Mercy Street - [log]Yumichika, Ikkaku

Title: They Moved Through the Fair Part 2
Characters: Yumichika ( ), Ikkaku ( )
Timeline: June 3, 2006
Rating: PG-13, mainly for language.
Summary: ROADTRIP. Among other things.

"I'd rather be kissin' the plushie than you." Though he scowls at Yumichika, his voice is amused. "Nothin' personal, it'd be like the goodbye kiss 'fore I toss that stuffed ass to be torn apart by the vultures.

"

Making a face at the bald joke, Ikkaku calls out to his speedy companion, "You better hope they don't have an option on stickin' someone else in there! I'd dunk yer ass in a second!"

"How about you kiss my arse.

" Yumichika singsongs, making Kaku-chan wiggle about in the air as he manages to walk backwards and talk to Ikkaku without stumbling into the many people milling about the fairgrounds. "It's much nicer than Kaku-chan's."

Turning back around, Yumichika shakes said behind in Ikkaku's direction, a little taunt before he's distracted by the crowd cheering and waving at the young man sitting atop the seat that hovers over the dunking tank.

Ikkaku waits until he's up behind Yumichika, giving him a little shoulder bump to show how enamored he is with the idea. "Ain't enough booze in the world." Folding his arms over his chest, Ikkaku grins a little.

"Well? You gonna show 'em how it's done or not?"

Ikkaku has no doubt that Yumichika will be able to dunk the idiot, but part of him kinda wouldn't mind dropping the sopping moron himself.

Just because. "Ya need me to hold the stuffed pain in the ass for ya?"

"Of course!

" Returning the shoulder bump with one of his own, Yumichika hands over Kaku-chan for Ikkaku's safe keeping. "No foisting him off to pitchfork wielding people."

Warning served, Yumichika watches the young woman currently trying to dunk the idiot sitting, jeering at her from over the tank before stepping up to the carnie and paying for three balls.

The arrogance on the moron's face does fade when Yumichika steps up to the line, the girl having missed all three of her throws and giving Yumichika a smile as she steps back to watch.

Yumichika misses the first shot, shrugging good naturedly and offering the crowd of onlookers a grin. The second goes wide by a mile.

..not even hitting the big blue tarpaulin that surrounds the target.

The disappointed "Awwwww" from the crowd is met with the jeers from the boy smirking down at Yumichika as his third shot his the side of the tank instead of anywhere near the space that'll send the dunkee into the tank.

"Ha! You throw like a girl!

" The boy calls out and Yumichika smiles, holding out another few bills to the carnie. "Six more balls please."

"Your money.

" The man shrugs, handing over the balls and putting the money into his pocket.

Large cat-thing tucked securely under his arm Ikkaku moves to get a good vantage point of the eventual splash down. He rolls his eyes as Yumichika deliberately misses all three shots, knowing the other man seems to think it'll make the expression on the soaked idiot all the more appealing.

At the comment about throwing like a girl, though (he's obviously never been on the receiving end of Rangiku's throws- damn woman has unparalleled accuracy when it comes to Ikkaku's head), he can't help but to call out, "Oi, Yumi! Ya gonna let 'im call ya a girl?"

Setting the balls onto the little table that had been set up just for that purpose, Yumichika keeps one in his hand and gives it a little throw in the air.

..the softball hitting his palm with a dull thwap as he catches it again.

When Ikkaku calls out, Yumichika turns and tosses him a wink before turning back to his prey.

The boy on the seat falls silent when he spies the look on Yumichika's face, the smile that's nothing like a smile should be. Pure, unbridled evil is in that smile as far as the poor, arrogant idiot is concerned.

..he's pretty certain if Satan was a fruity looking, feather-headed freak then he'd be wearing a smile just like the one Yumichika has curving his lips.

He's not given the chance to truly appreciate the overwhelming sense of doom when the first ball hits with deadly precision and sends him into the water below. When he surfaces he knows with startling clarity every..

.single..

.ball is going to send him crashing back into the tank.

Yumichika grins.

The crowd erupts in cheers and the poor sod gasps in the water. Ikkaku has to admit, the expression on his face is pretty amusing. With each progressive dunking, the crowd gets even louder, shouting out encouragement.

Ikkaku just snickers, though. It's nice to see Yumichika's vindictive side when it's not directed at him. Or leads to a fist flying in his face not long afterwards.

