration when choosing the size of the tent:
? How many people will be attending?

? Will this be a buffet or a sit-down dinner?
?

Will you need room for a dance floor and a band or DJ?
? How many tables will there be and what is there shape and size?

2. What is taking place in the tent?
Will the entire wedding take place under tents?

If so, you will need room for not only the guests, but an alter area, a runner, and plenty of space for the bridal party as well as a separate area later for the dining and/or dancing. Don\'t make the mistake of thinking things can just be \"rearranged\" - it\'s too confusing and is a recipe for disaster.
3.

What kind of tent?
Yes, there are different kinds of tents for weddings! The most traditional is the pole tent, which, by definition, is supported by individual poles beneath the fabric to give the tent its shape.

Tension on ropes holds the roof in place. More recently, frame tents made of fabric over an aluminium or steel framework have become popular. These are more rigid and allow the tent to stand free without supports.

4. What your tent needs:
Now that you know a little bit about tents, you should delve a little bit deeper into the features. Talk to some tent rental companies in your area and ask about the different quality of tents available.

A few things you should ask about include:
? The specification of the high-quality canvas material that should have been treated with a waterproofing material to resist rain.
?

Wind resistance - you will want a tent with high wind resistance in the event of an unexpected squall.
? What are the support capabilities for running electrical to and through the tent for the lighting, DJ, bandstand, etc?

Will the rental company provide electrical outlets, extension cords and other needs?
? Are there tents available with roll-up sides to allow the breeze through for ventilation?

What about roll-up windows?
? Does the rental company include set-up and take-down in their price?

5. Decorating makes all the difference:
Once you\'ve had a tent or series of tents set up for your wedding, don\'t leave them as \"unfinished canvas.\" There are so many things you can do to add to the magic when you are working with tents!

Simply wrapping the poles loosely in tulle, gauze or mesh netting in either white or a colour to match the wedding party will immediately soften the edges of the tent corners and add a hazy, dreamy effect to the \"room.\"
Under the roof supports, string zigzag swags of fairy lights for a magical effect. For an even dreamier effect, twist the lights with netting or gauze to soften the effect.

After dark these will look beautiful as they softly reflect light back down onto the party-goers. Another option is to twine artificial ivy or silk flowers around ropes and poles to create a garden bower feel. Or try suspending dozens of Chinese paper lanterns from the ceilings for a festive effect that will add a warm, colourful glow that you can repeat with Chinese paper fans and fortune cookies at each place setting.

With a little imagination, your guests will forget they are in a tent and believe they have stepped into a fairytale!
I received this question regarding ways in which a wedding buffet can be made stress-free when it involves a large number of guests and how to ensure that they receive their food within a reasonable amount of time.

\"I\'m getting mixed answers from people when I ask them this so I thought maybe you could help me out.

I\'m marrying a Portuguese guy with a huge family. Our wedding will have over 300 people and a buffet dinner. Normally, a buffet serving that many people would have 4 different line ups so that people could get their food quickly.

The venue I have chosen can only work with 2 line ups. With that many people, I\'m worried that people will start getting agitated while waiting for their table to be called to go get food. I thought that it would be great if we could provide some entertainment.

I instantly thought of having a couple of salsa dancers come in and do some dancing for maybe 30 mins until we were ready for the speaches to start. What do you think? Do you think that is tacky or cheesy.

. or do you think it would be a cool idea? Or maybe you have some other ideas on how I could take the edge off for the people who have to wait so long?

\"

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.
I totally understand your concern that your guests will become restless if they have to wait too long for their food during your wedding reception. 300 guests is a lot of mouths which need to be fed and it is unfortunate that your wedding reception venue cannot allow a larger number of line-ups.

By my estimations if there are 300 guests and only 2 lines then it will take well over an hour to get food to everyone. If there are families with children then this length of time could be a lot longer.
I definitely think that you should provide some form of entertainment whilst guests wait for their turn at the buffet table.

The salsa dancers sound like a fun and unique idea so long as it fits in with the theme of your wedding and the cost of this is within your budget. This is not tacky at all so don\'t worry about that. I think that your guests will appreciate the effort that you have gone to in arranging entertainment whilst they wait to be fed, rather than them having to make polite chit-chat and ignore their rumbling stomachs!

I think that a 30-45 minute salsa display is definitely long enough – any longer and you run the risk of your guests becoming bored rather than entertained.
? Have some background music playing throughout the whole meal until the speeches commence ( e.

g. a soloist or duet of harpists). You could even ask your venue to play some music through a CD player or with speakers to create a relaxing ambience during the meal.

? How about some wandering entertainers who could occupy the tables of guests who have yet to be called up to the buffet table ( e.g.

caricaturists, hypnotists, mind readers or magicians).
? On each table have a pre-printed quiz about the couple (prizes could be given after the speeches for the best answers) or simply a trivia quiz to keep their minds occupied.

Take a look at my article for some great ideas on how to keep your guests entertained at their tables whilst they wait to be fed.
? They should provide enough serving staff at the buffet tables so that guests can be served or assisted as quickly as possible.

? Ask your caterer to have food items clearly marked. This will help to avoid confusion amongst your guests as to what dishes are and will avoid hold-ups on the buffet table if guests have to keep stopping to ask catering staff questions about the food on offer.

Most venues will offer to put out cards with each dishes\' name and (if necessary – e.g. spicy, vegetarian, contains nuts) a description of the ingredients.

This should help to speed the line up and allow your guests to be served more expeditiously.
? Ask them whether the buffet tables can be accessed from both sides as this would definitely cut down the waiting times for your guests to reach the food.

