As the stack of tracks I could or should have posted in various categories but didn't - because I a) only recently found them, or b) got them from generous friends and readers of this blog, or c) simply forgot about them although I had them somewhere in my collection - keeps getting higher by the week, I decided to tie 'em up in a neat and manageable bundle for you to, well, enjoy and bring the whole thing up to date. So here we go, in chronological order:
As someone mentioned in the comments to "Blondie Goes to Bitburg" at the time, not only recorded a version of "Heart of Glass" but also covered "Call Me", written by Debbie Harry and former Schlager producer Giorgio Moroder for Paul Schrader's morality play American Gigolo in 1980. "Ruf an" features prominently in this package, as does "Nur Sieger steh'n im Licht" (The Limelight is for Winners Only), her version of "The Winner Takes It All", one of Abba's later and pretty much execrable hits.
Which brings us to Holger Frank whose "Heu, Gras, Kirschen" (Hay, Grass, Cherries), a take on "Ring Ring", miserably failed to make him a household name, thus remaining just another track I found on one of those delirious and dirt cheap Schlager compilations that cropped up all over the place in the 60s and 70s and can be found by the hundreds at today's swap meets. The similarly unfamiliar trio of Milan, Paul Ela chimes in with just another version of "S.O.
S.", this time with a cute Czech accent, while (aka Monika Schwab), the sister of Mary Roos (see "A Laugh Supreme"), a rather charmless, boorish-sounding songstress who hit the German pop scene in 1974 with an exuberant piece of exceedingly dumb Jack-White-produced oompah junk called "Wir lassen uns das Singen nicht verbieten" (They Can't Keep Us from Singing); in 1977, she tried her hands at "Money Money Money", with rather limited success.
Although Cindy Bert's "Der Hund von Baskerville" remains unsurpassed for "Heavy Schlock", 's take on Free's 1970 hit single "All Right Now" most definitely is a contender for one of the top three all-time-worst German-language heavy-rock covers.
Wilfully abusing an acoustic guitar and a synthesized accordion, the group - whose name translates as "Peat Rock", hinting at their Northern origins - turns the proto-metal anthem into an unplugged novelty ditty called "Ich bin blau" (I'm Canned - or Shitfaced, if you prefer) which, content-wise, covers (sic) more or less the same ground as the Dead Kennedys' "Too Drunk to Fuck". If you think that's funny, you should probably start looking for professional help.
Apart from doing a German version of "Where Did Our Love Go", The Supremes also gave their 1965 hit single "Come See About Me" the notorious hun treatment.
Unfortunately, "Jonny und Joe" didn't do nowhere near as well as the original which went to #1 in the US and #27 in the UK, but failed to break the German charts at all, which makes the original seven-inch a much sought-after (and wildly expensive) collector's item.
Here's two versions of the mighty Dusty Springfield's 1967 torcher "I Close My Eyes and Count to Ten", the first coming from , a Munich-born singer and actress whose greatest recording success was "Hundert Mann und ein Befehl" - a teutonized cover of Ssgt Barry Sadler's 1966 "Ballad of the Green Berets", an insanely sentimental quarter pound of "patriotic" schmaltz - which was banned by German radio stations during the first Gulf war. The second one was recorded by who, by today's pathetic standards, emerges as a regular giant in terms of setting German-language lyrics to rock music; not only did he do it first, but he mastered the job with a healthy helping of intelligence, wit and panache which is sadly missing from the lyrical efforts of most contemporary German artists.
The wistful "Die Augen zu" (Eyes Closed), comes from his 1991 release Gustav - a concept album dedicated to his father, telling the story of the cheap Hamburg Hotel Imperial - as does "Unterm Säufermond" (Under the Drunkard's Moon), his booze-drenched take on Dusty's "The Windmills of Your Mind". Although the lyrics seem heartfelt, the album suffers from overproduction, putting on layer after layer of synth and drum computer sounds, which seriously dampens pleasure and makes for a rather gruelling listening experience.
Actually, there's no excuse for posting a track, and believe me, I'm doing it solely for the record, as up until a week ago, I had no idea this excruciatingly appalling version of The Sweet's "Co-Co" even existed.