When the final softball is thrown, leaving his victim spluttering and gasping in the tank, Yumichika turns to the cheering crowd and offers them an elegant bow. The applause carries on even as he straightens, the mischief in his gaze now settled into a glow of immense satisfaction and Yumichika rejoins Ikkaku with glee written all over his features.

"You know I'd have settled for just dunking him once if he'd not been so rude.

" Yumichika twitters, retrieving Kaku-chan and tucking him happily into his arms.

"Yeah right." Ikkaku scoffs, leading the way out of the crowd and deeper into the fair.

"Yer like one of 'em sleeper cars. Go out, looking as unassumin' as possible, gettin' people to shot their mouths off. An' once the starter goes off?

They're fuckin' done." Which isn't to say he minds either way. He's been caught in that trap on several occasions (still has the rare habit of doing it recently) but he does find it pretty hilarious when it happens to other people.

"You get off on that kinda shit. Don't tell me ya don't."

"Unassuming is not an adjective I'd use to describe me.

" Yumichika chuckles, glancing down at himself and then at Ikkaku with incredulous eyes and a raised eyebrow. He's about as far from unassuming as he can possibly imagine and while people tend to mistake him for something other than the devious, mischief maker that he is that rest entirely on their misconceptions and is in no way his fault. "I'm too head turningly gorgeous to be unassuming.

"

Bapping Ikkaku on the head with Kaku-chan, Yumichika grins and glancing around him at the fairgrounds and what's left on offer. "What else can we do here?"

Ikkaku takes a swipe at the giant stuffed animal.

"You know what I mean!" Taking a final sip of his big-ass lemonade, the straw slurps in the icecubes. "We can hit some of the rides if ya want.

Unless ya wanna knock someone else over in a game. Try not to get us tossed out until we're closer to where we parked, alright?"

And, with the last of his roasted corn having been munched, Ikkaku makes a slight detour to toss the rubbish into a garbage can.

"Yer choice, whaddya wanna do?"

"Rides." Yumichika nods in finality, already turning towards where he can see the various machinery rising above the booths of the arcade and the many heads of the crowd around them.

"Definitely the rides. I've had my fill of throwing softballs at idiots for today."

Grinning, Yumichika surveys their choices.

..from the sedate ferris wheel to something that spins and spins and makes him dizzy just looking at it let along getting inside it.

The sound of loud techno music blaring over speakers however, catches his attention and Yumichika spies the large stage-like platform with the little cars zooming around on it.

"Bumper cars!" Yumichika cries out in delight and makes a beeline for the decent sized queue waiting for the next round.

Ikkaku's lips pull down into a sneer. Despite his free-wheeling tendencies, he's actually not fond of bumper cars. Having spent a great deal of time doing crazy ass stunts at high speeds, sometimes in the middle of a crowd of other people doing crazy ass stunts at high speeds, the idea of deliberately ramming into someone else doesn't sit exactly right with Ikkaku.

But, he supposes, it's better than Yumichika wanting to go on one of the whirly-gigs right off the bat. Though the size of the line doesn't make Ikkaku much happier. As they wait, Ikkaku tugs open Yumichika's backpack, shifting things around to make room for the large, empty cup.

As he's stuffing it inside, something else catches his attention.

"What the- Yumi!" He takes the object (two of them, actually) and thrusts it under the other man's nose.

"I know you did not get this with the intention of givin' it to me!"

Yumichika's face is written in pure innocence and he blinks, wide eyed at Ikkaku's accusation as though he can't believe he'd even suggest it.

"Of course I had no intention of giving it to you.

" Which is the truth. Yumichika had plans on giving it to someone else entirely but Ikkaku doesn't need to know that either way the plans were for his bald-head friend to wear it. "I've another plan for it entirely.

"

Snatching the collar and leash out his hands and placing it back into his backpack...

with a little bit of wriggling about considering he's trying to hold onto Kaku-chan at the same time...

Yumichika smiles sweetly at Ikkaku before promptly turning his attention back to the bumper cars. "You have such a perverted mind, Ikkaku."

Yumichika's expression, of course, does not convince Ikkaku that there's no sort of plan involving him and that collar and leash somewhere in the foreseeable future.

Ikkaku has no idea how the three of them can possibly coincide, but then he's never had very good luck trying to understand the workings going on in the fruity bastard's head.

"I don't know what yer plannin'," he says with finality, "but it ain't gonna happen. So ya might as well find a dog that'll fit it an' be content with that.

" And, really, in the end Ikkaku doesn't want to know what Yumichika has in mind for that leather combo. Because when all is said and done Ikkaku can bet it's not going to be good news for him.