Another way to take the edge off of people\'s appetites whilst waiting to get called to the buffet table is to provide some nibbles on their table for them to tuck into during the interim period.
Edible centerpieces not only taste great and, in your case, would serve the purpose of allowing your guests to graze whilst they wait for their entrees, but they also serve as a fabulous table decoration. I am unsure of what your wedding decoration theme is but here are some examples of what you could have on your tables:
?

Decorated baskets of bread, muffins and/or other baked goods.
? Decorated baskets or crystal bowls filled with fruit.

? Use 3 tier glass stands in the center of each table and fill them with bite-sized appetizers and treats.
?

A cheese board with different cheeses, crackers and garnish it with fresh fruit, olives or peppers.
? For a unique twist you could add Portuguese edibles to introduce your non-Portuguese guests to a sample of your husband\'s culture!

jpg\" width=\"164\" height=\"158\" style=\"float: left; padding: 6px;\" border=\"0\" />If you are considering giving your guests favors then how about an edible favor which could double up as an entrée or snack for them to enjoy during their wait for the buffet table. These favors could also serve as place cards if you personalize each of them with a tag bearing each guest\'s name and place one at each place setting.
?

Mini personalized baskets with some pre-wrapped cheeses and assorted crackers, like the cute one pictured here from . You could select 2 or 3 different types of cheese but cheddar always goes down well. These baskets can be assembled and put on the tables an hour or 2 in advance of the wedding reception as the cheese is best served at room temperature.

? Mini bagels and personalized tiny tubs of cream cheese.
?

A decorated muffin, cookie or sweet treat to stave away your guest\'s hunger pangs!
Speak to your venue if you are interested in these ideas and if they are unable to provide the edible centerpieces ask a family member or friend if they would be willing to either (a) put the baskets/platters together for you/with your help and arrange them on your wedding day or (b) find a local delicatessen who would be able to assist you with this.
I hope that these ideas help.

Good luck with your big day!
P.S.

Here are links to other articles I have written on wedding buffets:
You may remember that back in July I wrote a comprehensive listing of all the best wedding insurance companies in the UK. Namely Confetti.co.

uk, Debenhams, Ecclesiastical, Equine and Livestock Insurance Company Ltd, Event Insurance, Marks and Spencer, MRL Insurance Direct, and Wedding Plan Insurance. If you missed it, along with a link to the . I know I\'m biased but I do highly recommend it because instead of having to visit each insurer\'s website you now only have to visit one page.

There are in depth descriptions of all the different types of covers offered and links to the policy documents, how to order online, company details, ownership facts, and links to the underwriters with notes on their regulations. I have tried to make it as easy as possible for every bride and groom in the UK to compare each policy against the next.

\"Both Ecclesiastical Insurance Office plc and The Equine and Livestock Insurance Co Limited are both wholly independent and are underwritten by themselves.

Marks and Spencer Insurance are underwritten by Ecclesiastical Insurance Office plc. \"

I can now report that the wedding planning website has chosen Ecclesiastical Insurance to provide through its website or by calling 0800 336622.
Wedding insurance joins the range of wedding planning services and advice already offered by Hitched.

co.uk, which include speech-writing, venue-shopping and gift-buying. I love visiting the discussion forums and providing help whenever I can - my profile name online is \"elleatwedaholicdotcom\".

Ecclesiastical will also offer the opportunity to at the same time.
Darren Noel, Business Development Director at Hitched, said:

\"The Hitched site offers couples everything they need to organise their perfect day. And with so much time, effort and money spent organising a wedding, it makes sense to protect it with insurance.

\"

Ian Henderson, Customer Services Manager at Ecclesiastical said:

\"Wedding insurance gives peace of mind during all the preparations leading up to the day itself. Couples shouldn\'t assume their home insurance covers them – wedding insurance covers damaged dresses, lost rings and suppliers going bust for example. And with so much riding on the day, it\'s not worth taking the risk of not insuring.

\"

Ecclesiastical\'s wedding insurance policy provides cover for cancellation or curtailment, re-arrangement, attire, presents, rings, cakes and flowers, photographs and video, failure of suppliers, transport, wedding documents, public liability and marquees (Marquee cover provided for an additional premium, not available with Tier 1 cover). The policy also includes legal expenses cover and a free counselling helpline provided by DAS Legal Expenses Insurance Company Limited (not available with Tier 1).
A seating plan is an essential piece of stationery for your wedding reception.

By having a seating plan on display for wedding guests to refer to you avoid any unnecessary confusion about where they are expected to sit. Seating plans also prevent the usual chaos which can prevail if you have an open seating arrangement at your wedding reception, which traditionally begins with a mass free for all as guests seat themselves and ends with a few lonely people ambling around the reception room looking for a spare seat or a friendly face!
You can tell I am a real advocate of seating plans at weddings, so I was fascinated to come across the stand at the last weekend.

They are a table planner design company who produce stylish and distinctive table plans. I was impressed with the quality of their beautifully framed and mounted table plans and by the diverse and quirky design assortment they offer. I hardly had a chance to speak to Creative Director Mike Daniels at the show as he was surrounded by a throng of prospective bride and grooms asking questions about his funky table planners, which has to be a sign of their popularity!

“Ideal for events, functions and weddings. Thetableplanner.com offers you a fresh and exciting new idea to compliment your special occasion.

We have a team of designers who will work with you to create a unique table plan for you and your guests. The table plan will then become a picture that records your cherished day as a memento of you with your family and friends.”