Sporting the trademarks of just about every Wolfgang Petry song - an incredibly stupid beat, cheap-sounding keyboards, a poorly played "hard rock" guitar and a chorus so moronic even the most tone-deaf audience members will be able to bawl it at the top of their lungs after having swilled about three gallons of beer - it makes you want to praise the non-existent Lord in Heaven 'cuz Petry actually retired this year at the age of 55. The fact that zillions of Germans have bought his records during his 30-year career should be enough to make you think twice about the sorry state of the nation, though. (Thanks to Benny Hallström from the excellent website for providing this dud.
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Like Petry, 90s funsters (The Fabulous Bar Sluts) were from Cologne and achieved a modicum of well-deserved fame for their 1995 album Titten, Theken, Temperamente (Tits, Bars, Temperaments), a collection of literally translated - and extremely funny - German-language renditions of international chart toppers ranging from T. Rex's "Children of the Revolution" to Boney M.'s "Daddy Cool".
As a bonus track, the cd contained a tumultuous live recording of Juliane Werding's "Am Tag, als Conny Kramer starb" (The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down) for which I am indebted to Bronski from the beautiful blog.
is an incredibly smug - and immensely popular - East German actor and singer who came to West Berlin in the late 70s and subsequently starred in several TV shows, usually playing out his proletarian charm in parts such as police detectives, lawyers or - as in Auf Achse, a shameless rip-off of the US series Movin On - truck drivers. Starting in1965, he made loads of records and still hits the studio now and then.
"Es steht ein Haus in New Orleans", his version of "House of the Rising Sun" with just another set of lyrics credited to the pair of "Köhler-Kerber" (whoever they may be) is from 1967 and comes off an obscure album called Die Rose war rot - Schlager-Chansons unserer Tage, released in the AMIGA "Für Dich" series. A big thank you goes out to Dirk for sending me this hard-to-find track.
started out in the mid-60s as a first-rate secretary, then advanced to being a second-rate actress (in dozens of cheap comedies and TV series) and is best-known today for selling a brand of third-rate cosmetics bearing her name - and having a son who's prone to getting into bar fights, splashing a few droplets of blood over the tabloids' front pages every other week.
She also recorded a handful of singles in the late 60s, among them this version of Edison Lighthouse's "Love Grows", using the same lyrics as Karel Gott and proving that she's - at best - a fourth-rate singer.
As a bonus track, here's a recent flea-market find, the English vocal version of Gershon Kingsley's "Pop Corn" which someone mentioned in the comments at the time. were a French five-piece from Lille (they also recorded a French-language cover of the song), consisting of Gilles Devos (voc), Jacques Deville (voc, g), Patrick Verette (b), Christian Lerouge (keys) and Michel Dhuy (dr).
After succeeding with "Pop Corn", they came up with "Carmen Brasilia - The New Pop Corn" in 1972 and had a few more hits in France before disbanding in 1983.
1. Marianne Rosenberg - Ruf an (Call Me)
2.
Holger Frank - Heu, Gras, Kirschen (Ring Ring)
3. Milan, Paul Ela - S. O.
S. (German version)
4. Tina York - Money, Money, Money (German version)
5.
Marianne Rosenberg - Nur Sieger steh'n im Licht (The Winner Takes It All)
6. Torfrock - Ich bin blau (All Right Now)
7. The Supremes - Jonny und Joe (Come See About Me)
8.
Heidi Brühl - Ich schließe meine Augen (I Close My Eyes and Count to Ten)
9. Udo Lindenberg - Die Augen zu (I Close My Eyes and Count to Ten)
10. Udo Lindenberg - Unterm Säufermond (The Windmills of Your Mind)
11.
Wolfgang Petry - Co-Co (Ho Chi Kaka Ho) [German version]
12. Die fabulösen Thekenschlampen - Am Tag, als Conny Kramer starb (The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down)
13. Manfred Krug - Es steht ein Haus in New Orleans (House of the Rising Sun)
14.
Uschi Glas - Wenn dein Herz brennt (Love Grows [Where My Rosemary Goes])
Bonus track:
15.
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