"You really need to work on your paranoia.

" Yumichika shakes his head, the serious expression on his face completely ruined by the smile twitching at his lips. Ikkaku's been the unwilling victim of too many of Yumichika's plans not to know when doom is written somewhere in his near future. Patting Ikkaku's shoulder comfortingly, Yumichika adopts a pitying look and gazes at Ikkaku with sad eyes.

"Your suspicion wounds me so."

"Wounds ya like what?" He asks dryly.

"A rubberband, maybe? It ain't paranoia when it comes to you, ya know."

The line is moving quicker than he had imagined it would and they're already set to go in with the next group.

"So?" He asks as he bats the dumb-looking doll. "You gonna take that thing in with ya or what?

"

"Of course." Yumichika gives Ikkaku a look clearly stating his opinion on the thought of leaving the stuffed cat in anyone else's possession. Holding the plush close and batting Ikkaku's hand away, Yumichika moves up the stairs to the platform just as those from the previous round start bounding off and their round start moving to their little cars.

"Kaku-chan is going to be my co-driver."

Tossing a wink in Ikkaku's direction, Yumichika selects his car (ignoring the whining of a little girl who wanted the pretty purple car and the mean man took it..

wah, wah...

blah, blah) and tucks Kaku-chan into the seat with him.

For a brief moment Ikkaku almost considers sitting this one out (again, deliberately running into someone goes against everything he's learned about driving. And living) but two things stop him.

One, Yumichika would get upset, even if he wouldn't do anything more than scoff and call him a pussy in that roundabout way of his. And two, Ikkaku's already being pushed out into the platform.

Ah well, can't be helped.

Ikkaku meanders to a retro-type silver and red number and it's almost too small for him. Though, given the number of other not-children-sized riders, Ikkaku has to wonder why they don't have the next larger size. Then he sees Yumichika strap the fat cat in next to him and he has this crazy, vindictive idea to see how much abuse it can take before it falls out.

...

Fuck it, Yumi's going to looking to ram him anyway. With a palm on the wheel and his foot on the gas, Ikkaku grins and waits for the buzzer.

It's only a few dollars and five minutes later that Yumichika's stepping out of the car with a wicked grin on his face but a slightly worse for wear looking Kaku-chan under his arm.

..whose head now kind of lolls to one side like certain people he knows after one too many.

A little put out that his cat has taken so much abuse, and by his name sake at that, Yumichika is assured in the fact that at least he gave back as good as he got. For Kaku-chan's honor.

"You're a cat abuser.

" He points at Ikkaku as soon as the pair are back down on the grass again, a mildly evil glint in his eyes as he offers up the black plush to the other man. "Kiss him better."

Ikkaku grins, both surprised that he actually was able to make the cat fall out and how well it actually took up the resulting abuse.

When he reaches out, though, he gives the doll an affectionate knock on the head.

"Okay, maybe it ain't such a prissy thing after all. It can take its knocks.

" But he's not putting his lips anywhere near it. "So? Day's still young, where to now?

"

"I named him after you didn't I?" Yumichika grins in response, hugging the plush animal back to his chest before scanning the fairgrounds for something else to do. A large contraption of metal, bright paint and with various different bits and pieces hanging, swinging, shaking and so on stands tall and inviting just past the ferris wheel and it captures Yumichika's attention before anything else.

It looks ridiculous, it looks cheesy and to Yumichika it looks perfect.

"The fun house." He points it out, already walking towards it with eager steps.

"I wonder if it has a ball pit."

With a snort and an eye roll, Ikkaku shakes his head. Yumichika's little habits have never and will never be something he'll understand.

Such as his sudden desire to go into a fun house.

"Aw, c'mon Yumi! Don't ya wanna go on an actual ride?

Like the roto-whirl or somethin'?" Ikkaku's a bit on the skeptical side when it comes to fun houses. He's been to them before back when he was younger and recalls them being fun.

But then he also recalls liking House of Pain and Chucky Cheese as a kid, too.

But, who knows? It may actually be as good as he recalled.

"I don't think ya need a ball pit. Not unless there's other people around fer you to hit."

"I like playing with balls.

" Yumichika's pout is complemented by the stubborn set to his shoulders then entirely ruined by the smile in his eyes. Still he refuses to give an inch..

.not that he really has to because Yumichika's certain despite Ikkaku's whining that he'll give up the roto-whirl if Yumichika wants to play in the fun house. Certain in the way that requires no more arguments on his part and he simply baps Ikkaku on the head with Kaku-chan.