Take a look for yourself at the website to see the unique and distinctive array of table plans you could choose from, the themes range from to .

The table plan designs are all created by the design team who are more than happy to custom design your table plan depending on your wedding theme, hobbies or interests. How about personalising your table plan by basing it on your favourite sport ( ), your chosen honeymoon destination ( ) or one of your interests ( )! I particularly liked the James Bond themed table plan which is not shown on the website but was on display at the Wedding Show - this is surely a design which prove to be popular with every groom for their own 007 wedding reception!

I think that these table plans would be particularly great if you are hosting a themed wedding - you could use the design of the table plan to convey your wedding theme. I wish I had known about them when I planned my wedding as it was loosely based on a golf theme but unfortunately we did not think of carrying this through to the seating plan and table names.
Once you have chosen a table plan design all you have to do is provide the design team with the table layouts and wedding guests’ names typed in word or excel format and they create the table planner for you.

Prices for the table plans start at £395. Whilst this might seem like quite a princely sum for a table plan, do bear in mind that these table plans look like pieces of artwork and would definitely look fantastic adorning a wall in your house after your wedding as a lasting keepsake of your special day. Thetableplanner.

com are also able to provide table number or name cards for each table utilising the same design theme, as well as holders for these and place cards. If your reception venue is unable to provide you with an easel or suitable wall fixture to display the table planner on then Thetableplanner.com are able to provide this too.

These table plans could bring the fun and colourful element to your wedding reception which will have your guests talking about it for years to come! This is a very original concept and I imagine it will be popular with couples who want their weddings to be unique. You will not find these anywhere else and I imagine even the most adept wedding DIY expert would not want to attempt one of these masterpieces themselves.

Take a look and see for yourself. Happy planning!
As all couples planning a wedding know, one of the most important aspects of planning your wedding reception catering is to ensure that all guests are fed and watered sufficient amounts.

Nobody likes to think that their guests are going to slope off to McDonalds mid-way through the evening to vanquish their hunger pangs after a paltry wedding breakfast or buffet!
According to the Vermont news channel that is exactly what happened with a guest who had attended a wedding in Rangeley, Maine. Abigail Edmund, a 23 year old from New Hampshire, was caught by a member of staff at the Rangeley Inn after she had broken into the inn\'s kitchen.

\"An employee spotted her at about 1:15 Sunday morning with luncheon meats and brownies and heating up some pasta.\"

Police arrested the hungry wedding guest and charged her with burglary, theft and criminal mischief.
I bet the bride and groom will be embarrassed when they realize they underfed this guest!

I have heard a lot of brides describe the run-up to their wedding day as feeling similar to a roller coaster ride with all the ups and downs that the wedding planning can bring, but until now I had never thought that couples would choose an actual roller coaster as the place to celebrate their \"I do\'s\"!
According to Amanda Morris and Scott Lee, from Bramley in Leeds, took their wedding vows at the on Saturday in the presence of their friends and family. The newlyweds were then given access to the adjoining Alton Towers theme park in Staffordshire to enjoy the roller coasters and other rides with their 60 guests.

Due to a booking glitch Alton Towers kindly gave the wedding party free access to the theme park on the wedding day and an extra night free in the park hotel. This meant that Amanda and Scott were also able to spend the first day of their honeymoon enjoying Alton Towers\' scariest white knuckle rides.
What a great start to married life and what a unique idea for a wedding reception venue that is sure to be remembered by the guests as well as the newlyweds for years to come!

Tears, tantrums, and trauma. No, I’m not talking about a kid’s birthday party, or the latest boy band breakup. Instead, I’m talking about the wedding guest list – a seemingly simple enough concept that for some reason cannot be executed without violent outbursts, emotional blackmail, or objects being flung around the room.

But what is it about compiling a guest list that is so difficult?
There are two common problems – amongst others – which are encountered when compiling the dreaded guest list. The first?

You know what they say about too many cooks, right? Well traditionally, the invitations are divided between three groups –the bride and groom, and the bride and grooms respective families (although if your parents are divorced and have since remarried, depending on how you wish to do things, you could be looking at a possible five way split. Yikes!

) This inevitably causes problems, as everyone will have conflicting ideas on who should and shouldn’t be invited. Your mother will insist on inviting aunties and uncles you didn’t even know you had, while your father-in-law-to-be will want to invite all the members of his local darts team. And to top it all off, your fiancé wants to invite his hideous drinking pals.

You’ll be left wondering if there will be any room for your friends.
And then there’s the other challenge – deciding exactly who are the right people to invite. You may be feeling on top of the world and wish to invite everyone you’ve ever known since you were five, regardless of whether you actually keep in touch with them or not.

You may even feel that you have to invite everyone you know for fear of offending them if you don’t. But unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) that isn’t always possible. Your budget and the venue’s seating capacity will dictate how many people you can invite.

It’s pointless inviting 450 guests, when it means you can only afford to serve them crisps and lemonade, and they’ve got to be packed into the reception like sardines. For this reason, you’ll have to streamline your guest list, and select people who mean the most to you.
Guest lists, along, with organizing seating plans, and choosing your wedding attendants can really put the stress into wedding planning.

However it’s important not to let the stress get on top of you, or you may find yourself without a wedding to plan! For those of you who aren’t too sure how to get started on the guest list, here are some points to think about. And while I can’t promise it’ll be all peace and harmony at Walton’s Mountain, I hope it’ll make things a little easier.

Good luck!
1. Allow yourselves plenty of time when compiling your list.

There’s nothing worse than having to rush. It means you don’t get things done properly, and you feel under pressure.
2.

Before your families get involved, have a brainstorming session with your fiancé. Think about the kind of wedding you really want. Do you want a big elaborate bash, or a small intimate affair?

Bear in mind that at this stage nothing is set in stone, but at least it will give the chance to discuss how you see your wedding – and try to compromise if necessary.
3. Which comes first – the venue or the guest list?

It’s a new take on an age-old question, and some people are confused about which they should sort out first. You have two possible options: If you’ve got your heart set on a particular venue, find out the seating capacity and work your guest list around that. Otherwise, decide how many guests you want to invite, and then find a venue which can accommodate all your guests.

There’s no right or wrong way. Naturally, everything will have been finalized before you order your wedding invitations, so don’t worry.
4.

You’ve got to start thinking about your budget, and what you can and can’t afford to have. Unless you’re lucky enough to be a Hollywood A lister, one of the Sultan of Brunei’s children, or your last name’s Trump, there’s a chance you won’t be able to afford a wedding with 500 guests and all the fancy trimmings. So if you want a rock star wedding, but you’re working with a luncheon meat budget, you’re going to have to make some cutbacks – somewhere!

If you are adamant that you have to have the designer gown, the eight course meal, and bottles of the finest Cristal, the obvious – and most sensible solution – would be to reduce the guest list. Don’t think that just because you are having a small wedding that it will be boring. Alternatively, don’t think that your 350 guests won’t be entertained just because you’re not having a huge fireworks display.

I once went to a wedding where the reception was held in a tiny flat, there were about forty guests, no chocolate fountain, no live band, no five tiered wedding cake and – shock horror! – no elaborate floral arrangements. But I can honestly, hand on heart, say that it was without a doubt, the best wedding I’ve ever been to.

There were a great mix of guests, and it was the genuinely happy people who made the event what it was. So think about what’s really important to you – what you absolutely have to have, and what you can do without.
5.

This is where the fun begins! Ask both families to draft their lists. This is not the finalized list, but it would be wise at this point to let your families know what kind of a wedding you would like.

If you want a small wedding, now is the time to say so, before they get too carried away.
6. Compare all lists with both families.

Check, double check and treble check that you’re happy with the lists and no one important has been left out.
You should compile a main guest list, which lists all the people you can’t get married without. This includes:
i.

Immediate family
ii. Close extended family
iii. Close friends
i.

The clergy and his/her spouse
ii. Parents of the ring bearer and flowergirls,
iii. Spouses or partners of anyone in the wedding party.

8. You will also need a secondary list of people you can invite as your main guests drop out. I know that sounds demeaning, but be realistic, you can’t invite everyone you’ve ever said hello to in your life.

And it’s not as though you have to tell them that they are on the B list! People to include on this list are those you know and like but don’t see all the time, or aren’t so close to. And remember you don’t have to invite all of them:
i.

Neighbours – I shouldn’t admit to this, but I barely know my neighbours, and I wouldn’t recognize them if I saw them in the street. However that hasn’t stopped two of them from inviting me to their weddings, meaning it was either a mistake, or they were stuck for guests! There’s no need to invite the whole street – just the ones you know well.

ii. Business associates/colleagues – You are not obligated to invite those you work with for that reason alone. Invite them if you regard them as friends, you are happy to socialize with them, and most importantly, they will leave work in the office where it belongs.

iii. Guests for singles – You don’t have to allow all your single guests to bring someone. Quite often, it is the ‘plus one’ on the invitation who can really bump up the cost of the wedding.

This option could be reserved for your guests who won’t know anyone else at the wedding (apart from the bride or groom that is)!
iv. Club/group/society members/ evening class students – You may have thirty plus people in a group.

Can you really afford to invite them all? Are you the best of friends with all of them? Invite the ones you’re closest too.

Don’t worry about offending people. If you are not that close, they’ll probably understand why they were not invited.
9.

And of course there’ll always be those you probably won’t want attending your wedding. These may include:
i. Ex partners – Brad Pitt decided not to invite former fiancée Gwyneth Paltrow to his wedding to Jennifer Aniston, while Bruce Willis happily witnessed the nuptials between ex wife Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.

Putting your exes on the guest list is a matter of personal choice, and it’s got to be a decision you’re both happy with. But remember if his ex is not welcome to your wedding, then you can’t sneak your childhood sweetheart’s name on the list!
ii.

Children – Don’t feel guilty if you want your wedding to be a child free zone. But if kids are not invited to your wedding, make sure that it applies to ALL children, and not just some of them. That includes family, and may mean no children in the wedding party.

iii. Anti social people – It’s a sad fact that there are some people who should not be allowed out in public. So if they get embarrassingly drunk, chain smoke while others are trying to eat, are in danger of starting an argument, or use the kind of language a drunken sailor would approve of, but not your great Aunty Doris, then don’t invite them.

iv. Estranged/Long lost relatives or friends – Once you’ve announced your engagement, you can be certain that friends, acquaintances and relatives you’ve lost touch with will resurface. You don’t have to invite anyone just because you are related or because you once knew them.

If you were wearing a christening robe the last time you had any contact with your godparents, I doubt it’s worth putting them on the guest list. But where relatives are concerned it is a good idea to consult your family first.
v.

People you don’t like – Admit it – we’ve all got a relative or acquaintance we wish we’d never met. If you really cannot stand them, and the sight of them knocking back your champagne is likely to make you turn green and start throwing furniture about, definitely DON’T INVITE THEM!
vi.