..the cat more weapon now that something for Yumichika to snuggle.

"And stop you're whining." He chides. "You've been to a fair before and therefore have no opinion.

"

Before Ikkaku has a chance to groan at the terrible pun (gay humor, hahaha) he gets attacked. Taking the blow with a sulk, Ikkaku steps out to give Yumichika a flat tire.

"Like ya need an excuse to tell me I have no opinion on anythin'.

" He snorts. "Oppressor. Just 'cuz yer a minority, suddenly yer special.

" They're already moving into the entryway of the fun house, proving Ikkaku's opinion doesn't count by proxy. "But we better be hittin' some thrill rides 'fore the place closes down."

"Yes, yes.

" Yumichika waves off Ikkaku's demands with a verbal shake of his metaphorical hand and gives the man the required cash to enter the house. "Poor you, abused by a gay man who weighs a lot less than you and gets mistaken for a female half the time."

He's on a mission to find a mirrored room and a ball pit and then he'll indulge Ikkaku's demands for something that's more vomit inducing.

Besides, it's not like he doesn't want to go on the more crazy of rides himself but Yumichika knows how to get enjoyment out of almost anything so he's quite happy to take his time doing everything that takes his fancy.

"We'll find something that's suitably hair raising and likely to have screaming kids throwing up all over their parents for you afterwards. First, I want to see how ridiculous you look in the crazy mirrors.

"

"Oh, nice. I'm all about findin' more ways fer you to laugh at me." Ah well.

So long as they got this over with fast enough, Ikkaku doesn't care.

It takes half an hour and two carnies sweeping the place before they come out, run down the aisle and hide two booths over. Then, amid a smattering of odd looks, the two crouch down and burst out laughing.

"Ho...

ho shit!" Ikkaku gasps, bending over his knees. "I've never.

.. Christ- the look!

On their faces! HAHAHAHA!"

Yumichika's not guffawing like Ikkaku but there are tears of mirth streaming down his face as he peers around the booth to make certain their pursuers have lost the scent and are running elsewhere.

A boy eating a candy apple gives him a look of recognition and promptly burst into tears and that's it for Yumichika. He collapses on the grass next to Ikkaku and shakes with laughter.

"That one.

.." Yumichiak gestures vaguely and looks a little like a drunken swan.

"he...

and then. They're going to need therapy!"

Ikkaku's leaning on Kaku-chan for support, muffling his laughter against the listing head.

"Hahahaha! Oh man! Can't.

.. can't breath!

" He wipes tears from his eyes, holding his aching sides. "We're gonna get run outta this place, oh man!"

Well worth it, though.

The fun house on it's own was a far, far cry from anything remotely interesting, let alone fun. But, as the saying goes, you get amusement where you find it. Or make it.

Or...

something.

"And this time you can't blame me." Yumichika says between gasps for breath and the giggles he just can't seem to shake.

After all it had been Ikkaku who'd started the whole mess in the Not-so Fun house and not Yumichika so as far as his concerned should they get run out the blame shall rest entirely on his shoulders...

despite his little adventures with softballs.

"Come on lets move. Before the double back and try looking for us behind the booths.

" Yumichika's got more to see and do before the pair are chased out by the revolution of carnival workers.

"Right, right." Still snickering, the two weave around the fair to lose their potential pursuers and themselves.

"Alright," Ikkaku says, "now we get onto some real rides." Little chance of them causing trouble and chased off there. Maybe.

They have a way surprising themselves.

"You pick." Yumichika's feeling generous.

..and a little light headed from all the laughter but that can easily be replaced with feeling light headed by being spun around or dropped from a large height.

..whatever ride Ikkaku chooses the deciding factor.

"Just don't pick anything that'll have Kaku-chan actually losing his head."

With a wicked grin Ikkaku is moving through the booths with a purpose. "Alright!

" He already knows exactly where he wants to go, having noticed it during their run. "In that case you'll wanna leave it with the operator. Or hang on to it real tight 'cuz we're hittin' the Octopus.

"

Because nothing will make you want to puke faster than being spun three different ways at once. Except maybe wingmanning a crack baby. That's stomach churning right there.

"Octopus?" Yumichika asks, wondering what kind of of ride could be that terrifying if it's been named after something that tastes good with white wine sauce. In any rate he's not certain why Ikkaku should have that particularly wicked grin on his face but he'll heed his advice anyway and make sure Kakku-chan is in safe hands.

"Hardly sounds all that fear inspiring."

Of course when he looks up and comes face to face with the ride itself, Yumichika figures that it looks suitably vomit inducing and well octopus doesn't always agree with everybody's stomach.

"This looks.

..interesting.

" Is all that Yumichika says.

Ikkaku wishes he could grin wider because damn does it feel good getting one over on Yumi for once.

"Oh yeah.

Fun as hell." Moving into the line, Ikkaku bounces a bit on his toes, glad to finally be doing something of his choice. "Ya can't tell me you ain't gettin' on, ya gotta try at least once!

" The 'or I ain't lettin' ya guilt me into doin' any of yer fruity ass whims again' is unspoken between them.

"I'm not saying I'm not going to get on." Yumichika sniffs, only a little put out that Ikkaku could even think he'd be daunted enough to decline trying out the ride all together.

Tightening the straps on his backpack with one sharp tug, Yumichika square his shoulders and give Ikkaku a defiant smile. "I'll try anything once."

And if he's unfortunate enough to become reacquainted with his chicken on a stick.

..which would be disgusting and not something he likely do but just in case, Yumichika will make certain he aims in Ikkaku's direction.

"Good. While yer at it, try keepin' yer food down, huh?" He snickers as the monster slows to a stop and the line thrums in anticipation of moving forward.

The previous riders shuffle off, some bounding energetically, others in a woozy crawl and more in some variation of the two. "That was my treat, so you puke it up, yer buyin' dinner."

The metallic creature looms as they pass through the gate, Ikkaku practically jumping into a seat in masochistic glee.

Yumichika doesn't vomit, doesn't make a fool of himself in any manner and really does enjoy the ride. Of course when it's over and he's sure the world is swimming around him in a manner that it should outside of being completely sloshed or high with fever, Yumichika stumbles from the ride, collects Kaku-chan and weaves his way out through the crowd..

.and continues weaving about on his feet.

.

..and promptly falls over.

"Oh help. I've fallen and I can't get up." He deadpans, lips twitching in an effort to hold back his smile.

He almost has the irrational urge to start giggling but Yumichika places the blame solely on the lightheadedness inducing a kind of deranged uphoria.

"Let's do that again."

Conversely Ikkaku is sure on his feet, conditioned from all the dumb, adrenaline pumping, bone crushing stunts he's done.

Planting his feet on either side of Yumichika's hips Ikkaku grabs him under the armpits. "Here we go." He says cheerily, hefting the lightweight back onto wobbly feet.

He keeps his grip on Yumi until he knows he won't fall over again.

"Ya sure?" He asks with a snicker.

"I ain't sure I wanna carry ya 'round fer the rest of the day."

"But you would because you're such a gentleman." YUmichika bats his eyelashes and leans closer to Ikkaku, becoming more of a dead weight than he can blame on his dizziness.

Pausing for a moment, Yumichika winks before snapping forward to press a sloppy kiss to Ikkaku's forehead and springing back with only slightly unsteady steps.

"Now lets go on something else that's sure to make me stumble about like my Mother after her 11 o'clock martini."

Before he can drop his hands (and, subsequently, Yumi) there's wet lips on his skin.

"Yeuch!" He scrubs at his forehead with his hands. "Dammit, Yumi!

I HATE when ya do that!"

Scowling and wiping any lingering feeling of the kiss, Ikkaku looks around to see what other rides they can conquer. And ignores all the stares he's now getting.

"He's so shy." Yumichika addresses a couple who's gaze has been drawn by Ikkaku's outburst. They give Yumichika s hesitant smile and a sort of nod before bustling off and far away from the obviously crazy people.

Yumichika grins, turning to Ikkaku with a quip on his lips when a shout interrupts whatever he might have said.

"You two!"

Yumichika eyes grow wide and then he's snagging Ikkaku by the arm and running, their pursuers from the Fun House now dashing across the grass and pushing their way through the crowd.

"We've been spotted!" The urgency in his voice is belied by the wide grin on his face as he darts in and out of the people queuing for the rides.

"Damn!

" Cursing though he may be, Ikkaku's got a manic grin on his face. Stretching out his legs Ikkaku reverses the grip, pulling Yumichika behind him as they duck and run. "Those guys don't give up!

"

He makes a sharp turn, almost yanking Yumichika off his feet. "This way! We'll lose 'em in the crowd!

" And also sneak in a ride on the mini-coaster, but hey. It's a win-win situation.