Those who didn’t invite you to their wedding – Enough said!
10. If the ceremony venue has limited seating, you might want to draw up a list of guest to invite for the evening reception, providing there’s room.

But remember, you cannot invite guests to the ceremony only!
With a bit of luck, this should make things a little easier for you. And in order to avoid conflict and stress, a little give and take is required (think of it as an excercise for what lies ahead!

) Think about who is paying for the wedding. If either or both sets of parents are paying/contributing to the bill, then it’s only fair that their wishes are taken into account, and some kind of comprise is reached. If you can afford to fit in a few extra guests, do so if it will make someone happy.

Just make sure no one oversteps the mark, and you don’t feel coerced into agreeing to anything you don’t want – you don’t want to be a pushover either. Get the balance right, and hopefully everyone will be happy.
Further to my blog yesterday on I just wanted to illustrate to you how much fun you can have when organizing your second wedding if you\'ve done the big church wedding in the Cinderella dress and want something a little different and unique.

According to a couple are planning to say \"I do\" at this weekend’s National Buffalo Wing Festival! The unnamed couple have traditionally attended the festival every year since it began 5 years ago and it is thought that their first date was at the festival! It is the second marriage for both of them so they wanted something a little different for their special day to surprise their family and friends.

jpg\" width=\"175\" height=\"108\" style=\"float: left; padding: 6px;\" border=\"0\" />The nuptials are due to take place amidst the chicken wing noshing this Labor Day weekend at 4 p.m. Saturday, while the chicken wing festival itself runs from noon to 9 p.

m. Saturday and noon to 7 p.m.

Sunday at . Running alongside the wedding will be chicken wing speed-eating contests, a Miss Buffalo Wing pageant and the first ever induction into the Chicken Wing Hall of Fame (it is thought that Buffalo resident Buffalo Wing Sauce will win this accolade!).

There will be live music courtesy of Buffalo\'s very own 6 piece band so the newlyweds will not have to worry about organising entertainment for their wedding guests.
Well, this couple have definately chosen a very unique venue for their encore wedding - lets just hope their wedding guests like chicken wings!
My sister announced at the weekend that she is getting remarried.

This will be her second marriage. My family and I are so excited for her that she has found love again and that she is brave enough to put her faith in the institution of marriage after an acrimonious divorce.
All the wedding talk at her engagement announcement party got me thinking about planning a wedding second time around.

It is a totally different scenario to organizing your first wedding - you are older (usually this is the case - I think within nine months of each other is quite unique), wiser and will have more experience of your expectations not just for your second wedding day but also your second marriage!
Whether it is due to divorce or death of a spouse increasing numbers of people are making a trip of the aisle for a second time. According to 4 out of every 10 weddings nowadays are second marriages for one or both partners.

According to the one-third of couples getting married in the USA have been married before and every year nearly one million American women marry for the second time. You are in good company if you are planning on saying “I do” for the second time - , , , , and more recently have all enjoyed a second trip down the aisle.
If you too are thinking about taking the plunge again then here are some top tips and advice for making your encore wedding even more unique and memorable than your first.

? Once you are engaged the first people you should tell are your children. You definitely need their approval of your future nuptials before you can start making any plans.

? You should inform your children of your engagement as soon as possible so that they have plenty of time to adjust to the idea. We are bombarded by the media, particularly by television shows such as , with images of perfectly blended stepfamilies.

Of course there will be tears and turbulence as your family unit changes size with your second wedding but becoming a proper united family is not an unattainable feat - it just needs time and perseverance!
? You should definitely let your children decide for themselves if they want to participate in your second wedding.

? If your first spouse died then you will need to be sensitive to your deceased spouse\'s families\' feelings. Out of respect for the family you should let them know in person (if you have children by your deceased spouse and remain in constant contact with the family) or by letter (if you have become distant from them and are not used to telephoning them or seeing them in person) that you are remarrying.

? Whether or not you invite your deceased spouse\'s family to your second wedding is a very delicate etiquette issue. If your children (their grandchildren) are participating in your wedding then consider whether they would enjoy attending so that they could see this.

Use your own judgment as to whether you think it would stir up too many sad memories for them (and you). Second weddings do present social and emotional issues such as this - it comes with the territory I\'m afraid!
?

If you are divorced without children then there is no need for you to mention your second marriage to your ex-spouse unless you are on good terms with them and keep in touch with each others news.
? If you are divorced with children then you must let your ex-spouse know about your upcoming nuptials.

If your children are old enough then you can ask if they would prefer to tell their parent about your second wedding or if they want you to break the happy news. You should try to let your ex-spouse know as soon as possible after you have told your children about your engagement, so that your children do not have to keep it a secret and will free to discuss your upcoming wedding openly.
?

If you are not on speaking terms with your ex then you could put your news in a letter to them and mention that you have explained it to your children and that your wish is for your children to be a part of your wedding day. Although as co-parent you don’t need permission for your own children to participate in your wedding ceremony, it would make things easier all round if your ex-spouse was consulted at an early stage so that any objections could be aired and discussed and you could guarantee their full co-operation with your upcoming wedding plans.
When it comes to organizing a second wedding many couples choose to spend less time planning the wedding event than they did first time round and more time enjoying the run up to their wedding day.

Second weddings are usually smaller and more intimate but there are no rules if you want a repeat of your first extravagant wedding. Some brides, (such as my sister) who had only a very small wedding first time round, enjoy the thought of an elaborate second wedding. My sister admits that this time round she knows exactly what she wants for her wedding day as she has attended innumerous weddings since her first wedding 12 years ago.

? You know the pitfalls and what could go wrong as you have probably experienced a few with your first wedding.
?

You have a better idea of what style and theme of wedding you want as you have more experience of weddings you have attended over the years.
? You are free to create any kind of wedding you and your partner want - be as creative as you want (so long as your budget allows it!

).
? You can invite who you want to your wedding this time round without the restrictions of having parents impose their choice of guests on you.

? Hopefully you are in a better financial position than you were when you first got married so you might be able to afford all of the luxury extras for your second wedding that were not within your first wedding budget.
According to , a wedding consultant with Everlasting Memories in California, says that she enjoys organizing second weddings.

“The brides know themselves better as women and they rarely break a sweat when making decisions. Grooms play a much bigger role in the planning, and every choice is geared to reflecting the couple’s unique personalities.”

?

You can host your wedding anywhere second time around, there is so much choice. I know many bride and grooms who have remarried for the second or third time in a church. Just because you are a divorcee does not automatically mean that you must remarry in a Registry Office or at other licensed premises and have a civil ceremony.

If it is important to you, your partner and your family to have a religious ceremony then enquire of your local church about their policy for second marriages - some churches are stricter than others. With second marriages becoming increasingly common most ministers will understand your situation and will help you to reach a solution if you have your heart set on a religious wedding ceremony.
?

Destination weddings have become increasingly popular for second marriages, particularly those with children as the ceremony can be incorporated into a fun family holiday!
? Bear in mind that it would be in bad taste to host your second wedding in the same location as your first wedding!

? It goes without saying that in order to remarry you will need to supply the registrar with either a decree absolute proving that you are legally divorced from your first spouse, or a death certificate if you are widowed. Make sure that your paperwork is in order well in advance of applying for your marriage license.

? In a second marriage where children are involved ensure that you seek appropriate legal advice with regard to financial and inheritance aspects of your union and guardianship issues.
?

Vows for a second wedding are another emotive issue which need delicate handling. Of course you promised to \"love, honor and respect for all eternity\" your first spouse so what do the words really mean if \"eternity\" turned out to be just a couple of years! The important thing with wedding vows is that you say them with confidence and believe them yourself at the time of saying them to the person you have chosen to marry.

? If you are looking for alternative ideas for wedding vows for your second wedding has some unique wordings which could help you.
?

The tradition of having a wedding cake is the same for a second wedding. However, according to Vibride.com throwing the bouquet, wearing a garter and throwing confetti are not proper etiquette for a second wedding.

I have seen all of these things done at second and third weddings so I think it is just a case of do whatever feels right for you on your wedding day.
? You probably already have an album full of photos from your first wedding that you rarely look at nowadays but don\'t let this put you off having a photographer at your second wedding.

Of course you will want a record of your second wedding, especially if it is the first wedding for one of you.
? When it comes to the question of walking up the aisle you might think it improper to ask your Father or whomever gave you away at your first wedding but there are no etiquette rules about this for second weddings.

You can walk up the aisle alone, on the arm of your Father, Mother, Brother or even child if you want.
? The decision of whether to have attendants at your second wedding is, again, entirely up to you.

There are no rules about this. Guests usually expect at least a couple of attendants at second weddings. Don\'t worry if you want to ask your friends or family to repeat the performance they gave as attendants at your first wedding.

It is not seen as unlucky to ask the same attendants who stood by you at your first wedding to stand by you at your second wedding. A friend of mine has been Best Man at both of his brother\'s weddings.
?

Bridal Showers are still appropriate for second weddings. You probably have new friends since you first married and they will want to help you celebrate your impending nuptials regardless of whether or not you have done it all before. You can choose to have a more moderate bridal shower if you prefer.

If you and/or your partner have children from your own relationship or from previous relationships then you will undoubtedly want them to participate in your wedding plans. The best way to make children feel involved in the whole process of organising a second wedding is to include them in the wedding planning. It is not just you who is getting remarried, so too are your children!

jpg\" width=\"90\" height=\"134\" style=\"float: left; padding: 6px;\" border=\"0\" />Whilst your choice of spouse has been your decision you should allow your children some say in your wedding planning. Discuss with them their thoughts on your second wedding and ask them how they would like to be involved. You should refer to it as \"our\" wedding day rather than solely yours and your partner\'s.

According to Jill Curtis, author of \"How to Get Married Again: A Guide to Second Weddings\" (available at and ) she says,

\"My research showed that children not included in at least part of the ceremony often find it more difficult to accept the stepparent. One dilemma may be for a child who thinks her \"other\" parent may well feel left out and not want the child to take part in a second wedding ceremony. Will it be seen as a betrayal?

Or acceptance of the new stepparent?\"

Make your children feel wanted and needed by giving them a role in your wedding day. Here are some ideas for ways to include them in your second wedding:
?

Try to include something symbolic within your wedding ceremony which will signify to all present that you, your partner and your children coming together as a unified family.
? Some couples present their children with rings during the wedding ceremony.

? It is becoming increasingly popular to include a family vow after the bride and groom\'s vows during the wedding ceremony where children join the bride and groom to recite some words and have their new blended family blessed.
?

Daughters can act as maids-of-honor or flower girls.
? Sons can stand as \"best men\", ushers or ring bearers.

? Ask your/your partner\'s children to walk you down the aisle and give you away.
?

As a family stand at the altar and light a unity candle together.
? Ask children to be in charge of the guestbook.

? If they are confident speakers they could make a special toast during the wedding reception.
?

Offer them the chance to give a reading during the wedding ceremony.
? Whatever role you or your children choose for your second wedding make sure that they are comfortable with it.

? Ask a family member to keep an eye on your children on your wedding day if you anticipate that you will be too distracted to keep a watchful eye on them.
?

Remember that your wedding day marks a new beginning for your children too and it can be confusing for them, whether they are 3 years old or 15 years old.
Jill Curtis says,

\"A wedding is a landmark in any family and those adults and children who have been burned by the fallout of an earlier divorce or death of a parent will be particularly sensitive to the meaning of the occasion. With some planning, a lot of discussion, and a little bit of luck, it will be a day memories are made of.

\"

? If you are divorced you might find that your children have always had a secret fantasy that you and your ex would get back together again. Your second wedding will put an end to this hope so treat your child sensitively.

? If your split from your ex-spouse was acrimonious your impending second wedding might stir up painful memories for your children. I know that my 10 year old nephew worries that he will see his Mum be hurt again (bless him!

). The best thing you can do as a parent about to embark on a second wedding is to reassure your child that this is a different situation, you are different, you are stronger and the person you are marrying is your soulmate who you want to share your life with.
To compare or not to compare?

? Try not to compare your second wedding to your first wedding. My sister has already begun to start sentences with “At my first wedding we had this/we did this…”.

This is a definite no-go area for anyone planning their encore wedding. Your fiancé, his family and also your own family and friends do not want to be reminded of your first wedding. This wedding which you are planning now is a unique occasion and should be treated as such, not judged against your first trip up the aisle.

? It is an undeniable fact that guests who were present at your first wedding will compare it with your second wedding. I hold my own hands up and admit I have done it myself when I have attended first and second weddings.

There is no way to prevent your guests from doing this so you should just come to terms with it before your wedding day.
? Don\'t go overboard trying to plan your second wedding to be a polar opposite of your first wedding.

At the end of the day so long as you and your partner are happy with your wedding plans and do everything you can to ensure your guests enjoyment then you can\'t do more than that. Inevitably there will be similarities between the two weddings - besides everything else they will both involve rings, vows and celebrations of some sort!
?

With your wedding speeches it is usual for the Best Man, Father of the Bride, Groom and even the Bride to make a reference to the lives of the bride and groom before they met and traditionally some reference to exes would be made. Tread very carefully here! It would be seen to be in poor taste if your first stab at marriage is referred to at your second wedding.

You don\'t want to make your guests, your new partner or your children feel uncomfortable on your wedding day.
With second weddings where the bride has been married before it is normal for the bride and groom to split the costs of the wedding between them. You should definitely not expect either set of parents to pay towards your second wedding.

If it is the bride’s first wedding but the groom’s second, then you will probably find that the bride’s parents will want to contribute towards the wedding costs. It is also quite common for one or both sets of parents to offer financial help towards the wedding costs. In this case you should weigh up whether you want to accept their kind offer as financial input being given by parents can sometimes equate to organizational input being expected with your wedding.

One of the main advantages of paying for your own wedding of course is that you are free to make your own decisions when planning the wedding without having input from your parents.
If you are paying for the wedding yourselves then you should create an affordable wedding budget and stick to it. As with any wedding it is possible to have your dream wedding at an affordable cost, but I think this is the case more so with second weddings as you do not need to pull out all of the stops.

Second weddings for brides are more about starting a new life with your new husband than about having the expensive dress, breathtaking table ceterpieces, stylish wedding favors and other wedding paraphernalia. That being said, if you can afford it then why not go ahead and organize the extravagant wedding you have always dreamt of!
?

As mentioned, it is completely up to you and your partner whether you choose to have a small wedding attended only by immediate family and close friends or a larger wedding inviting everyone who is important to you both.
? Inviting an ex-spouse to your second wedding is thought to be bad form.

It depends on your personal circumstances whether or not you want to invite your ex to your wedding. Demi Moore invited Bruce Willis to her nuptials with Ashton Kutcher and at her wedding earlier this month Pamela Anderson asked new husband Kid Rock’s ex Tamara Mellon to be her bridesmaid! If your ex-spouse is a co-parent of your children then your children might feel more at ease at the wedding if they too are invited.

You should do what you and your fiancé feel comfortable with - it is your wedding day!
Check out for more ideas and inspiration for wording invitations for your second wedding.
The most important thing for any bride on her wedding day whether it is her first, second or even eighth wedding (à la ) is that she feels comfortable, confident, relaxed and, most importantly, beautiful.

No matter how many times someone has been married they always want to feel and look like a princess on their special day!
As an encore bride you should not feel restricted about your choice of wedding attire. Old traditions used to point second time brides away from full length gowns, veils and the wearing of ivory or white for their subsequent nuptials but this is no longer the case.

You can choose any color or style you wish so long as it suits your age and flatters your figure. If you are a mature encore bride then you are unlikely to want to wear a Cinderella ball gown; you might prefer to choose a simple yet elegant sheath dress, suit or a less formal wedding gown and accessorize with a hat, decorative headpiece or tiara rather than a full veil. According to of ,

“Most brides getting remarried have already had their \"Princess in a white dress\" moment the first time around, and so opt for a more mature look such as a brocade suit or a simple cocktail dress.

However, if you eloped the first time, or simply want to have that Princess moment again, there\'s no reason why you can\'t. In fact, as divorce and remarriage becomes an evermore regular part of our society, the possibilities for what a second wedding dress can be are endless”.

To help you decide what style of wedding attire is appropriate for your second wedding you should first decide what type of wedding ceremony you are having.

Are you having a traditional church wedding, outdoors wedding, destination or beach wedding? If, like Pamela Anderson, you choose to have your second wedding aboard a yacht anchored off of St Tropez, then this will dictate your style of wedding attire (in her case a white string bikini - not every encore brides\' first choice I’m sure!).

One of the main questions which crops up amongst brides, grooms and also wedding guests, is whether it is acceptable to ask for wedding gifts from guests at your second wedding. This is particularly pertinent if you have invited family and friends who already bought you a gift for your first wedding.
Wedding etiquette states that buying a gift for a couple who are getting married for the second time is definitely not mandatory.

Wedding gifts are traditionally given to help a couple set up home together. Nowadays most couples live together before they walk down the aisle and so already have an established household with the requisite amount of crockery, toasters and wine glasses.
You should definitely consider registering for wedding gifts as the majority of your guests will want to buy you a gift (especially if it is a first wedding for one of you).

Although typical wedding gifts may not be appropriate for a second wedding, you could consider registering for fun gifts such as equipment for a shared hobby (I attended a second wedding where the bride put golf clubs and lessons on her wedding wish list so that she could share her new husband’s love of the game!), artwork, sculptures or ornaments, a selection of fine wines, vouchers for activity days out (perfect if you have children you can share these with), plants for your garden or a donation to be made to a charity of your choice.
Keep in mind that some of your invited guests might well have been generous with their first wedding gifts to you, so if you are planning to register or ask for gifts then don’t feel hard done by if they choose not to buy you a gift or only buy you a small token gift.

Surely the most important thing is that they choose to share your special day!
Personally I would have no problem buying a gift for a couple whose wedding I was invited to, even if I had already bought a gift for their previous wedding (though if it was the same two people remarrying then I would probably only buy a token gift). In my sister’s case she and her fiancé are already talking about their honeymoon which will include my two young nephews, so I suggested to her that she register for travel gift vouchers.

There is a great article at which explains how honeymoon registry websites work. By using one of the free websites mentioned in the article you can list all of your honeymoon expenses including airfares, accommodation costs, excursions, meals, spa treatments, spending cash and even luggage on a website which is accessible to your wedding guests. This means that your guests can purchase whatever aspect or make whatever contribution towards your honeymoon they wish.

If, like my sister, this idea appeals to you then you might also want to take a look at where you can set up a registry for your guests to buy you frequent flyer miles to put towards your honeymoon or future travel once you are married.
Whilst many newlyweds enjoy some time to themselves on their honeymoons, it is becoming more common for couples to include their children in their honeymoon plans after a second wedding. The honeymoon presents a perfect opportunity for blended families to spend time together and share bonding experiences.

As mentioned, my sister intends on taking her two children on her honeymoon (it was her fiancé\'s idea!). My youngest nephew is obsessed with elephants so my sister has already mentioned that they are considering all going on a safari holiday in Africa - what a perfect way to kick-start their new life together as a family.

I am sure they will share lots of great memories from the trip and get to know each other even better!
If you are lucky enough to get a second chance at marriage then I think you should ignore the statistics that say that the chances of a second marriage ending in divorce are 60% compared to 50% of first marriages. Inevitably you will be apprehensive about saying \"I do\" for the second time but let your hope and optimism shine through for your second wedding.

Have confidence in the fact that you are a different person from the one who got married the first time - you are older and wiser second time around.
This guidebook is perfect for women planning their second weddings. It provides the most current and applicable how-to\'s on such touchy subjects as: gown choice, family participation, guest diplomacy, gifts, bridal party choices, invitation wording, reception planning, religious requirements, and legalities.

about the etiquette of getting married again? Questions include what do you wear and do you have a present list? She discusses this topic with Sandra Boler consulting editor of and journalist .

Read this on on how couples are embracing second weddings as wholeheartedly as first their one. Written by Marcelle S. Fischler, it offers an excellent insight into the whole subject of encore weddings.

- Offers marriage advice and inspirations from how to tell your children you are getting married the second time around to choosing your dress.
- All the second wedding ideas you\'ll need to plan your remarriage! Leave questions on the second wedding forum and an expert will respond with an answer.

- Bride Again is designed for the encore bride. It is targeted to women over 30 who have been married at least one before, have children from a previous marriage or are marrying someone with children and are currently planning to be remarried.
- Thoughts, suggestions, reflections, and opinions For re-wedding brides.

It seems celebrities think they have the right to crash weddings and get away with it. In fact and his production company have decided to create a reality show that crashes the weddings of unsuspecting couples. The new TV series based on the hit movie (see the ) will be shown in 2007 on the .

It will feature a whole host of actors, who will deliberately set out to confuse and amuse wedding guests on the most important day of their lives in each of the planned six hour long programs. Sadly and , the stars of the movie will not feature in the show.
It might well become compulsive viewing, much like Kutcher’s celebrity practical joke show on , but really how funny is it to potentially ruin a bride’s wedding day just for the sake of a cheap joke!

Reading the twenty or so comments at , I’m not surprised to learn that the majority of brides would be horrified if Kutcher turned up at their wedding. As quite rightly points out, emotions are already high on a wedding day and the sight of a TV crew descending on your wedding could really set the fireworks off! The only saving grace is that the program doesn’t set out to embarrass the bride and groom, but instead has the actors entertaining the wedding guests with funny stunts and pranks at the ceremonies and receptions.

It still sounds like a recipe for disaster to me but I admit I had to laugh when reading take on this new program, speculating that Kutcher’s next reality TV show would be based on the movie .